Miss Al Qaeda America

Well, one may no longer claim that women are the smarter, more sophisticated, more earthbound of the species. It is now possible in this wonderful age to be female and still be a completely unqualified, bleating, prevaricating moron who can get kicked upstairs like any of the men before her to have been so blessed.

To the unified delight of all the other morons of both sexes assembled at last night's Repustule Convention, the glass ceiling took another head-butt courtesy of a scrunch-wearing no-nothing and now -- incredibly -- the race is on. While thousands of conventioneers frequently burst into spontaneous cheers (one wishes that many of them could have burst into spontaneous flames instead) all too reminiscent of the ones heard in brauhauses in Munich in the early 30's, the spectacle of the bespectacled bobble-headed boobie capably reading her teleprompter gave the crowd of dead-enders the hope they have prayed so long for. For unto them has been delivered the perfect candidate to further their agenda, one that can deflate and defeat any and all who try to use reason and sense to better this nation's future chances at survival by invoking a large uterus and a tiny brain. Forget "Network" -- this is "Idiocracy", the cult film by Mike Judge that charts the descent of the American intellect to a level of nationwide doltishness.

It's homespun terrorism tailored to appeal to "the average American" and orchestrated nice as you please by the most efficient cultural terrorists this side of Wannsee. It comes bearing Tupperware bowls of Chex Mix and almond bark. It carries a bible and an AK-47 and wears its ignorance on its lapel, right next to the flag pin (which was finally stuck in place after several hours of processing the instructions that come with it). It invokes old glory and Old Glory and hates really only one thing: you.

Oh, okay, I am exaggerating the whole thing. Oh, maybe she's not so bad. Maybe it's not Al Qaeda come to America, putting an IED inside every soccer ball or sprinkling anthrax on every Jello casserole. Maybe it's only America as land of opportunity, where even the mayor of the largest methamphetamine producing city in Alaska can grow up to be Vice President of the United States simply by not trying.

McCain-Palin. Allah help us.

Read more reactions from HuffPost bloggers on Sarah Palin's speech

Comments

[lisakaz2]

Awesome post, Steven. You get my vote for the correct snarky reference to Wansee. (Use 1942 and add Germany for those who don't get it.)

Thanks.

[HWBII]

Steven, I've been trying to practice "detachment", which you suggested in your last post, but the choice of this woman put an end to that. Just when you thought you were out, they pull you back in...

[alsm9]

Steven Weber, great article!

[susaw]

I am, for the first time in my 67 years, really afraid for this country. Where were the issues in her speech? where were the economy, the war, the foreclosure problem, (we know where energy is with them); AND where was her biography? I think the Sinclair Lewis quote is quite apt here. This is exactly the way Hitler operated: whip them into a frenzy, make them forget their problems, and move in for the kill!

To make matters worse, the press is drinking the KoolAid; I have turned the news off several times today because I just can't bear to listen to these self-anointed experts talking about what a great speech it was. If sarcasm and irony were qualifications to be President, show me where I sign up! I'm 5 years younger than McCain and have enough sarcasm to sustain me for at least 8 years in the White House. Of course, I am not qualified to address the problems with the economy, the war in Iraq (but wait, I'm probably more qualified there than Gov Palin!).

Be afraid; be very afraid and for God's sake, get out and spread the word about Obama/Biden before we are all "following orders".

[opinion123]

We are the same age as you, and although I often submit comments, I can take a break tonight as you have said it all! I can't believe that the republicans really expect to be successful with this appeal to the weak minded. Can't wait to vote in Nov.

[Bitsko]

Unfortunately for the country and the world, you are not exaggerating the whole thing.

[helloworld2008]

Sarah Palin = Bush 2.0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rhjuRMi_78U

Here we go again!

Another "reformer with results" country governor who masks extreme rightwing views and total incompetence with folksiness and platitudes about being "compassionate".

Just another pretty face on the ugly policies of environmental destruction, more subsidies for Big Oil, more wars and hatred abroad, and more partisan warfare and religious extremism at home.

[horus07]

sweeeeet!

[auntiecairo]

Great post Steven - the worst part to me of Palin's speech (and believe me it was hard to choose one) was her denigrading community service -- as if that's a bad thing. Apparently Governor Palin has never heard of Teach America or other organizations that encourage graduates from top schools to devote a year or two to teaching in inner cities -- Obama worked through a church which I thought was sacred to Republicans - apparently not. I have yet to read of anything good Palin has done for the people of Alaska - as if cutting the budget helps anyone. We now know she cut funding for unwed mothers - no telling what other good programs she slashed just so she could hold the title "reformer.­" Which is apparently also false since she applied for huge federal funds in relation to the size of her city.

[EngineerBill]

"...the largest methamphetamine producing city in Alaska..."
He's right
http://www.officer.com/article/article.jsp?id=22122&siteSection=1
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matanuska-Susitna_Valley

[JSB1685]

Thank you, thank you! You have read my mind and have vented my spleen! My spleen sends it's regards. Obama '08 or Bust.

[Ohioan4truth]

I'm practicing my "goose-stepping"," arm-raising" salute and "bow-down" technique for the next fascist dictatorship that's coming down the pike so as to blend in until I can find a spot on this Earth to escape the insanity that is going to take over this Country in November. Sane people will not prevail this onslaught of madness to come. The invasion of "mind-snatchers" will be in control very soon and if you don't conform there will be those that will turn you in to the proper authorities for re-program­ming.The government will make you drink the Kool-aid or be sent to one of the concentration camps awaiting your arrival. Your base belong to them.

I'm jesting here. However, events do seem to be heading in some sort of scenario similar to my ruminations here. Happy voting in November!

[Zeje]

I'm afraid too.

[davidray]

fascism has always been here. right over there. see it. look closer.
not that close. you're fogging up the mirror.
that's better
it's what makes you look away when you think someone might be watching. it's what makes you bail on anyone who speaks out or doesn't agree with you. it's what you say to people about someone else when you perceive them to be weak. it's what makes you lash out here instead of the voting booth. it's what makes you think about what you say before you say it and where.
why it's everywhere. and it got a lot closer last night because it was so easy to see. but it's been for eight years. so what are you going to do about it? well.

because whenever i decry what's happening to both our countries you should see the boomers look the other way or change the subject.
so keep up the good work Mr. Weber but I fear you are whistling in the wind.
now where did I put those mandarin lessons

a postcard from canuckistan

[Zeje]

It's not just the boomers who look the other way.

[davidray]

america has nothing to fear from terrorists. she will eat herself to death first.
bada bing.

the only missing from the speech was a balcony and some armbands.
bada boom

a postcard from canuckistan

[Grommitt]

Palin calls herself a Dominionist. What's a Dominionist, you ask. From Wikipedia:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dominionism

Although the term dominionism is used in several distinct ways, the origin of most usage can be traced back to a specific passage in the King James Version of the Bible:

And God blessed [ Adam and Eve ] and God said unto them, "Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth." --Genesis 1:28 (KJV)

Christians typically interpret this verse as meaning that God gave humankind responsibility over the Earth, but theologians do not all agree on the nature and extent of that "dominion".

In 2005, Clarkson enumerated the following characteristics shared by all forms of dominionism:[19]

1. Dominionists celebrate Christian nationalism, in that they believe that the United States once was, and should once again be, a Christian nation. In this way, they deny the Enlightenment roots of American democracy.
2. Dominionists promote religious supremacy, insofar as they generally do not respect the equality of other religions, or even other versions of Christianity.
3. Dominionists endorse theocratic visions, insofar as they believe that the Ten Commandments, or "biblical law," should be the foundation of American law, and that the U.S. Constitution should be seen as a vehicle for implementing Biblical principles­.[19]

[lisakaz2]

Thus fully deserving the name Talebangelism.

[mosh]

I see no evidence of exaggeration here - really!

Your rhetoric matches what many of us feel - pure, unadulterated shock that this is what our country has sunk to. And hearing some of the praise plastered on this monster is just sickening.

Here I thought we had hit rock bottom with the fiasco that is george bush and now this - - this palin creature who has probably never even read the Constitution let alone understands the concepts on which this country rests.

This choice of running is an unadulterated slap in the face of every thinking human being which no longer includes a wide swath of republican (dare I still call them) citizens.

McCain says Palin is his soul mate. His soul mate. Well, now we know what John McCain's soul looks like and it is not a pretty.