Congress to wear corporate sponsorships on clothing ("Redman", "Exxon" and "Pfizer" seen on senator's and congressmen's flame retardant jumpsuits).
"So You Wanna Run Fer Office!" hits number 2 in ratings for eleventh straight month.
Sarah Palin sells own eggs on QVC ("They're just as pristine as can be!").
Recently formed country of TexaKan launches premeditated manure strikes on San Francisco and "Jew" York.
Twelfth annual Viagra® Spunk-A-Thon raises 17 trillion dollars for male-skewed medical conditions.
Glenn Beck and wives form chain of pancake house/fertility clinics.
Jan Brewer's "Decapitater Tots" tries to replace french fries as number one side dish but fails due to utterly confusing promotion.
Rush Limbaugh to be interred in first ever hemmorrhoid-doughnut crypt.
"Official Officiator" Liza Minnelli performs mass pay-per-view wedding ceremony, raising the number of gay marriages over heterosexual unions by 2 to 1 in 15 minutes.
Preternaturally beautiful Huffington Post founder Arianna Huffington and still shockingly fit actor/blogger/mixologist/alpaca farmer Steven Weber announce birth of their fourth genetically modified vegetable-child.
Obama finally finishing fourth term in office passes torch to President Maddow; cuts titanium tether connecting TexaKans to mainland America (which promptly sinks to the bottom of the Gulf due to unregulated construction of Halliburton-supplied flotation devices); peace and prosperity reign for decades.
Follow Steven Weber on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@TheStevenWeber
Preternaturally beautiful Huffington Post founder Arianna Huffington and still shockingly fit actor/blogger/mixologist/alpaca farmer Steven Weber announce birth of their fourth genetically modified vegetable-child.
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If you wouldn't mind Steven, I gave AH a bobblefoot doll a couple years ago when she was in town. Please keep it up on the mantle, away from the housebroken alpacas, so that guests may continue to appreciate its historical significance regarding the non-verbal mating ritual exhibited by the species Senatorius Hypocriticus, subspecies of the Republicanus family.
http://wcco.com/politics/bobblefoot.larry.craig.2.730845.html
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sjGu8D64cuE
Warmest regards to you and the future missus,
- Tom
i love this post!
But, everything has a price.
Yay! President Maddow!
Obama's 4th term. I'm so haaappy. And Rush Limbaugh interred in a hemmorrhoid-doughnut crypt will make it Christmas every day in futureland. Who needs presents? I also like that Sarah Palin finally just ends up selling herself - literally - to the highest bidder and is at least, at last, honest about it (Sarah Palin honest. Shocking indeed.)
Fun article. :-) .
I expect what you're calling Palin eggs prove to be Palin clones, or perhaps more accurately, pods.
Surely the new country you referred to is the walled country of Aritexacan. It's a prison state that controls population size by executing liberals and jaywalkers.
Hmmm. No, I take that back. No argument is worth having to see Congress' underwear.
The point is all yours.
I assume that by this time, David Vitter will be a pimp, John Boehner will be used as a jack-o-lantern, and the south will have legalized slavery again. The non-whites will quickly flee the south, and the region's economy will sink, meaning that the pols down there can do nothing except spend all day mentioning Jesus (unless of course China sets up its factories there).