Newly Elected South Carolina Senator Alvin Greene's Acceptance Speech

Hello.

I want to thank the thousands of voting machines that elected me.

I want to thank the ballots for making you think of Lou Rawls and Al Greene, who I liked a lot. As a kid. I think Lou Rawls is dead. Which helped.

Hello.

No.

I look forward to representing the people of South Carolina, wherever they are.

I want to thank God for the envelope with money in it that He sent me, along with the note telling me to run for senator.

And I want to thank all of of you for making all of this and all of me possible. And God.

Okay.

 

Follow Steven Weber on Twitter: www.twitter.com/@TheStevenWeber

Comments

[ajadedoptimist]

11:55 PM on 07/01/2010

Everytime I laugh, I remember Greene is South Carolina's only defense against DeMint. Then I laugh again until someone reminds me that here in North Carolina we have Bill Randall, the GOP Congressional candidate who is floating the BP conspiracy theory. You know, the one where the government and BP "wanted it to leak." Bill, an African American, is backed by the Tea Party. Guess he hasn't seen some of their racist signs. Then there's my district, the NC 7th, where our choice is between Blue Dog Mike McIntyre and Ilario Pantano, one of the Republican's Young Guns.
Democrats here are furious with McIntyre for his stubborn refusal to vote for healthcare reform, but hopefully we can turn out the vote, or else we'll be stuck with the Tea Party's new darling, Pantano. It's gonna get ugly down here. Maybe it's time to move back to my beloved Pennsylvania.

[chasedebnam]

04:09 PM on 06/21/2010

I almost thought I had wandered over to the Onion website mistakenly...

[JohnLorenzo]

01:42 PM on 06/21/2010

Steven, I think he might add, "My thanks to the voters of South Carolina for a . . . for a, not knowing who I am but enjoying my name enough to, a . . . to a, you know, put a little hole next to it."

[den1953]

10:18 AM on 06/21/2010

I hope i can help MR Geene win in the fall anything is better then DeMint and his holier then tho BS!

[den1953]

10:17 AM on 06/21/2010

He is different from Sarah Palin how?

[AlphaDoc]

04:52 PM on 06/21/2010

He's quieter, and his voice doesn't sound like nails on a chalkboard.

[den1953]

04:58 PM on 06/21/2010

Fanned and that works for me!

[PanBaccha]

10:01 AM on 06/21/2010

This particular election, and the 2000 & 2004 elections, should say it all. The only thing missing from our 'third-world politics' are the mosquitoes and the overflowing folliage of the jungle.

[Waitaminute]

09:57 AM on 06/21/2010

What i can't understand, what made an unemployed Mr. Greene decide to pay $10,440 and run in the first place? If his winning the primary had anything to do with the voting machines, DeMint had better hope republicans are manipulating the machines. Talk about an embarrassing moment if Mr. Greene wins the general. After all, strange things have already happened.

[RepugsOut08]

06:23 AM on 06/21/2010

You know what, Steven? I think what happened was this:
Congressman Barton and BP CEO Tony Hayward showed up at the SC Dem headquarters just before the election, and in their best Monty Python hoodlum-style voices, said, "Nice beaches ya got here in South Carolina. Be a shame if anything was ta happen to 'em!"
"We's got dis guy we wants ta win da primary, see?"
The rest, as they say, is history.

[killdevil]

02:27 AM on 06/21/2010

The people have spoken. . .

[wethepeople3884]

09:44 AM on 06/21/2010

even if they had no clue what they said.

[Bluedanube]

08:56 PM on 06/20/2010

Nothing more than a Republican scheme to see how far they could push the envelope of political crime. So far the Republicans should be heartened at the tepid response of the Democratic party to the crimes of their "esteemed colleagues" on the other side of the aisle.

[Dr. Jonathan David Farley]

05:04 AM on 06/21/2010

Maybe you're right, but what's your proof? At this point you have none.

[CCape]

05:25 PM on 06/20/2010

Maybe Democrats in South Carolina aren't too bright? I'd like to see the comments here if this happened in a Republican primary.

[Dr. Jonathan David Farley]

05:07 AM on 06/21/2010

Or maybe Vic Rawl, the candidate pre-selected by the Party---a la the Soviet Union---was so bad that voters chose the other person on the ballot.

[AlphaDoc]

06:59 AM on 06/21/2010

I heard one South Carolinian interviewed who said that she voted for Greene because his name reminded her of the singer, and she didn't recognize the other guy's name at all. So maybe the bigger question here is, why on earth are these clueless people voting?

[TapDuncan]

04:40 PM on 06/20/2010

Steven, LOL!!! I swear, I'm still scratching my head at this guy, they say he was in Army Intelligence which seems like an oxymoron come to life!!! Emphasis on MORON!!!

BTW full disclosure: I'm a former Marine, I am not dissing my fellow comrade's in arms whatsoever...

[Dr. Jonathan David Farley]

05:10 AM on 06/21/2010

What's your evidence that Alvin Greene is a "moron"? That he is a poor public speaker? Give me a poor public speaker who is against wasting so much money on prisons, and who wants to focus on alternative energy, over a glib candidate who wants to build nuclear power plants and expand offshore drilling.
http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/31/science/earth/31energy.html
http://www.cbc.ca/world/story/2010/02/16/obama-nuclear-loan.html

[AlphaDoc]

06:55 AM on 06/21/2010

I am actually hoping Greene turns out to be a genius who simply isn't accustomed to being interviewed and speaking in public. I also hope he wins, because as UpstateSC has pointed out, he's better than DeMint, either way. But the question remains: Where did the money come from?

[wakeupus]

09:38 AM on 06/21/2010

Obviously if a black man wins a primary without the support of the white left they cannot believe it. He's got to be a GOP plant or a moron. These are the same white people who run around calling other whites racist if as if it's they're inherent right as liberals to make such a determination. To me, the people who are disparaging this man and all who voted for him are exposing themselves as the ones who are truly racist.

[UpstateSC]

04:25 PM on 06/20/2010

Laugh all you want Steven, if Alvin Greene is on the ballot in November, and it looks like he will be, I'll vote for him. He's got to be better than what we have now "representing" South Carolina - Jim "Waterloo" DeMint.

[desidid]

12:19 AM on 06/21/2010

Let's see what the courts have to say about that.

[justan olnamvet]

09:42 AM on 06/21/2010

You got that right. After the civil war,SC had a large group of elected black people in their legislature. The opposition got the federal government to eject them and change the makeup of representation.

[RepugsOut08]

06:27 AM on 06/21/2010

I agree with you. If the Dems run a tree stump or a laundry hamper against Demint, you'd be better off with the Dem candidate.

[LMPE]

03:14 PM on 06/20/2010

Then again, would another SC politician be any different?

[UpstateSC]

04:25 PM on 06/20/2010

No.

[LMPE]

04:32 PM on 06/20/2010

On the bright side, the Palmetto State gave us Stephen Colbert (he even shares the initials!).

[wethepeople3884]

09:49 AM on 06/21/2010

lets see him actually debate demint first before we judge. I am thinking even south carolina could have done better. Of course, south carolina could do WAAAY better than jim demint so maybe its not the people running for office that are the problem, maybe its the people who are voting - how about reading a sentence or two about the candidates on the ballot before heading off to vote? Would that be so much to ask? How can they take the time out of their life to vote but not take the extra 30 minutes or so to read a few articles. Maybe the people of south carolina dont deserve any better than this choice but certainly the rest of the country does as that is who they actually legislate for in congress - the whole country.

[bernikitty]

03:05 PM on 06/20/2010

lol! ...now what's going on with the investigation? ...anything?