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Steven Weber

Steven Weber

Posted: September 10, 2008 11:59 AM

Enter The Comeback Kid


Several years ago (when I had the connections) I went to the George Foreman- Michael Moorer fight in Las Vegas. The conventional wisdom was that George would basically lose to the younger, arguably cagier Moorer and for 9 rounds that's what was happening. Everyone in the crowd pretty much resigned themselves to seeing George---who was well past his prime---get beat.

And then the unthinkable happened: a looping, log-like left arm came out of the fog (the one that had formed in my Bullshot-addled brain) and flattened Moorer to the utter shock of the throng.

We all went nuts. Strangers hugged strangers. Friends felt-up friends. Everyone had witnessed that rarest phenomenon of the predominant wish of the crowd actually being fulfilled. The rest is history: that night I lost big at Roulette, Blackjack, the slots, Keno and rock-paper-scissors.

What the hell am I getting at? Something like this: it's late in the fight and the momentum seems to be swinging the other way (which way I peak of is obvious if you're reading this) but a "surprise" knockout blow is very possible. McPalin seems (if one trusts polls showing your side losing, which one never should) to have the edge, the addition of Faked Alaska to the menu having given Maverick McCoot a much needed bump and put fire in the already swollen bellies of Republicans. But Obama's campaign has been shrewdly run from the get-go and judging by the hail-mary of a VP choice the Reshmucklicans were plenty desperate. Gambles (except for my own that fruitless night in Vegas) sometimes pay off and their's is---for the moment.

But there may be a looping left coming out of the fog (the one the media's generated) and it's name is Hillary Clinton.

There's no telling whether if Hillary'd been on the Obama ticket that McCain's garish gambit would not have occurred; it was really the only thing they could ever do, since running on the Bush record would have been like offering up regurgitated manure. And it still would probably have been as effective as it has been given many people's pathological dislike of Hillary Clinton. The contrast would have been a fascinating taste test to observe and would have functioned as a perfect diversion, almost as cruelly effective as it is now.

But even after the rancor and bruised egos of the Obama-Clinton apache it now seems imperative to pull out a bazooka when the Reps have all but emptied their AK's. Hillary is that bazooka; she could respond swiftly and succinctly to the mockery of the quasi-feminist, party mix-serving, scrunchy-wearing character assassin that has so captured people's imagination with her---and I am dry heaving here---impressive teleprompter reading. Hillary's real experience, her real education, her real talent for crafting legislation, her real understanding of how the world works, her actual sympathy for a multitude of causes that effect real people (her proclivities as a professional politician notwithstanding, of course) would trump Palin's hollow showroom dummy appeal, helping people to finally reckon with the truth as opposed to continue living in the deteriorating fantasy of Republican neo-con perfection: a world of perpetual profit and cultural division, a replay of the feudal days of insane opulence and fatal poverty, and all under the rippling flag of America® (made in Taiwan).

So, in these (finally) waning days of the campaign to win the country back from 8 years of right-wing hijinks and highjacks, it might be time to ask not what the country will do for Hillary but to ask Hillary what she will do for her country. October surprise, anyone?