Ken Ham Hits Miley Cyrus Like a Wrecking Ball

06/24/2015 10:39 pm ET | Updated Jun 24, 2016

Almost every day, I take time out to think about both Miley Cyrus and Ken Ham, usually in the same context. So imagine the joy that swelled in my heart upon seeing that Ham, who runs the Creation "Museum" in Kentucky and is trying to build a Noah's Ark theme park there too, recently criticized Cyrus for an interview with Paper (nsfw) in which she mentioned Noah's Flood:

Those people -- the ones who believe that, say, Noah's Ark was a real seafaring vessel. "That's [f*&#ing] insane," she says. "We've outgrown that fairy tale, like we've outgrown [f*&#ing] Santa and the tooth fairy.

Later in the interview, discussing her sexuality, she commented:

I am literally open to every single thing that is consenting and doesn't involve an animal and everyone is of age.

Well, that was too much for Ken Ham. Denying there was a real Noah's Ark and being a libertine? Calling Noah's Flood a fairy tale and being open-minded? Clearly a cutting response was warranted -- nay, required. And here things took a turn for the strange...

Ham's rejoinder:

Question for her: Why not involve an animal? On what basis does she decide that?

Okaaaay, then. Now, for most people, such questions do not come up on a regular basis. I've been to plenty of zoos and I can testify that not even once has the question entered my mind. (My ponderings are more along the line of "What would it sound like if that bratty kid standing on the railing fell into the tiger pit?") But if such questions about animals did occur, reasonable people could think of many good responses. For example: "Ewwww!" But Ham has a more specific goal in mind:

Besides, if there's no God and she's just a result of evolution, then she is merely an animal anyway. And those she interacts with sexually are just animals -- so why not any animals?

Those darn evolutionismists! There they go again saying that human beings are merely evolved animals. There they go again with their "geology," claiming Noah's Flood never occurred. There they go again with their default assumption that one can make principled moral decisions without consulting the Bible.

Miley Cyrus clearly makes Ken Ham mad, but not mad enough to be impolite -- or to deter a potentially paying customer:

I do pray that Miley Cyrus will repent of her rebellion against the living "Ark" (Jesus Christ) and go through that door to be saved. I pray even Miley Cyrus might come to the Ark Encounter one day and have an encounter with Noah's Ark...

Ken Ham has promoted visits by celebrities, such as the Duggar family (now in disgrace owing to allegations of sexual molestation in the family), and Bill Nye, whom he boasted once drove by the entrance to the Creation "Museum" and took a picture.

But a visit by Miley Cyrus and her entourage would surely be a unique event. Imagine a giant winking teddy bear rolling on wheels through the Creation "Museum" gates. As it approaches the entryway, its tongue rolls out like an airplane emergency ramp, and down slides a barely-clothed Cyrus and her retinue, complete with pink monkey furries, spilling together in a heap. Shocked parents shield the eyes of their children. Extracting herself, Cyrus exuberantly declares to the fleeing crowd: "I repent of my rebellion, and I'm ready to have an encounter with the Ark!" (Apparently stranger things have happened at her concerts.) 

Before things got too unruly, though, someone should warn Ken Ham to make sure to remove the Creation "Museum"'s "millions of years" wrecking ballwrecking ball