I'm no apologist for Ken Mehlman, who headed the Republic National Committee during George W. Bush's presidency and was the architect of much of the anti-gay rhetoric and policies during that time. But Mehlman, who's only been out for less than 24 hours at the time of this writing, is being viciously tarred by bloggers from the left and the right. One of them, Joe Jervis (Joe.My.God.), has even bestowed the Roy Cohn Award to Mehlman for his "horridly homophobic" actions. Jervis goes on to argue that "if you live in any of the 21 states [where civil unions and same-sex marriage are unconstitutional] ..., you can credit your second class citizenship ... to fellow homosexual Ken Mehlman."
No matter how anti-gay Mehlman's previous positions have been -- and there's no argument here about the veracity of that record nor how much he was rightfully despised by the LGBT community -- the former GOP chair must be acknowledged for finally coming out. Unlike, Roy Cohn [the closeted McCarthyite who never in his lifetime spoke openly about his homosexuality], the 43-year old Mehlman found the courage to be honest about his identity with "family, friends, former colleagues and current colleagues [who have] been wonderful and supportive."
It's hardly ever easy for any of us to take those steps, especially because of the contributions of people like Mehlman to the anti-gay chorus of the previous decade. But Mehlman had to know that his coming out would be front page news and fuel the cable news cycle for what I'm sure will be days. To say that his coming out is harder than most is not true, but it certainly is more public and he is certainly being more vilified than any other gay person who has come out in recent times.
What disturbs me most thought is the rage being unleashed by some members of the LGBT community against him. One blogger called him "a piece of human garbage." Another says he is "so digging [the] rage over this vile POS. Keep it up!" he implores. For a community that well knows the power and danger of hate and its connection to violence, how can we condone this kind of "discourse"? We can't. We don't need to support him. We don't need to forgive him. But we do need to have some empathy and understanding of the closet he has just left. It's a closet every LGBT person knows all too well.
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Steven Petrow is a former president of the National Lesbian & Gay Journalists Association.
Follow Steven Petrow on Twitter: www.twitter.com/spetrow
Jim David: Dear Ken Mehlman: You've Got a Lot of Splainin' to Do
His audacity and self-righteousness are infuriating! When will he sincerely apologize for being a part of a regime that has caused a tremendous about of pain to the LGBT community. You're damn right we're angry at him..no apologies for that!
To do what Ken Mehlman did is to go against the cultural fabric in which he lived half of his life. That, in fact, is giving up a lot more than for a Liberal Democrat member of, say, the Unitarian Universalist Association, to "come out". He needs to be commended for taking this courageous step.
And remember, people, being right about "one thing" doesn't make you right about every thing.
Further just because he didn't have the balls to come out and follow his own conscience does not let off the hook. All Americans, not just the LGBT community, but all Americans are still trying to get out from under the slime that the Bush administration bathed the country.
Because of Mehlman LGBT people will continue the struggle to become equals to the every other tax paying American. So, he took one "courageous step", we all had to. He's got to do a whole lot more stepping before he can find any real peace of mind. He had a choice, to live his life as he was born or to lead with lies and deception. He chose the latter. Forgive me, but there is nothing honorable in his actions. I'm glad he decided to come out, now I hope he attempts to fix the wrong he created. I hope that he remembers that there are Americans dying in two wars for his freedom to deceive. Certainly the "culture" he came from valued honesty and doing what was right! He was not blind to justice, he chose to be.
Yes, most LGBT persons have, at least at some point in their lives, been acquainted with the closet. However, most LGBT persons do NOT choose to persecute other LGBT persons, and to be a mouthpiece for forces that would relegate us to second-class citizenship, all in the interest of furthering their own careers and shoring up false heterosexual bona fides. Nothing about being in the closet required Mehlman to do those things -- they were choices he made. THAT, was the fundamental significance of Roy Cohn, and the reason for giving Mehlman a "Roy Cohn award." I am happy for Mr. Mehlman, as a human being, that he has at last come to terms with himself, and better late than never (as in the case of Roy Cohn). But, in light of the time in history when Mr. Mehlman came of age, his actions are even more inexcusable -- and more reprehensible -- than those of Roy Cohn. Roy Cohn, at least, had the excuse of having come of age at a time when "coming out" would have necessarily meant career suicide (and possibly even actual suicide); which is not to say, of course, that there weren't plenty of brave souls who took that risk. But Mehlman, whose entire life has been lived in the post-Stonewall era, cannot take refuge behind even those excuses.
You'll forgive me if I refrain from embracing the Prodigal's return just yet.
Really? What about those of us that had the courage to acknowledge our orientation when we were still teenagers?
I've NEVER been in the closet, and I have paid a high price in my life for that, but if I were to do it all over again, I wouldn't change a thing.
Forgive Mehlman? I'll forgive him when he's genuinely sorry for the critical harm he has been instrumental in causing the gay and lesbian community.
I want to speak to the larger issue - the hypocricy that is so pervasive in the lives those who profess to tell us all how to live and live morally reprehensible lives - whether it is the closeted gay targeting gays or the family values politician with something on the side (same sex or not).
I also do not understand why public figures expect everyone to applaud them when they do 'the right thing' finally after doing so much damage all along. Certainly, we all like a good redemption story but this isn't one of them.
The more respectful thing may have been for this man to go quietly live his life and make amends in small, less public, less grand ways. If you are really sorry, amends can be made in other ways.
Hmmm, empathy? OK, if I ever happen to be in the same room as him I will resist the urge to give him the pounding about the face and neck he so readily deserves. I will, however, BOO! and chide him, to his face, and at every gathering he speaks at, even gay ones.
Then again, that tar and feather thing sounded pretty good...
GREAT, you now wanna wave your rainbow flag and make up with the LGBT political organizations to you can be, "at peace" with yourself. Unfortunately, we're NOT ready to make up with you yet.
There's a portion of the 12 step recovery programs that basically says that you'll try to make amends with those you've harmed except when to do so would HARM them.
You're premature attempts to make amends aren't accepted by this gay man who has absolutely been harmed by your role in the GOP's gay hating agenda. I need to go to "Al-anon for Former Republicans, Preachers, Religions, and Legislators who used their positions to abuse you" for a few years.
I'll let you know when I'm ready to talk.
But at any rate, of course gays and lesbians are angry to learn their supposed brother sold them down the river and now has a 4 million dollar loft in NYC to show for it. They have a right to be.
He'll be accepted by most if he puts his shoulder to the wheel and MAJORLY helps undo the damage he did. But you can't expect everyone to embrace him with open arms right away.
(Sorry about the last one. It was a dated reference to a bit in ellen's old stand up act where she referenced the notion that after coming out on her sitcom every time an event happened that had any gay overtones they would ask her for a comment as if she represented the "gay community".)
But back on topic - i have plans to "embrace him with open arms in the near future" or the distant future or in the potential future of all earthly existence. This man's actions are reprehensible and unforgivable. This is not the story of a closeted undiscovered sexuality, this is the case of a man taking millions in salary while still having gay sex but just not getting that his job was screwing us while he was getting screwed.
Judy Garland.....not the singer
30 reds and a bottle of vodka
now the other 30 million of us call ourselves queer....so as not to be associated with Kenny
I'm QUEER,,,,,to be specific I"M QUEER AS F*CK