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Steven Weber

Steven Weber

Posted: March 1, 2011 06:48 PM

AP: Unprecedented Internet Demand to Replace Sheen with Stamos/Weber

In a move sure to make CBS executives sit up and take notice, a swell of "cyber-citizens" have called upon the Diamond Network to fill the gap left by the Charlie Sheen controversy with not one but TWO actors: Steven Weber and John Stamos.

Early reports indicate that if hired, the actors would in fact play ONE character: a cousin of Sheen's character who are Siamese twins joined at their mutually shared "taint."

CBS has so far officially denied the story; however, unnamed network sources have indicated that it is indeed a direction they and the show's creator Chuck Lorre might be interested in pursuing. "There's a demographic out there that likes that stuff," says the source.

Weber, best known for Wings and Studio 60 and the much more famous Stamos are actually good friends in real life and have no compunction about sharing a role and/or a taint.

Also, all of the above is purportedly based on a series of unsubstantiated rumors supposedly started by an unnamed source who may or may nor have access to The Huffington Post's backstage blogging area.

And also, what you just red may not even have been written by him. Did I say "him"? I meant "whomever".

And also, "red" was possibly purposely misspelled. I mean, I meant "read" but I was was in a rush. And I saw it but, you know, whatever.

Did I say "I"? I meant "whomever." Again.

 

Follow Steven Weber on Twitter: www.twitter.com/TheStevenWeber

 
 
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03:45 PM on 03/04/2011
A chimp could spout Two and Half Men's unfunny dialogue.
08:14 PM on 03/03/2011
Clearly no one reads this crap. Attached at the taint? Wow. In REAL news, John Stamos will be playing drums at Huntington Beach High School's Retrofest May 11-13!
12:23 AM on 03/07/2011
Wow. In the REAL universe - many people actually understand humor, and two comedic friends, more than their navel.
theepoxyman
Reaching point of diminishing returns in 3,2,1
09:44 PM on 03/02/2011
Also, all of the above is purportedly based on a series of unsubstantiated rumors supposedly started by an unnamed source who may or may nor have access to The Huffington Post's backstage blogging area

I am completely stumped. Who could this source have been?
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Denis Higgins
06:13 PM on 03/02/2011
Say it taint so!
03:33 PM on 03/02/2011
No.. I want Wings to come back and Charlie can be a long lost half brother... and a fellow pilot! Now THAT would be wacky!
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gemstone1000
A Cut Above
02:09 PM on 03/02/2011
I've always thought the success of the show had more to do with the subject matter and the writing than with Charlie Sheen's portrayal of the character. I think you would be the perfect replacement, Steven.
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Anna Nicole Dahmer
Lie like that & you won't go to heaven
12:12 PM on 03/02/2011
gawd, that sounds like my greatest fantasy. i've never watched 2 and a half men, but i wouldn't be able to take my eyes of of you two taint twins. just be sure to shave before applying the taint glue. i know this from experience.
theepoxyman
Reaching point of diminishing returns in 3,2,1
09:39 PM on 03/02/2011
That last line has caused an image in my head that I really would like to get rid of. It is worse than getting a song stuck in your head. Yuck.
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Anna Nicole Dahmer
Lie like that & you won't go to heaven
10:59 AM on 03/03/2011
mission accomplished.
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Dakotadem
11:03 AM on 03/02/2011
The character would, of course, be called "Cousin Oscar", as is written in stone for all new characters (not played by Heather Locklear) brought in to breath new life into a sad sitcom. I would actually watch if this occured. I'm getting pretty tired of the new Charlie Sheen Dhow that seems to be running 24/7 on every channel.
05:20 AM on 03/02/2011
Nobody else is gonna say it? .... Nobody??? .... OK, I'll say it then .......
" TAINT MISBEHAVIN' " ... starring Stamos / Weber.
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kapalabhati
Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu
11:27 AM on 03/06/2011
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
12:35 PM on 03/06/2011
Thank you , thank you,
Don't forget to tip your waitress!
(I'll be here all of 3 minutes)
03:14 AM on 03/02/2011
When they hire you, I want a percentage for coming up with the idea (you, as the replacement for Charlie) in the first place. Stamos has jumped the shark and was never that funny in the first place. You on the other hand, Steven, would rock that show!
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kahalaman
your content will resume shortly
12:25 AM on 03/02/2011
Charlie Sheen was semi brilliant playing a version of himself on the show, but Steven Weber would be the perfect replacement!

Nothing against Stamos, but his presence would only diffuse Weber's sardonic wit. Not kissing up to you Steven, just stating the obvious.
11:55 PM on 03/01/2011
Now I'm sure you've been called a sick puppy (that's cool), and - you could certainly do worse than John I suppose.

Has the wife 'red' this and did she say, 'Eeeeewwww"?
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kapalabhati
Lokah Samasta Sukhino Bhavantu
11:27 AM on 03/06/2011
Shouldn't your screen name be NoFactsJustTruthiness?
11:58 PM on 03/06/2011
The meta-character Colbert is given credit for first use of the word 'truthiness' in his very first show, and he occasionally drops out of character long enough to illustrate how a disagreeable behavior by this or that CONServative exactly fits that definition. However, Colbert's 'in character' satire since the very first season has far more often proclaimed that 'facts' have nothing to do with the 'truth', especially when he's interviewing guests, thus creating an accurate impression of absolutist religious CONServatives - ignoring facts for their faith, particularly when they're scientific in nature.

During that first season of the Colbert Report and the first year of HuffingtonPost I created this name as a tribute to him and the satire concept of his show, and not just the definition behind truthiness. OUR profiles here used to viewable by anyone. My profile has always stated I'm a pragmatist that abhors the absolutism of anyone placing their faith above anything so trivial as facts. I felt the show was so enlightening for many in that same regard and so in tune with my personal principles of logic, that I then made my profile and username a tribute to his work. I still see no reason whatsoever to change that original logic. FYI...
11:55 PM on 03/01/2011
I like the show very much, too bad it's canceled because of Charlie Sheen.

http://www.toonbee.com/story/panda/20110301/too-bad
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Denis Higgins
11:30 PM on 03/01/2011
Well that made about as much sense as one of Sheen's rants....well done,Steven! ;)
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DOGnIT
is constantly pending approval
09:19 PM on 03/01/2011
It's all about YOU isn't it Steven? (Oh how I wish it was though). What about poor Christina who was drunk in public and arrested for it. Are you up on the Star Spangled Banner? I imagine you could add a few verses and improve on it.