How you doin'? I'm _______ the _______.
You may have heard the candidates mentioning Joe the Plumber on their various stumps, making that guy a household word and whatever. A hero to some and an instant punch line to others. Sure, he's lost his privacy and whatever integrity he may have had before he became Joe the Plumber, back when he was only Samuel the Not Yet the Plumber, but since when does anyone need privacy or integrity if they're gonna be famous? He's probably gonna end up with a lucrative coloring book deal and his own show on HGTV or Spike or something.
If you ask me, he should change his name from Joe the Plumber to Lucky the Bastard.
But don't get me wrong: he was smart enough to stick his smacked-ass of a face in front of Obama's strategically positioned cameras at the right moment, just when America was looking for a leader such as he. Joe, I salute your initiative and verve. Kudos and balls, my friend, kudos and balls.
So what does that make me, Chop the Liver? I'm all for plumbing but it ain't like it's the number one thing you need in order to live your life. I mean, if you have to answer Nature's Call, just drop your waders or hike your skirt and bombs away. That's what I do. Hands dirty? Hock-pitooey, give 'em a rub, ready to go.
Sorry, Joe the Plumber. This guy's doing fine without your handout.
Just because you're a big muckety-muck doesn't mean your poop doesn't stink. And it hadn't oughta anyway unless you've been eating that caviar and drinking those lattes and when you answer Nature's Call there's a hank of hair clogging the drain or whatever. I don't care, you're a plumber, just fix the damn thing.
And say, I'm as authentic as Joe the Plumber any day. In fact, I think I'm realer. And also I'm realer than all those other men and ladies the candidates keep mentioning in their speeches. That's right. I'm realer than John the Lawyer, Bill the Pipe Fitter, Flo the Waitress, Dave the Astronaut, Kyle the McLaughlin, Trini the Caddy, Elvira the Landlord, Tess the D'urbervilles, Mickey the Mantle, Hank the Angry Drunken Dwarf, Greta the Dominatrix, Larry the Cable Guy's Assistant, Puff the Magic Dragon, Ed the Begley, Jr.---you name 'em, I'm realer. Why aren't I on everyone's lips? Aren't I worthy? What's with the elitism, Joe?
I could be a spokesman for the everyguy and I wouldn't be controversial like Joe the Plumber, believe me. I mean, sure, like him I don't pay any taxes but that's because I've been unemployed for years and live at home with my mother and my stepfather, Gilbert the Lazy Cough Medicine Swilling Fuckface.
And yeah I didn't graduate high school 'cause, I mean like, what the hell for? Why study when a guy can rise from obscurity like Joe the Plumber and live the American Dream? That's why I'm devoting my time here today, doing what comes naturally to all real Americans: selling myself to the highest bidder.
So, to all you Betty the X-Ray Technicians and Chuck the Latvian Bail Bondsmans and Genevieve the Cat Neuterers and Ted the Bundies and all you other potential regular guys and gals who just want a fair shake in today's world: drop the dead 'cause I was here first. Well, first after Joe the Plumber, my hero. And yours.
I didn't think there was another noun, adjective or expletive that could possibly express how Jank the Pranker, has, with his brand of logic and reason, tested my sanity.
Thank you for helping me out and letting me know I'm not alone.
Someone else really thinks there really are more realer people. And...
You really helped me to fill in the blanks, so little ol' me could become Happy the Realist...Love it!
Well said and enjoyable!
Joe the plumber must be independently wealthy, he is all over the place and must drive a 4 Wheel Drive SUV ga$ guzzler. How is he going to buy the business when he doesn't work?
Oh, don't tell us that McCain has him on a retainer...since about Sept. 08? Took a while to "school" him, but didn't have time to really do a good job. "Um, I guess I'm gonna agree with you on that "Isreal"-- planted statement. Stumble stumble. Gee Joe, that isn't how they told you to say "damn right I am with you on that one boy oh boy."
Sarah says she loves Joe The Plumber, the skinhead reminds her of her white power buddies.
Sarah and Joe 2012!!! Republican regression, always a real hit.
I found a job opening for you.
AirForceVet/Vietnam
Steven you were great on Steph this morning too!
Monte The Gay
Go figger
1. Run for Congress -- check
2. Ambassador of goodwill -- check
3. Provocateur -- check
4. High-profile John McCain surrogate -- double check
All this from "Joe the Poser" trying out an idea for his reality show, "Bait the Candidate". It didn't work with Obama, but he sure reeled in McCain!
Obama/Biden
The real problem here is not so much Joe the Plumber; it is the fact that our silly society is paying this nobody sooo much undeserved attention. News flash!: Unfortunately, we live in a celebrity culture. Who cares who this character is (says me, after wasting 15 minutes reading this blog and posting my own reply)?
Great LOL, newworldman777!
He's a plumber... except he isn't. But he calls himsel a plumber just the same.
He's voting for McCain b/c Obama's tax plan will hurt him... except it won't, which Joe's grudgingly admitted, but he's voting for McCain just the same.
He's voting for McCain b/c Obama is no friend to Israel... except he can't cite anything Obama has said or done to indicate he's no friend to Israel. In fact, it's just the opposite... but he's voting for McCain just the same.
He's voting for McCain b/c he's against socialism... except Obama's policies aren't socialist, which Joe's grudgingly admitted, but he's voting for McCain just the same.
In short, Joe t. Plumber doesn't know why he's voting for McCain. No clue. But he's voting for McCain just the Same.