12/16/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Crime of the Century

While everyone's parsing the details of the collapsing markets, mulling over the multiple choice options to save drowning companies and otherwise pondering the whys and wherefores of the global shitstorm that has galloped onto the scene (with Sarah Palin in the saddle. I just can't quit her.) heralding the Neo-Con Apocalypse, nobody seems to be acknowledging what even an average moron such as myself -- okay, above average -- can see plain as day: the greatest crime of all time is in progress.

Call 911®. Hell, CSI: America!

It began at approximately January of 2001 and has continued unabated. Where are the cops who, like their counterparts on TV, are able to piece together the string of molecular, dynamically animated clues until the entire case is solved? We start with a bloody body on the floor. It has a white beard, wears a red white and blue top hat. His once fierce eyes are now yellowed and rolled up into his head. Fleck of froth on his collagened lip. Clearly murder.

And yet the legion of pundits and know-it-alls are scat-singing as though their jobs depended on it, which they do.

That's accessory after the fact.


Aiding and abetting.

The bailout isn't working. That's true as far as bailouts are concerned. But as a super-scam and colossal rip off it's functioning with the precision of a Swiss time piece.

And the war(s) has lost its sex appeal, which is just the kind of collateral effect the profiteers never counted on but welcome just the same. In fact, give it deeper darkness. Money is not made in the light (Where have you gone George Bernard Shaw? Our nation turns its low I.Q. to you. Woo woo woo.).

Even my favorite show -- NPR's Left, Right and Center -- causes the muscles in my rolling eyes to palsy as I listen to my beloved quartet of experts talk as though the intent behind the Bush programs which have disintegrated into failed heaps of spent cash were actually created with good intentions.

Bull cakes.

It's The Hot Rock with ugly, evil people ripping off the middle-class instead of Redford and Siegel gleefully scamming plutocrats. It's The Great Train Robbery with dweeby accountants with black hearts and big libidos! It's Escape From Alcatraz with carpetbaggers from New England posing as shitkickers from Texas and getting away red-handed! It's all those and way, way worse. They've brought down and broken the government the way a truckload of fertilizer, nitromethane and Tovex brought down the federal building in Oklahoma.

Has anything BushCo's ever done benefitted the people or the country? Just admit it: we've been robbed, beaten and stabbed.

Here you go, Detective Obama. Just the facts.