I F*cked the Sheriff
The spectacle of the media manipulating its wrung-out genitalia with one hand while wagging its finger at the object of its arousal with the other fully illustrates the command shallow salaciousness has over the news cycle. Once again suggesting that the defining characteristic of modern western culture is a slavering fascination with dirty sexy money, the fallen Guv'nor's exploits have caused the other departments of interest -- the election, Iraq, Iran, Al Qaeda, Osama, Halliburton, the economy, the world, Bush clearing brush -- to shut down, not unlike the Chrysler Group's cost-cutting, extended-holiday hiatus ("The economy is on the move..." assured W. He neglected to mention it's on the move to China, however.).
All humans like a good rogering now and then (discounting perhaps James Dobson or members of the Hale-Bopp cult) but to effect a course change of such extremity and obsession is both regrettable and revealing, the implication being that we will in no time soon extricate ourselves from the capitalisto-fascist mire in which we continue to slog, that we are too programmed to respond like glassy-eyed children to the candy dangled in front of our faces than to reject self-defeating fascinations that make our pee-pees tingle. Enlightenment and progress require discipline, and not the kind meted out by a dominatrix in a patent leather truss. Rejecting the juvenilia passing for cultural events, whether they be high level trysts between prostitutes and brash balding crime fighters or mass adoration/consumption of the latest overpriced, soon-to-be-obsolete super-sexy cell phone/camera/ defibrillator/MP3 player/speculum presents the greatest challenge to a nation which still harbors vague memories of its evolution of character, from its struggle for independence to the hard fought and humble wisdom that gave us the dignified and progressive legislation of the New Deal and the Great Society.
If we really believe in our relevance as a nation, if we believe in the strengths of an educated society and the importance of American values as the beacon of enlightenment in the world it once was, then the compulsion to engage in a 'round-the-clock media enabled circle jerk must be resisted.
And then, if you're really good and do what I say, Baby'll get a nice reward...
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I think the economy is about to show us we came early.
The media uses words like "many people", "most people", "the public" in ways that bludgeon us into accepting our role/identity as members of some kind of blobby mass. Intellectually we realize we have alternate identities, when we are separate, but sometimes our separateness needs more powerful support. So just think about how Howard Stern's book sold more than any other book in printed history, and how that fact so fails to represent the nature of the "us". We're all jerked around by any group amongst us who mobilize and act with solidarity, as a unit. We need a leader who is just there to build support for us in our independence, perhaps someone who can make a declaration of some kind. What am I thinking, it'll never happen.
I love a man his thesaurus.
Steve: I couldn't get beyond the title of your article. Please. Arianna, get this guy a hooker or something.
He needs some attention.
Did you also f*ck the deputy?
No, they made Steve a sandwich.
You are a good actor and a sexy guy, but why do you think a dense layer of mixed metaphors and SAT words makes for good prose?
Think of it as a hybrid, Prosestry.
"Poesy" the poetic essay. rhymes with "fantasy"
Best. Title. Ever.
Steven, as always, brilliant post...
And informative.
I hadn't heard that there's a new and improved, fancy/shmancy speculum out there???... (and apparently, neither has my ob/gyn)!... Obviously, we're not paying attention...So, where do I/they get one?!?!?
Dude, you're a very good writer. You don't need the thesauras.
See Steven Weber's Profile
Dear Dude: You're right. I should use "like" and "you know" more.
Hey, wait. It's, like, you're forgetting "I mean" and "know what I mean," you know?
The "media" is all Weapons of Mass Distraction to keep you off the REAL issues. Such as:
1. Our military is being used and worn out in a shell game they call a "War", but whose goal is actually destabilizing Iraq for as long as possible.
2. The administration could help bail out Bear Stearns, but not the millions who got screwed with teaser rate loan qualifying into purchasing overvalued RE which they could not afford.
3. The Congress passed the Bankruptcy Act which by and large reinstates indentured servitude.
4. The Congress passed legislation trashing Habeus Corpus, the right to appear before a judge contesting your detainment, and Posse Comitatus, the prohibition of a national police force directed by the federal government.
I could go on but I'm becoming nauseous.
Yes. I do want to get laid.
If you want news from your TV set, try these:
LINK TV
DOCUMENTARY TV
SUNDANCE
FREE SPEECH TV
CSPAN
CURRENT
INDEPENDENT FILM CHANNEL
If you're looking for comedy......CNN, FOX, MSNBC.
Although lately it hasn't been very funny.
America will never be healthy emotionally as long as its citizens hold steadfast to the belief that it was ever a "beacon of enlightenment" or that its values are somehow superior to others'. Its relevance in the world became one of imperial bullying upon its very foundation. Champion the cause of liberty, but don't lay claim to it. Patriotism is for fools. Otherwise, good post.
There are so many wonderful things to do EXCEPT watch that frigging idiot box! Try some of them!
like listen to npr? all i heard last night on npr was more of this spitzer story. i tried npr this morning and got a first hand papparazi account into the life of britney spears.
the 'idiot box' bit is getting old. i agree that too much tv is a bad thing, but the whole "kill your t.v." bumpersticker crowd is somewhat hypocritical.
take for instance you- you talk about all the wonderful things to do in life, yet you are typing into a blank screen on the freakin internet. sounds like you have it all figured out.
A little something from George Carlin on this very topic. Don't watch with your kids around. It is George Carlin, after all.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMqJvhmD5Yg
Thanks, Doug! I've watched this Carlin HBO special at least three times and he defined the American Miasmic Failure better than anyone could expect. How DO 60 million idiots manage to defend their votes for the slug occupying the WH?
Meanwhile, HRC and McBraindead poo-poo the notion of change in government. Whether Obama, or any candidate, could actually affect change is debatable, but to dismiss the notion, out of hand, is indicative of a voter that does not have the intellectual capacity to reach for ideas that haven't been force-fed to them. That is where we stand right now. Two candidates who say that things are on the right track...just need a bit of tweaking. Another who says, hey, let's try something different, though he hasn't identified WHAT would be different.
Weber is echoing similar sentiments...give the populace more pabulum to chew on, distract them, disorient them, get them to believe that their vote will actually mean something, even though it's only more of the same.
George Carlin!
If you like Carlin or have him work on your campaign,
Do you Hate America?
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