Miss Al Qaeda America

Well, one may no longer claim that women are the smarter, more sophisticated, more earthbound of the species. It is now possible in this wonderful age to be female and still be a completely unqualified, bleating, prevaricating moron who can get kicked upstairs like any of the men before her to have been so blessed.

To the unified delight of all the other morons of both sexes assembled at last night's Repustule Convention, the glass ceiling took another head-butt courtesy of a scrunch-wearing no-nothing and now -- incredibly -- the race is on. While thousands of conventioneers frequently burst into spontaneous cheers (one wishes that many of them could have burst into spontaneous flames instead) all too reminiscent of the ones heard in brauhauses in Munich in the early 30's, the spectacle of the bespectacled bobble-headed boobie capably reading her teleprompter gave the crowd of dead-enders the hope they have prayed so long for. For unto them has been delivered the perfect candidate to further their agenda, one that can deflate and defeat any and all who try to use reason and sense to better this nation's future chances at survival by invoking a large uterus and a tiny brain. Forget "Network" -- this is "Idiocracy", the cult film by Mike Judge that charts the descent of the American intellect to a level of nationwide doltishness.

It's homespun terrorism tailored to appeal to "the average American" and orchestrated nice as you please by the most efficient cultural terrorists this side of Wannsee. It comes bearing Tupperware bowls of Chex Mix and almond bark. It carries a bible and an AK-47 and wears its ignorance on its lapel, right next to the flag pin (which was finally stuck in place after several hours of processing the instructions that come with it). It invokes old glory and Old Glory and hates really only one thing: you.

Oh, okay, I am exaggerating the whole thing. Oh, maybe she's not so bad. Maybe it's not Al Qaeda come to America, putting an IED inside every soccer ball or sprinkling anthrax on every Jello casserole. Maybe it's only America as land of opportunity, where even the mayor of the largest methamphetamine producing city in Alaska can grow up to be Vice President of the United States simply by not trying.

McCain-Palin. Allah help us.

Read more reactions from HuffPost bloggers on Sarah Palin's speech

Comments

[philosopherkingtomas]

"I can see Russia from my road to Nowhere!"

Polar Bears demand Revenge !

[truthpls]

Sarah Palin is a gun-toting, book banning, wants to drill EVERYWHERE (even the most pristine of places) anti-choice, anti-same sex marriage, opposed to embryonic stem cell research, anti-sexual education (how ironic that this failed policy is directly impacting her personally), FLIP-FLOPPED on the bridge to nowhere, religious fanatic, least travelled former beauty queen ever to make the national political scene. Is it 2008 or have we gone back in time to 1908??? I say let Hillary Clinton show America the stark differences of what Palin stands for!! Ultimately I still believe John McCain has revealed the worst judgement of a politician since GEORGE W. BUSH!

[quinnc]

The last sentence was the best, and saddest, commentary on McCain's vision for America.

[Soothsayer08]

You are right in everything you say in your post.The Republicans are hypocrits of the worst caliber. What would be said if Michelle Obama was a member of the NRA and was shown firing a gun? WOW imagine the MSM frenzy. The New Yorker cover pictured her as a gun carrying militant. Why not Sarah Palin? Why not, because she is the pride of America, apple pie, and family values, and the most important thing , WHITE. The same people that label people terrorists because of their skin color or religion, are the real terrorists.

[RealityBaseCamp]

The other contestants (well, in everything she's done so far) voted her Miss-information.

[DAE]

What's wrong with Chex Mix?

[SimonNZ]

Huh?

[MNinWI]

what is wrong with this site? There are 0 comments pending-I submitted 2-where are they? Did Freddo take them home with him?

[opinion123]

We are the same age as you, and although I often submit comments, I can take a break tonight as you have said it all! I can't believe that the republicans really expect to be successful with this appeal to the weak minded. Can't wait to vote in Nov.

[bannelee]

Haven't you noticed? The republicans ALWAYS appeal to the weak minded.

[elbzee]

ergo, the last delightful 8 years.

[Diana]

Incredible piece, Steven. We simply cannot ignore the hate speech that whipped the crowd into a sadistic frenzy. This was no joke, and I was literally sickened.

We also must remember the overt threats to the press, whether it was the beating and arrest of journalists, including Amy Goodman, or the the warnings that any questioning of the republican campaign will result in a boycott by mccain/palin. These in-your-face threats have elevated the propaganda to a new level, and of course are also very omnious for the continuance of democracy.

[cylindar]

Allah is on vacation!

[NavyVet30]

After reading this, the only bone of contention I have is this:

Does Wasilla REALLY qualify as a city? I grew up in a Massachusetts town of 17000 and we had a board of selectman who were part-time... I think of Wasilla as more along the lines of a 'tiny' hamlet.

[Dynamohum]

The mayor's job in Wasilla is a part time job. That is documented by Alaskan newspapers.

[kathy001]

LMAO!!! Thank you for putting this into these particular words. They were perfect!! Yes, indeed, Allah help us.

[BristolPalinsBabyDaddy]

That's too flattering a title me thinks.

She's classless, and proud of it.

[Wilsonv]

Evil alwasys seem to come wrapped in a pretty bow. This time we saw a rare glimpse before we did a full purchase. Please let's put this back on the shelf.