The High Calling of a Low Brow
He we go again.
Knowing that you can fool some of the people all of the time, Sarah Palin is clubbing American politainment (New Coinable Phrase Alert) like it was a baby seal.
Without a team of Machiavellian neocons to pull her strings, The Vanilla Guerrilla from Wasilla is a marionette without a master, making a bold, maverick move and stiffing her constituents, sparing them the expense of having an elected leader and demonstrating the efficacy of smaller government.
Gosh, she's purty and, I dare say, strikingly similar to another recently unassed Republican ex-white hope, George W. Bush. She's got about the same I.Q. as W, though not the pedigree. She's got the same vague ambition but no compass. She's got legs and she knows how to use them (whereas W, in his flight suit, had crotch. Nocturnal emission accomplished!). It's possible she's even more devolved than W, which is saying a lot. Boiled down to the tar, she's all dimple and no depth.
She's Darwins Darlin', proving that on her private Galapagos it is survival of the prettiest.
Given how low the bar has been set by her party's compadres, this two-dimensional pop culture warritrix certainly can do what she wants---badly, of course, but that's not the point. When you live in a labelocracy you can call yourself anything and if you have enough sloe-eyed bucktooth cork-brains who pop wood whenever this particular milf in mukluks winks at them then, gosh darn it you're a winner! If Sarah insists she's a political superstar who represents some vague Christian morality and personifies the myth of American white bread normalcy, yet is still incapable of delivering anything but half-baked bromides and useless legislation, then by Republican standards she is the leader in 2012.
Forget that she's as qualified to run a government as a year old box of raisins.
Forget that she telegraphs her ignorance every time she opens her pie hole and oozes rote generalities.
And by all means forget the sketchy goings on within her own family circle and soon-to-be-forsaken administration. Just remember her inane assertions that she cares about her country and then ask yourself: if she cares so much, where's she goin'?
For too long we've been subjected to the whims of the booboisie and its corrupt representations, determined to build a world reflecting their boneheaded and backward-marching theories on life and liberty. For Sarah Palin, that world is her oyster. And what's a gal like Sarah to do when she's got oysters? Shuck 'em all!
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Now that she's leaving the governorship, maybe she'll leave the GOP and switch to the Alaskan Independence Party.
Absolutely brilliant! You have a way with words that I can only dream of!
I agree. Too bad all of it will go over Palin's head. She doesn't "get" puns or sarcasm, or anything literary, really. But, hey, I enjoyed it immensely!
I don't really feel the rancor of this article actually contributes anything to the discussion other than the expression of oft-felt, not often expressed sentiments.
All of this is a little interesting given the message of this piece seems to be the idea that there is no substance to Palin.
A lot of asserting, no real arguing.
Feel free to flame me...I agree with the piece ostensibly but still don't feel it actually does anything productive.
There are people out there arguing that Palin is being very shrewd in this resignation move, positioning herself to be a real contender in 2012. And some of these people are actually liberals!
Apparently the fear Sarah instilled in some of the progressives, has still not been fully exorcized.
I think Steven's assessment of Palin is spot on, and, apparently, a still needed reminder for some, of just how pathetic a candidate she truly is. Add to that, Steven's writing is always a joy to read.
It is simply a piece of light hearted satire from an Actor. So there is no need to look for any real political pointscoring or in depth condemnation of her so called principles. This chap is an actor and he is entertaining us - a job well done dont you think?
I havent had such a good laugh for a long, long time ! The Vanilla Guerrilla from Wasilla - that is just PRICELESS !!
She had all those kids and she still has her figure!
OF COURSE SHE CAN BE PRESIDENT!!
Having kids and keeping one's figure does not make one smart enough to be President.
And speaking of figures - this is who I want as my next president - check out her spread in Runners World - and she's not running in any of the pics:
http://www
Steven Weber,
I am now a fan.
Satire with intelligence.
Brilliant!
Satire. It's like Jay-walking in print.
Well......
Aloha from Glacier Bay Alaska! Hilarious read - thank you very much, thank you very much, thank you very much, also, too.
July 3, 2009 - Southeast Alaskan's Pilot's Log -
Alaska Celebrated Independence Day from Sarah Palin!
Lots of campfires were burning in unity and Alaskans are full of hope for the future on this 4th of July weekend.
Thank you for providing a lot of us Alaskans with a venue to vent our frustrations. Palin's behavior combined with the economy really put a lot of pressure on Alaskans. I live in Southeast and geographically, a place Palin loves to hate. Palin continues her bizarre behavior and we're truly counting the minutes.
Sarah Palin lacks continuity. She is all about leaving emperical evidence out of everything she does. We have no idea how events unfold with her. If good Darwinians, are all about introducing as few discontinuities as possible into the story of how we got from the apes to being Enlightened, this sister sure has it down packed. She's vague while pretending to be enlightened.
By the way, You and I have a different idea as to what type of "clubbing" Palin does. . I think of her as a more: we be clubbing all night, oh! [Verse 1] ... Ooh, ooh, ooh ,ooh,ooh! [Verse 2], hitting American politainment dance floor.
And, "Booboisie", Steven? Is that another coinable phrase? Thanks...
Exceptional post!
Dude, great title
Great post. The events of the past four weeks marks the completion of the Palinization of the Grand Ole Party. No, the final straw was not the bizarre resignation by Sarah Palin, it was the scrambling of the intellectual wing of the party to give it credibility rather than calling it what it was. A freak show!
To me she is the Whiner from Wasilla. Can you think of anybody else who complained this much how hard public office is? And then stamped her purty high heel and quit, gosh darnit. That'll show 'em.
Well done. Love the descriptor "politainment". Years ago, I stole "inbred webfooted mutants" from Howard Stern and have been using it to great effect. "Sloe-eyed bucktooth cork-brains" may very well supplant it....Ya gotta laugh at this stuff...th
Come on Steven, she's not THAT purty! But I do like that Vanilla Guerrilla from Wasilla moniker, yes indeed.
Actually, I like "Attila from Wasilla" better. But that's just me.
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