It's a Love/Hate Thing

09/27/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

I love God.

But I hate government.

I love something that sounds like I wanted my father to be but is really much, much better and lives nowhere near me. I love something that has lots of rules for everyone but ones that I am allowed to break. I love something that requires no logic or facts but which I can profess unyielding faith in.

I hate something that I can touch and that can touch me. I hate something that I must immediately answer to if I screw up. I hate something that can turn against me if I turn against it. I hate that everyone can vote for things I might...hate.

I love money.

I hate people.

I love brute force.

I hate mercy.

I love being a Republican.

I hate you.