11/03/2008 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Live with Mike and Sarah!

Eye-raq. Eye-ran. Eye-am nauseous.

Eye see "Sarah in the Mornin'!"

Mike Huckabee is Fox's version of Regis. And now after last night's final audition, he's got his Kathie Lee in Sarah "Winky" Palin.

If ever there was a perky approximation of faux-MILF authority who could ably describe a wonky weather pattern or a stubborn traffic snarl, Ol' Vaseline-Teeth Palin could do it up nice and proper, you betcha by golly!

And if ever there was an indication how Pappy-Mac and his Femme Fa-talentless would govern this great land of ours, one need look no further than their whack-a-mole approach to their own campaign. "Hey, Maverick! There's a gaffe over there! An' over there! An' there's one over there in EYE-RAQ!!!" Oy.

Dan Quayle looks like Alistair Cooke compared to this most current excuse for a Republican construct who, like so many under the inauspicious aegis of BushCo has neither the qualifications nor the qualifications, nor even the qualifications for the job to which they are applying or will be appointed. And she's unqualified, to boot.

People's expectations are as broken as their government thanks to leaders like the Bubbly Boob from the Bering and her sociopathic sponsors, so hell bent on destroying this country's hopes that they let anybody with a will of putty and an unhealthy attraction to dyed, doddering sidekicks of a B-movie chimpanzee make a run for high office. They architects of that particular strategy have a subliminal snicker built into their incendiary rhetoric that is only now being heard clearly to the masses as the shopworn bromides are wearing thinner and thinner with each desperate application.

And whether Five Mules for Sister Sarah likes it or not, there ain't no getting away from George Bush: the wounds are open and weeping, in spite of her chipper facade.

She's already secured herself a position of influence, far more exciting and exotic than the lil' ol' vice-presidency. In six weeks, you can be sure she'll be part of the most conspicuously moral duo on TV. And we'll all be better for it, having helped to place her in a job she's really suited for.

Am eye making myself clear? You betcha. (Wink!)

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