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Steven Petrow
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Steven Petrow is the go-to source on contemporary etiquette, as cited by The New York Times, People, Time, and NPR. His sometimes gentle, sometimes snarky, always insightful advice has made him a nationally recognized expert on modern manners. In addition to his three prize-winning etiquette books, Steven writes the “Civil Behavior” column for The New York Times and is a sought-after speaker on all matters of civilized living in the 21st century.

In all, Steven’s the author of five books and is hard at work on a sixth, Mind Your Digital Manners: Navigating Life In An Age Without Rules. His work has also appeared in Salon, the Daily Beast, the Huffington Post, Life magazine, the Los Angeles Times, and dozens of other media outlets.

www.stevenpetrow.com
Facebook.com/gaymanners
Twitter.com/stevenpetrow

Blog Entries by Steven Petrow

Why Same-Sex Marriage Should Not Be Left to the States: It's a Matter of Life and Death

(89) Comments | Posted April 2, 2013 | 6:48 PM

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Numerous Supreme Court watchers have said that having the justices choose not to rule on Proposition 8, the 2008 initiative that banned same-sex marriage in California and allowing the debate to continue democratically state by state would be the best outcome...

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Queeries: Guess Whose Views Are Coming to Dinner?

(1) Comments | Posted August 13, 2012 | 3:08 PM

Question: "We're planning a dinner party next month when my partner's gay cousin comes to town. The two of them have had a lot of fun being "the lesbian cuzzes" in their very traditional family, but a recent email from her has me worried. She's gone all Tea Party on...

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Remembering David Rakoff: My Blind Date With Him And Other Stories

(7) Comments | Posted August 11, 2012 | 7:34 AM

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The first update on my Facebook page Friday morning read: "This American Life" contributor David Rakoff, dead of cancer, age 47." An attached link showed David, my first book editor, on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart explaining why...

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Queeries: Your Top 10 Sex Etiquette Questions in the Age of AIDS

(2) Comments | Posted July 26, 2012 | 3:47 PM


2012-07-26-SEXED.jpgManners experts rarely visit the bedroom, much less the back room -- at least in print. When they do, it's a disaster. For instance, Letitia Baldrige posits in New Manners for New Times that having "multiple sex partners is the worst of all...

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Queeries: Readers' Remedies for LGBT Loneliness

(0) Comments | Posted July 17, 2012 | 1:55 PM


2012-07-16-LonelyIstock.jpgQuestion: "I'm a 22-year-old, gay, Afro-Caribbean man living in the U.S. Virgin Islands, and I'm at my wits' end in trying to find friendship and companionship. No visible community exists here, and I doubt an underground community exists, either. Online attempts to find...

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Queeries: Dealing With Restaurant Bullies, and an Update on Using 'Mrs. and Mrs.'

(2) Comments | Posted July 3, 2012 | 3:28 PM


2012-07-02-PIC.gifQuestion: "My partner and I were in a quiet restaurant trying to have dinner near two straight guys, one of who was carrying on a very loud, endless cell phone conversation. We asked them to keep it down. Then one of them, drunk...

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Queeries: The Delicate Challenge of How to Lose Someone at a Bar... Politely

(4) Comments | Posted June 18, 2012 | 11:24 AM

2012-06-18-CoupleIStock.jpgQuestion: "Last Saturday at a bar I had some guy hitting on me, but I wasn't interested. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I didn't want to talk with him for one more second and he was NOT taking a hint....

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Queeries: How to Celebrate Father's Day When Your Kid Has Two Moms

(4) Comments | Posted June 11, 2012 | 12:15 PM

2012-06-11-JUNE17th.jpgQuestion: Our son, who has two moms and no dad, came home from school this week and said that his fourth-grade class will spend an hour making Father's Day cards. He didn't know what to say to the teacher. How can we help...

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Queeries: The Gay Pre-Nup Is Real

(2) Comments | Posted May 29, 2012 | 4:20 PM

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Question: My partner and I have been together for about five years, and now we're planning our wedding. I've always earned more than he does, and I also have some family money, a retirement fund, and some real estate that I...

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Queeries: To Boycott North Carolina or Not? That Is the Question

(11) Comments | Posted May 17, 2012 | 10:15 PM


2012-05-16-AMENDMENT1.jpgQuestion: I know there's a lot of anger in the wake of the passage of Amendment 1 in North Carolina. For instance, one of my friends on Facebook posted this: "Gay people: Get out of the South. Boycott it. Don't give the people...

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Queeries: Funerals as Fundraisers?

(0) Comments | Posted May 11, 2012 | 11:37 AM

2012-05-08-SAGESteven1.jpgQuestion: The New York Times recently did a long article on a gay psychotherapist who committed suicide, ostensibly because he had trouble accepting his age as he approached 50. Ironically, he had just finished writing a book about smart strategies for aging in...

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Straight Talk: Friends Don't Text Friends When They Should Call

(1) Comments | Posted April 24, 2012 | 4:02 PM


2012-04-24-TextingStevenPic.jpgQuestion: I was having a hard week at work, and on top of that my girlfriend started making noises about our "slowing things down." I really needed to talk, and I called one of my (supposedly) best friends to vent. She didn't...

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Queeries: Should You Come Out As Tattooed?

(4) Comments | Posted April 20, 2012 | 9:10 PM

Question: Over the years I've gotten a number of tattoos, and they've really become a part of my identity. Most of them are not visible when I'm in work garb, but some of them are, especially when I roll up my sleeves. My boyfriend says I should cover them up...

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Just the Facts on North Carolina's Marriage Amendment

(106) Comments | Posted April 4, 2012 | 12:02 PM

This piece was written with Chuck Small

Washington, Maryland, New Jersey, New Hampshire. So far this year, the bumpy road to marriage equality has played out in four states, with wins in three, and an unsurprising veto in the Garden State by Republican Governor Chris Christie.

Next up, North Carolina's...

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Queeries: What to Wear When It Seems No One Cares Anymore

(7) Comments | Posted March 13, 2012 | 11:52 AM

2012-03-12-InviteSteven.jpgQuestion: I don't know about you, but it drives me crazy that people in our community don't dress for the theater anymore. They're just as likely to jump on a plane in their shorts and a T-shirt. What gives with that? What really irks...

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Queeries: How to Fight with a Cookie Monster

(19) Comments | Posted February 28, 2012 | 10:58 AM

2012-02-28-bobmorrisgirlscouts.jpgQuestion: I've been reading that the Girl Scouts are taking some big heat from "severe" conservatives like Bob Morris, the Indiana representative, who claims the group is a "radicalized organization" that "sexualizes" young girls and promotes homosexuality. It really got my goat when...

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Queeries: Should You YouTube Your Marriage Proposal for Valentine's Day?

(0) Comments | Posted February 14, 2012 | 4:13 PM

2012-02-12-VDay.jpgQuestion: My boyfriend and I live together in Delaware, which legalized same-sex civil unions earlier this year. For years we've been talking -- on and off -- about making our relationship legal when we could. Instead of some fancy chocolates or a bouquet...

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Queeries: Second Wedding, Second Set of Gifts?

(2) Comments | Posted February 8, 2012 | 1:50 PM

2012-02-07-WeddingGifts.jpgQuestion: In a recent column, Miss Manners wrote that "etiquette considers wedding presents to be associated only with first weddings" and that it is "blatant avarice" when couples are "permitted to exploit their friends, relatives and colleagues." I'm curious to know what you...

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Remembering Mary Duke Biddle Trent Semans: The Unofficial First Lady of N.C.

(2) Comments | Posted February 2, 2012 | 5:05 PM

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Mary Duke Biddle Trent Semans, the philanthropist who died last week in Durham, N.C., at age 91, never cut the same high-profile swath as Doris Duke, her glamorous and frequently infamous first cousin (once removed). Nor was she as wealthy,...

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Queeries: When Google Reveals Too Much About You

(1) Comments | Posted January 31, 2012 | 3:57 PM

2012-01-31-IStockGoogle.jpgQuestion: I know that just about everybody Googles their dates before going out with them the first time. Unfortunately, when you Google me, the first search result is a photo where I'm showing, how shall I put it, way too much skin. My...

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