The High Calling of a Low Brow

He we go again.

Knowing that you can fool some of the people all of the time, Sarah Palin is clubbing American politainment (New Coinable Phrase Alert) like it was a baby seal.

Without a team of Machiavellian neocons to pull her strings, The Vanilla Guerrilla from Wasilla is a marionette without a master, making a bold, maverick move and stiffing her constituents, sparing them the expense of having an elected leader and demonstrating the efficacy of smaller government.

Gosh, she's purty and, I dare say, strikingly similar to another recently unassed Republican ex-white hope, George W. Bush. She's got about the same I.Q. as W, though not the pedigree. She's got the same vague ambition but no compass. She's got legs and she knows how to use them (whereas W, in his flight suit, had crotch. Nocturnal emission accomplished!). It's possible she's even more devolved than W, which is saying a lot. Boiled down to the tar, she's all dimple and no depth.

She's Darwins Darlin', proving that on her private Galapagos it is survival of the prettiest.

Given how low the bar has been set by her party's compadres, this two-dimensional pop culture warritrix certainly can do what she wants---badly, of course, but that's not the point. When you live in a labelocracy you can call yourself anything and if you have enough sloe-eyed bucktooth cork-brains who pop wood whenever this particular milf in mukluks winks at them then, gosh darn it you're a winner! If Sarah insists she's a political superstar who represents some vague Christian morality and personifies the myth of American white bread normalcy, yet is still incapable of delivering anything but half-baked bromides and useless legislation, then by Republican standards she is the leader in 2012.

Forget that she's as qualified to run a government as a year old box of raisins.

Forget that she telegraphs her ignorance every time she opens her pie hole and oozes rote generalities.

And by all means forget the sketchy goings on within her own family circle and soon-to-be-forsaken administration. Just remember her inane assertions that she cares about her country and then ask yourself: if she cares so much, where's she goin'?  

For too long we've been subjected to the whims of the booboisie and its corrupt representations, determined to build a world reflecting their boneheaded and backward-marching theories on life and liberty. For Sarah Palin, that world is her oyster. And what's a gal like Sarah to do when she's got oysters? Shuck 'em all!

Comments

[ericsongs]

Yet another astute observation from our good friend Mr. Weber. There are indeed a number of "coinable phrases" in this piece, but my personal favorite is "Vanilla Guerilla".

[simplysimon2]

Mine is "she's all dimple, and no depth".

[indy girl]

Mine is "She's got about the same I.Q. as W, though not the pedigree. She's got the same vague ambition but no compass."