Duck!

Okay, people! Get your hazmat suits on, seal your cuffs with duct tape, tighten those goggle straps and get in your horse-stance: here comes the Elephant Shit!

The Republican't power junkies are rolling big, acrid, hay-prickled spheres down the congressional halls. They're caroming off the alabaster walls, hooking and spinning on the marble floors, smearing everyone and everything standing in the way, knocking truth and justice into a 7-10 split! Dick Weber's jaw is slack! Johnny Petraglia's gone weak in the knees! The Elephants are spewing again, once more counting on the unflinching, lemming-like fealty of those American Idiot Sleeper Cells to get good and scared, never doubt what their nefarious, double-deaaling leaders say and buy the snake oil, even though it's been eating away at their gizzards since 2000.

With their scary-ass chop-logic that turns truth inside out and shifts blame with a stunningly brazen lack of subtlety they have converted the nation's capitol into one gigantic cistern and, doodiful soldiers all, have begun the big flush. During this last meaningless/meaningful debate as to whether to send 21,000 troops to Iraq, the Republican't's fretted like children throwing tantrums when faced with certain discipline; a conniption of historic proportions, mewling and puking and kicking up all the botheration their little colic-ridden brains could muster. Wielding their favorite tool---deliberately using our fighting men and women as puppets and pawns to perpetuate their hold on power---the Repooplicans stated that a vote for the resolution would be the first step toward complete defunding, putting our men in the field in harm's way and sending a "cut and run" message that would have our enemies dancing and Osama slapping his dialysis machine in laughter (note the same thought process that extrapolates fornicating with dogs and goats from gay people having the legal right to marriage). A vote against the resolution would give our Commander in Chief the tools to spread democracy to those scimitar shaking Muslims and reassert the American Way in that crazy, mixed up part of the world (so that when Jesus finally comes back---you forgot about Him in this whole mess, didn't you?---He'll at least have a McDonald's to slake his thirst at before starting His surge). And even after years of underfunding, bad planning, murky objectives, obfuscation, arrogance---all during the watch of a completely empowered Republican congress and administration which proved it cannot govern competantly---this surge will right all that went "wrong." And all the while standing at their lecterns, the Republicons pass the congressional bedpan silently from party member to party member, taking their handfuls, molding and packing the putrid contents into a perfect, gooey orb and at the signal (cue Karl blowing his chrome-plated whistle) heave their lies aloft.

Elephant Shit, as well as fouling our hallowed institutions, traditions and credibility, also kills hope and corrodes this country's spirit. Foggy Bottom ain't foggy for nothing---it's enveloped in a shimmering, putrid mist that clings to everything Republican these days, emanating from the constant flow of money and greed and Neo-Con ideology washing down the funnels of our nation's capitol and sloshing onto the feet of every American. Duck, everyone! Here it comes!