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Steven Weber

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Empire of the Gnats

Posted: 08/18/11 09:04 AM ET

Quick, Henry. The Flit! (Google that, History of Advertising lovers)

The Right no longer has anything in common with angels and poets, heroes and saviors, if they ever did. They've instead found a more accessible kinship with the lower orders on nature's menu: decay, disinterest and destruction, stuff so basic it can be performed by a sleeping baby. Aiming high in all things low almost totally defines them and their sociopolitical aims; there's no tactic or concept too low for them, no resultant decay that's too putrid.

And such low hanging fruit and attracts a specific kind of patron.

Since they've clearly dispensed with classic conservative inspirations like Lincoln, Goldwater and even Reagan, the one they've most recently and triumphantly espoused is the apotheosis of low aiming, the epitome of pesteration.

It's the gnat.

That relentless, bothersome barely-something that dives and swarms mindlessly around anything which radiates the warmth of gently pulsing blood and causes even the most tolerant entomologist to throw his or her hands up in the bug-filled air and take a powder.

Leaving the newly conquered kingdom to the gnats.

And to the gnats, it's all about perception. Like a small, weedy guy who faces down a larger, more physically powerful opponent, a combination of supreme, almost unwarranted confidence and dirty, dirty, dirty fighting will inevitably unbalance and defeat the larger opponent.

So far has the modern conservative fallen from their well schooled predecessors that they would handily reject the just-this-side-sentient Ronald Reagan were he to reanimate and proffer some of "his" then-far right positions, which today's species would regard as being on a level with the evil machinations of a gay, Planned Parenthood physician.

They fly into your eyes, they natter you with nonsense, they tap-tap-tap their bastardized religions and bat-shit morality plays with the subtlety of a carpenter with St. Vitus' dance wielding a ball-peen hammer.

Facts and history mean nothing to the gnat. All that matters is eating, crapping and bugging the hell out of people -- life boiled down to the smallest of smalls. For the Republicans have offered the equivalent in the form of the base "No", the simplest of political platforms. Infinitely easier to support god, guns and gust; easier to decry science and education as elitist; easier to just plain bother and butt heads.

But really what choice do they have? They're just acting gnaturally.

 

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08:39 AM on 08/20/2011
We need a message. You realize we don't even have a message!?! I can't believe with all the brilliant, creative minds in this country that we don't have quick, clear sound-bites of our own to get through to the gnats. The reality is that many in our country do not read any further than a headline, that many vote strictly on their impressions of a candidate.
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The Smartest Monkees
Planet of the Apes? We're on it, baby!
08:35 PM on 08/18/2011
A superb comment, Steven! "Empire Of The Gnats" indeed!

My earlier post sleeps with the fishes, apparently. One must be careful when speaking of the gnat.

All I'll risk saying this time, is we liberals, each and everyone, must now man (and woman) our Flits! The gnat must not be allowed to reign as conqueror.
Splash yourselves with DEET (citronella for you naturalist), and it's into the swamps of ignorance and intolerance we go to do battle.

Ten-hut! Present Flits!

March!
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Querent
I just had to say that.
06:59 PM on 08/18/2011
Lincoln wasn't a conservative. He was president decades before conservatism was invented in American politics, which I think was sometime in the 1950's. Also, "pesteration" isn't a word in English. "Gust" is, but I'm not sure what it has to do with politics.
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SirReal1
07:43 PM on 08/18/2011
Modern American conservatism was largely born out of alliance between classical liberals and social conservatives in the late 19th and early 20th centuries.

Clark, B. (1998). Political economy: A comparative approach. Westport, CT: Praeger.

Contemporary American conservatism traces its heritage back to Anglo-Irish political philosopher Edmund Burke, who developed his views in response to the French Revolution.

Kirk, Russell, The Conservative Mind, p. 6.

US President Abraham Lincoln wrote that conservatism is "the adherence to the old and tried, against the new and untried."

Kirk, Russell, The Conservative Mind, p. 8.

Pesteration:

http://books.google.com/books?id=AnBXAAAAYAAJ&pg=PA743&lpg=PA743&dq=pesteration&source=bl&ots=zXGVnDvAr_&sig=snsixzWQIRzkVEsOfpdDXbrngOQ&hl=en&ei=0qBNTr_8CYrWiAKAkaSlAQ&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CBoQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q=pesteration&f=false

Gust:

2. a sudden rush of smoke, sound, etc.
3. an outburst of emotion

Just trying to help.
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Querent
I just had to say that.
07:54 PM on 08/18/2011
Conservatives try to "trace their heritage" back to God, too. Doesn't mean there's any truth in it.
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Steven Weber
Winner of 1967 Pond's Cold Cream Man of the Year
05:48 AM on 08/19/2011
I did make up "pesteration" or am at least unaware that it is a legitimate word. Creativity may not be patriotic...but it's certainly funnilating!
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Denis Higgins
06:31 AM on 08/19/2011
I just may have to refudiate that assessment, Stephen!
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The Smartest Monkees
Planet of the Apes? We're on it, baby!
12:46 PM on 08/19/2011
"Funnilating." I love that word! And it sounds like it could be referring to more than just everyday-type fun, but that's probably my warped mind. :-)

Love your creativity, Steven, along with your wit, talent, good heart and liberal soul. Don't ever let the know-nothing critics getcha down.
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Social Construct
Go left, young man.
05:51 PM on 08/18/2011
Boy, do ever agree! Too many without the sense of politics, economics, governance that any deity gave a .... well, gave a something, anything, with the least bit of intellect, tolerance or anything else that used to be, even for the right, American values.
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SirReal1
07:44 PM on 08/18/2011
Glad to see you re-thought your decision. Welcome back.
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Social Construct
Go left, young man.
07:56 PM on 08/18/2011
Thanks. Yes, I did cave on my conviction, but Mr. Weber's stuff is just so dang appealing; both on a populist and personal level. An "everyman" of liberal writing.
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mech126
I believe government works, if you let it.....
04:21 PM on 08/18/2011
No truer words have been spoken for a long time.......
12:35 PM on 08/18/2011
Ahh, the Hollywood Left. All the political perception of the lady who couldn't understand how Roosevelt got elected since no one she knew voted for him. A polemic set at about the level of third grade note passing.
itolduso
lateral thinker
01:55 PM on 08/18/2011
Ahh, the Southern Right. All the political perception of a tempest in a tea pot .... can't understand why winning 51% of only ten percent of all eligible votes doesn't constitute a 'mandate'
02:31 PM on 08/18/2011
I think you are thinking laterally-- and incomprehensibly.
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SirReal1
04:19 PM on 08/18/2011
An interesting choice of metaphor. Whether you are speaking of Teddy, of Bull Moose fame, or Franklin D., both Roosevelts are noted for being exemplary for proposing BIG, BOLD ideas in the midst of crisis. The "lady", would presumably represent the kind of "small thinking" engendered by living in a closed social circle, coming into contact only with those whose opinions and attitudes aligned with her own.

Somehow that doesn't bring to mind the "Hollywood Left" so much as it does another group engaged in the current political discourse.
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triplettam
Mind Bender
12:34 PM on 08/18/2011
Yeah, except when they swarm . . . they really are a pain. Can drive you from the picnic grounds. Terrible thing to aspire to: being a gnat. But they're good at it. Held the picnic ground hostage and got a lot of what they wanted. The only question is what are the higher order vertebrates going to do about them? That's the question.
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JohnLorenzo
Examine the reasons of your true intent.
09:15 PM on 08/18/2011
triplettam – Ha! very well said!
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triplettam
Mind Bender
01:38 AM on 08/19/2011
Thanks. anna was here for a second, but she didn't make the cut. Steven doesn't control anything anymore. It's just up to us old timers to hold the line. Good to see you my friend.
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The Smartest Monkees
Planet of the Apes? We're on it, baby!
12:54 PM on 08/19/2011
Thank you, triplettam. I hear they intend to "swarm" into DC this Fall to try to influence the "Super Congress." The "higher order verebrates" had better bring their Flits in large numbers, and disrupt the gnat's picnic this time around.
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JohnLorenzo
Examine the reasons of your true intent.
12:10 PM on 08/18/2011
Further, gnats get what they selfishly want – food. With the conservatives it's more money at the expense of the majority of citizens. Personally, I do everything I can to rid gnats from my presence and force them outside and far away where they can do no harm. Say, somewhere on the other side of the hill on a pile of dung.
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Querent
I just had to say that.
08:28 PM on 08/18/2011
Hey, John! What do gnats eat, anyway? I have fruitflies around my house right now. They seem somewhat maladapted. They drown themselves in watermelon rinds.
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JohnLorenzo
Examine the reasons of your true intent.
09:13 PM on 08/18/2011
Hey Querent – well, I guess there are different types of gnats. I know that some like to pick on fruit (yes, that was intentional) and others I have seen buzzing around decaying animals and poo. It seems to me that, just as Steven points out how annoying the gnats can be, they are also disgusting little creatures that love to see things in decay!
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The Smartest Monkees
Planet of the Apes? We're on it, baby!
01:16 PM on 08/19/2011
Well said, John. Just saw The Daily Show's take on Fox News' whining about "class warfare" against the "downtrodden" rich in this country.

Did you know that 89% of the poor in this country own refrigerators??? And they have the gaul to ask the wealthy to pay more taxes, when they have "extravagances" like that.
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JohnLorenzo
Examine the reasons of your true intent.
02:45 PM on 08/19/2011
Smartest – I saw that on Jon Stewart too! The poor really are getting demanding. Refrigerators, no less! Keeping food at safe temperatures is a waste for the poor. Conservatives are so right, take all their money and refrigerators! Let them eat from garbage cans. That way, they won't live too long and take so much money from the mouths of the poor! ;-)
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JohnLorenzo
Examine the reasons of your true intent.
02:46 PM on 08/19/2011
Opps, "mouths of the rich!"
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Cleverboots
11:33 AM on 08/18/2011
Their raison d'etre , obstruction for it's own sake, has replaced civil discourse and the debate of real solutions has disappeared.
11:15 AM on 08/18/2011
Blah.
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laddieluv
Dogs are angels with paws.
10:57 AM on 08/18/2011
Nailed it, Steven. Yet again.

Always enjoy your thoughts.

And agree.
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triplettam
Mind Bender
12:35 PM on 08/18/2011
Hey you! Hi Maggie!
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laddieluv
Dogs are angels with paws.
05:55 PM on 08/18/2011
Hello, mon ami.

So nice to hear from a friend today.

Boy, do I need it. grins. Maggie thanks you, too.
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sunny123
so.....it's empty
10:48 AM on 08/18/2011
Great post! You really nailed it this time.
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lgillooly
10:40 AM on 08/18/2011
In order to manipulate the masses to protect the Plutocracy the plutocrats took over the message. In 1986 Reagan repealed the Fairness Doctrine. This devastating act opened the door for the take over of talk radio. No other media format reaches over 30 million people every day with the SAME message. After the national hosts like Rush, Hannity, Savage, Beck etc finish their propaganda to protect the plutocracy ALL of these stations have local parroting hosts repeat the message and interact via phone calls....thus solidifying the message. It is a tried and true recipe first utilized by Goebells.. He said (paraphrased) You can control a people anywhere at any time by doing 3 things
1, Always have an enemy (Govt, Obama, Muslims, gays etc)
2. Always be the Uber Patriot (see Tea Party)
3. Always have the means to saturate and repeat and repeat the message until it becomes the truth (SEE Talk radio and after 1996 Fox News)
Bill Clinton was the first Dem President after the repeal of the FD......I rest my case
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laddieluv
Dogs are angels with paws.
05:57 PM on 08/18/2011
#285

Kudos to you.
08:30 AM on 08/20/2011
Fanned. And the Democrats do nothing at all to counter the message. Nothing.
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Richard Genco
10:33 AM on 08/18/2011
Spoken like a true Hollywood liberal. This is the place that treats most right wing actors like gnats. Your guy "tingles" went after Palin's clothes and children. Now he is going after Perry's clothes. Talk about being a gnat. Now here is the geniuses in the WH deciding the real problem in this country is the "white people". Guess they have not been reading the news about the gangs lately. Oh, thats right, they are African Americans. http://www.infowars.com/big-sis-latest-terrorists-more-white-americans/
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laddieluv
Dogs are angels with paws.
05:58 PM on 08/18/2011
Med check. stat.
09:55 AM on 08/18/2011
President Obama has taken on the mantle of conservatism at both home and abroad. The tea party republicans attack the rights of unions so the president lectures the unions telling them they must compromise. The theocrats attack the rights of women and Obama says nothing and continues to go to the prayer breakfasts sponsored by the right wing sect called the family. The Simpson-Bowles Commission wants to cut defense in a reasonable way and Obama says they went to far and that he would never accept such cuts. Corporate outsourcers push for more foreign tax havens and Obama pushes for more job killing free trade agreements that will give them what they want. Obama is the real conservative trying to follow in the footsteps of his idol Ronald Reagan.