Debating With the Stars!
And next up, a clever skit we like to call The Biden-Palin Debate!
He's a crusty but benign, crafty but loquacious Washington vet who's seen his share of triumph and tragedy; she's the spunky Alaskan spark plug who's ignited the belch and buckshot crowd with her folksy, no-muss approach to runnin' things and her belief that Adam walked with Tyrannosaurus Rex. Something for everybody!
While technically speaking the McCain-Obama debate was in many respects a tie (mostly in that both candidates pretty much stayed on script) it is of course clear as crystal which one has leadership skills and which one wears a truss. Even at his age, Ronald Reagan probably never sat on his balls while in the Oval Office, as every morning Mommy carefully wrapped them in downy, cotton batting and then secured them with good, old, made-in-the-USA duct tape to his tender inner thigh. At least that's what I assume, given the dearth of information on the subject. I tried Googling it and my search turned up -17, which is possible given the polydimensional characteristics of the internet. What time is it? Also, I taste pennies...
McCain, who proved (along with most busty weather girls and many sitcom actors) that he can ably hit marks and handle memorized bullet points while in front of a stationary camera, nonetheless acted in the weeks which led up to the debate like a chicken without a head, feet, thighs and Pope's Nose. Back and forth, to and fro Maverick clucked, pecking at his own reflection in passing hub caps and crowing dyspepsia when anyone stopped to listen. And yet, people still remain undecided. They must like their chicken nutty.
Much the same can be anticipated with Madame Governor as she pounds her podium this Thursday evening, certain to strike a chord in all who see in her their own hopes and dreams: mostly, hopes of changing the name of America to Christopia and dreams of the perfect Chex-Mix recipe to be distributed to all of those poor brownish colored people one sometimes sees from their car. She has her detractors who say that she is yet another cynical ploy to win an election without regard to thereafter governing, something the Repunzels (I'm running out of derisive monikers that sound like "Republican." Any suggestions will be entertained) have down to an art. She also has her fans, guys who respond to her pulchritude like drugged lab rats and dunderheaded women who can't look past Palin's gender to see her other disqualifying traits, like she's a dolt. If being a woman was all it took to engender unflinching loyalty, why not have one with actual political experience, like Eva Braun or Madame Nhu? That they've been dead for some time should only be a speed bump on the way to shattering that glass ceiling, ladies!
Joe Biden may have his hands full with this Every Gal. He can't use his superior intellect and experience against her lest he come across as a meany-bucket. He can't patronize her or kill her with kindness because Todd might think the Senator's flirting with her and beat the hair plugs off him. No, he's got to play this just right. When the Repustules' successful strategy has been to set the bar so low that even krill would be pissed off if they inferred that anyone thought them unqualified to be elected to high office (see George W. Bush, 2000), one must tread carefully.
But in a world (Don LaFontaine, where are you when we need you?) where memories are short, attention spans are shorter and loyalty is determined by the most recently invoked knee-jerk response, you can bet that this next debate will be a humdinger of a show. And with apologies to genius writer David Lloyd: "A little song, a little dance, a little Hurricane Katrina, Iraq and the worst economic collapse since the Depression down your pants!" See you Thursday!
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While reading this article, my panty-place involuted. Various bodily fluids streamed out of every orifice due to the paroxysms of laughter involuntarily wracking my bod.
Thanks, Steven. Now I have to go do laundry. And sponge myself.
The Recraplicans are an endless source of amusement, aren't they?
Thanks Sarah Palin for my new most favoritest word in the whole world, gosh dangity doggone darnit!
"Nucular"ly yours,
Alatheia Eunomia
I hope that BIDEN drives Palin into the ground, intellectually and practically speaking for the debate.
She is a rather daft, SHILL. She is an extremist NEOCON in the "least".
I have a feeling that they are going to try to back out of the debate because they just found out that the moderator Gwen Ifel (who is wonderful) wrote a book about Obama she has not released yet. They will say she is biased and trying to increase sales before her book is released. Wait and see. I read this on drudge report this morning. I knew they would try to find a way out because apparently she did so horribly during mock debates they brought her to Arizona and brought new people, very aggressive people in to train her. She isn't qualified, that is the main point. She is not a deep thinker, educated or up to date on serious national and world issues. You cannot teach all of this in a week.
A black female journalist from PBS biased for Obama? Just because she just penned a glowing book about him? Shocking, just shocking!
The book is not about Obama. The book traces the history of blacks and politics in the United States, and she started working on the book back when Hillary Clinton was the presumed favorite to get the Democratic nomination. The Obama chapter hasn't been written yet.
The held the Presidential debates in Mississippi. McCain overwhelmingly carries the State. Who do you think the moderator was voting for? Surely not Obama.
Regurgitants.
(or resurgeitants.)
Runamokicans
I see you make fun of Governor Palin's religion which I guess is fair game. How about that inflammatory racist reverend that Obama listened to for 20 years that he expediently walked away from when his rants were revealed to the public. Or Obama's "Community Organizing" mentor Saul Alinsky who dedicated one of his books to Satan. If Obama wins, will the last one out please grab the flag.
We have Gov. Palin being prayed over by a minister who uses the word, 'witchcraft' in his prayer. (Note - I was raised in a very charismatic, pentacostal church and I never once did I hear a one of my pastors who prayed over us a lot, use that word. We'd have thought he'd lost his marbles.)
We also have Palin on tape talking about the Iraq war being "... a task from God..." It's always amazing to me that it's AFTER THE FACT that these people realize where the task came from, and just as amazing - it happens to fall within their hawkish mindset. As Dana Carvey's 'Church Lady' used to say: 'How convenient!"
We have Rev. Wright delivering HIS sermons, but we have NOTHING actually from, or involving Sen. Obama regarding any of those comments. As for Saul Alinsky (who the heck is that, anyway?) writing a book about satanism - here again, this is something done by someone else - Obama has neither written any books on satanism, nor (as far as I know) endorsed Satan in any way.
You final statement ...' last one out grab the flag' - Maybe the first bezillion times this was said it was midly amusing. Now, it's just something you guys love to end a rant with. I guess it's sort of like, 'Thanks, and keep in touch.' Means nothing, but probably makes some insecure folks feel better.
I thought all libs knew Alinsky. Saul Alinsky was a radical communist agitator in Chicago and is considered the "Father of Community Orgainizing." (I still don't know what that is ). HIs son had this to say about Obama. in a Canadian newspaper:
“Barack Obama’s training in Chicago by the great community organizers is showing its effectiveness,” Alinsky Jr. wrote to the Globe. “It is an amazingly powerful format, and the method of my late father always works to get the message out and get the supporters on board. When executed meticulously and thoughtfully, it is a powerful strategy for initiating change and making it really happen. Obama learned his lesson well.
I'm betting you're a Daily KOS reader, an MSNBC fan, and love Keith Olberman.
Anyway...
1) The task from god bit. Go and see the ENTIRE interview, not just the clipped piece and note that she does not say it's a task from god. The complete quote was:
Pray for our military men and women who are striving to do what is right. Also for this country, that our leaders, our national leaders are sending them out on a task that is from God. That's what we have to make sure that we're praying for, that there is a plan and that that plan is God's plan."
This indicates that she hopes what they're doing would be in line with god. As for your chosing to use the edited version of Gibson's interview, "How convenient."
2) Relationships form perception. Long relationships form lasting perceptions. That's why it's pertinent. So you can form this for both sides, as religion, as both claim to be more than a bit religious, that a pastor can help mold a persons views on life and the world. So Obama's relationships with a racist (perceived or real) minister who attacks his own country, and a relationship with a satanist (perceived or otherwise) have a bearing on Obama.
My personal belief is that no matter who wins in November, we're all going to be losers in the endgame. Although I think Obama hasn't met very many tax bills he didn't like.
If America cannot see through the facade, or worse, does, and still wants another Bush-like "folksy" in the white house, then she deserves the outcome. Stupid is as stupid does.
I would suggest Senator Biden should come through with is best Jack Benny impersonation.
Jack was the master of the pregnant pause and the sllllooowwwww double take.
Let "Little Miss Perky Pitbull" pontificate.
Then, take it from there, Joe......
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B-Cl3-SUp_c
Republicana and Chex Mix, eatin' it up. Yum!
Brilliant ... who else could use the word "krill" so effectively?
Other than Joe throwing candy out on the stage and watch her break her neck lunging for it, I got nothing.
There hasn't been much to evoke a laugh in the last few days -- thanks, Steven, for putting some perspective on things. I haven't laughed that hard in a week!
I think "Repustules" is probably going to be my favorite for quite awhile. Thank you Steven for the insightful rant. I agree with ariadne4641 about the lack of knowledge some people seem to be guilty of. My aunt, who is tough as nails and whom I love dearly, loves Palin! I never thought that she would be a drinker of the kool aid. She thinks Palin's a "pistol". I've tried to talk her back from the dark side, so far no luck.
This election is proof that "The Simpsons" is actually a documentary.....
How about Reporklican? (Dual purpose for Republican male chauvinists or Republicans in the mold of Ted Stevens who run to the pork barrel again and again and again.)
In high school I lost a debate to pulchritude, but she was smart too.
It seems that Sarah is going to do well because she is smarter than a lot of Americans. We set the bar very low, and then we wonder why Bush is such a failure.
Obama is very smart, but he spends most of the time hiding it.
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