Poll: 37% of Americans Unable to Locate America on Map of America
Editor's note: This post is a satire.
Washington, D.C. -- According to a Gallup/Harris poll released Monday, a full 37 percent of American citizens are incapable of identifying their home country on a map of the United States.
Of the 1,400 residents surveyed, the most common incorrect responses placed the more than 230-year-old territory in the Atlantic or Pacific Oceans (19 percent), the space where Mexico would appear were it in fact included on the map (10 percent), and inside the word "America" written just above the northernmost states (6 percent).
"On the whole, these figures should be construed as somewhat disappointing," Gallup spokesman Keith Ventner said. "Especially the two percent that believed the United States was located on the map's color-coded inset legend. I think we as a nation likely could have done without seeing that."
When asked to reveal the identity of the giant America-shaped landmass found on the map, several of those polled were decidedly varied in their answers.
"That thing definitely looked familiar," said autoworker and father of three Ed McConnell. "And my gut told me there were probably a whole bunch of Americans there. So I had to go with 'Iraq.'"
Other guesses as to the nature of the mystery country included "Hollywood," "Palestine," "The Shire," and "Club Med Punta Cana."
The map used in the poll, with erroneous America locations in red
Stuart Weiss, senior sociology professor at Boston College, said although these findings may be surprising to some, they're by no means atypical.
"The sentiment of many Americans is that there's little intrinsic value in studying a map of a place you're already at," noted Weiss. "It'd be like driving to Graceland and then asking for directions once you've arrived. Not much point."
Shirley Matheson, a part-time Arby's employee residing in Dayton, Ohio, agreed with Weiss's assessment. "I live in the U.S.A., so why would I need to know where America is? Or the United States for that matter?"
Added Matheson: "As long as there's still room on that map for all three of those countries, I'm sure everyone will keep getting along just fine."
Meanwhile, the Department of Homeland Security sees the Gallup/Harris poll results as a blessing in disguise. According to Secretary Michael Chertoff, the nation would be better off if these numbers skewed even higher.
"Personally, I believe if fewer people in this world could spot America on a map, we'd have a much better chance of avoiding national tragedies like 9/11," said Chertoff. "You can't attack a country you can't find."
Of the respondents actually capable of pinpointing America on the map of America, their accuracy decreased considerably with each additional query about the country. Asked for the name of the U.S. capital, those polled placed Washington, D.C., fifth behind "Minneapolis-St. Paul," "Mount Rushmore," "America City," and "Whitewater."
Despite Americans' seemingly underdeveloped sense of their own geography, history and domestic policy, they did score high points on the issue of patriotism, calling America "the greatest country in the world" (47 percent), "the best state of all the Unites States" (31 percent), and "a place to definitely explore when I finally get my passport" (22 percent).
Steven Shehori is an award-winning comedy writer. And Canadian. He claims he can find America on a map.
Loading comments…
Want to reply to a comment? Hint: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to
But Steven, here's the deal: I personally believe the U.S. Americans are unable to do so because, uh, Osama...people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh, I believe that our education like such as South Africa and, uh, the Iraq everywhere like, such as and...I believe that they should, our education over here in the U.S. should help the U.S., err, uh, should help South Africa and should help the Iraq and the Asian countries, so we will be able to build up our future for our...
Now THAT is funny!
Miss Teen South Carolina ftw.
Scary that Sarah Palin reminded me of her everytime she opened her mouth.
Palin's speech writer WAS Miss South Carolina.
Irwin Corey lives!
Note: this comment is a personal opinion.
Americans can't find America on a map? What kind of education is anyone getting anymore? I can't believe this, it's .... oh, a satire, nevermind. I am so glad articles such as this indicate right up front that it is a "satire"; what with the line between BS and truth being almost nonexistent anymore - that lies can be iced over as mis-remembering and served up to the public for consumption - who can tell? Anyhow, I hope future pieces will likewise include an up front indicator of their bent - "this is serious", "this article may be upsetting", "this article stretches the boundaries of plausibility", "we don't know whether there's any basis in fact to this article", and so forth. Thanks.
I share your personal opinion. I read this seriously for the first few minutes. Goes to show what happens when I'm half paying attention as I eat my lunch. And going back now, i completely missed the one line at the top: Editor's note: This post is a satire.
I see it's now marked as satire, but it wasn't when I first read it. I'm glad it was, but I'm a little bothered by the fact the the people who don't know where America is located are an "autoworker" and a "part-time Arby's employee". Are you trying to insult blue-collar workers?
Well of course he is...
THIS post may be satirical, but, just wondering aloud: what percentage of Americans don't know the difference between the words "THEN" and "THAN". Over 25% would be my guess from what I see in print.
Don't forget "there", "they're" and "their". Or "to" and "too". Or my personal favorite, "affect" and "effect". Not to mention those who use an apostrophe when pluralizing a word (as in "there are so many car's on the highway").
The level of this type of incompetence even among high school graduates is astounding.
Or my favorite... "your" and "you're"...
Or can't pronounce "NUCLEAR." Uh . . . that would be our current prez, wouldn't it?
How many smug people really think that is important. Why don't you start a crusade and make sure everyone knows the difference. Why do people alwasy want to make others feel small and inferior over such arbitrary BS. Wake up.
So you feel the tools we use to communicate are "arbitrary BS"??? Have you alwasy felt this way?
I am an admitted grammar Nazi.
Here are some of my favorites that I have run across (some several times a day):
women (woman)
weather (whether)
habbit (habit)
suppouse (suppose)
been (being)
commity (committee)
disches (dishes)
coard (cord)
wair (wear)
The difference between 'than' and 'then' is arbitrary? Wow.
Should be "more than 25%," as "over" does not relate to numbers but instead indicates a position, i.e., "I am holding my hand over an open flame and man, does it hurt."
Hahaha. Americacity, and thinking America is in the legend made me laugh out loud. Fantastic!
Guys, read the first line of the article: "Editor's note: This post is a satire."
LOL, even if they missed the disclaimer ... a "Gallup/Harris poll"??
what is sad is how few of the people posting comments missed the part (at the VERY TOP OF THE ARTICLE) informing the reader that this post is satirical....
At first read, this seems impossible. Then, I think about the 2000 and more importantly, the 2004 election and it all seems more possible. America is "dumbing down". We get ignorant people who are so easily mislead to vote for a illegitimate President and who almost take pride in thier political ignorance. They excuse their failings by saying all politicians are crooked, but they are looking for a way of removing themselves from the complicated considerations of a candidate or party. I believe this is why they supportively attach themselves to a minor political issue, even though the political party will do them and/or the nation harm. It's easy to rule out a cnadidate on one issue, then you don't have to weigh all the other issues. Yes, intellectual laziness. It's embarrassing people can't indentify the US on a map...where is our nation going? I think civics, geography, history other basic course have to be reintroduced into schools.
This is sad, so sad. I too find it hard to believe. My 4th and 6th graders can find the US on a map...surely this is not true. If it is true, it might somewhat explain 8 years of Bush!
50% of all Huff readers fail to notice this article is satire. (Thank God it's Satire)
The first time I read "The Onion" (Sophmore year in High School) The friend who handed it to me didn't tell me it was a joke newspaper. I was HORRIFIED! Haha - Boy did I feel retarded ;)
This must be a joke. I find it very hard to believe that anyone who is beyond the sixth grade doesn't immediately recognize the outline of America. This is simply unbelieveable.
The sad thing about this piece is most of the readers aren't sure if it's satire or not. We all recognize that the populace of this country has been "dumbed" down over the years and so many people don't know basic geography or history (particularly American history) Sarah P a l i n allegedly not knowing that Africa was a continent is a good example of this phenomenon. I'm sure Mr. Shehori's piece was written in jest (maybe??) but my goodness, hasn't it provoked thought? Thanks for a great piece Steven.
Surely this is from Onion.
Perhaps the most disturbing thing is that we had a Republican presidential candidate who thought Spain was in Latin America and a Republican VP candidate who thought Africa was a country. ... The 37% of Americans who couldn't place America on a map can be dismissed as insignificant. This cannot.
igorz i'm a liberal obama supporter like you. but i think the new york times was involved in the "can't recognize africa" story and later said it was misinterpreted. similarly, the MSNBC propagated story about receiving consultants dressed in a towel has been denied by the consultants. but nobody argues with her lack of backround knowledge for high office.
what is really happening here is the change in how information is perceived. bourgeois students always thought that proffering information on demand was a good thing for which one is rewarded. of course that's from the universal classroom reflex of raising your hand and answering questions.
in today's culture, however, information is a valuable commodity- including the information about what you yourself know, as well as information itself. people who mislead teachers and pollsters about what they know are implicitly questioning their right to gratuitously demand information as per the bourgeois convention of 'information disclosure = reward'. noncompliance with knowledge behaviorism is rebellion- not ignorance.
Most likely the majority of the 37 % is a GOP supporter!
I guess that gets Sara palin off the hook for believing Africa is a country.
You must be logged in to comment. Log in or connect with
