Facebook: where we spy on our ex, stay in touch with that fling in Europe, judge our friends' inane hourly updates, and get hounded by our high school classmates. But where we keep up with mom, it most certainly is not--or at least not until now.
A friend of mine complained to me the other night that his mother posted a "Happy V-Day, Love Mom" comment, and he called her to apologize after deleting it. A girl who overheard him retelling the story piped in immediately, "I can't believe you! If I saw that on your page I'd think it was adorable." When she was finished with him, it was clear my friend would never delete his mother's posts again.
Remember how you always told your Mom she couldn't stop youth culture? Well it's payback time, and you can't stop mom culture, either. Today, with an audience of millions of moms across America, Oprah joined "the Facebook revolution." You thought your Mom was getting a little too close for comfort on the Internet before? Just you wait. You've gotten that Sunday phone call ever since you left home, but get ready for the Sunday comment and photo tag.
Maybe you're afraid she'll snoop around your page. Are you still talking to that old flame she always said was "just not good enough for you?" Are you getting tagged in pictures of you wearing that "naughty nurse" Halloween costume or that Michael Phelps-esque portrait of you and your bong? Probably. But rather than worrying too much about that, maybe you should just be thankful that mom's interested in being part of your life.
I was a little freaked the day I clicked the "new friend requests" tab and saw my Mom smiling at me. I took a second to adjust, and then clicked "Approve." Aunts and uncles started showing up in there the next day, and I think it's wonderful. For the most part, they're far less innocent than we think they are. So what if they don't want their relationships with us to move into grandparent mode when we move out of the house? They've heard about "this Facebook" where everyone around the world is connecting. They want to be part of it, and you're who they want to connect with. So if the question is, "How do you ignore your mom's friend request?" The answer is, "How could you?"
As a 48 year old, I watch my peers try to grab hold of their fading youth with a new found obsession with facebook. I would never dream of invading my college aged daughters life in this way.
They have resisted my being on Facebook, though they both friended me. My youngest (21) in particular goes bananas whenever I post on his wall. So I don't. I never look at their pictures -- I just plain don't want to know.
But I refuse to quit because--guess what, guys!--I'm a human being with actual friends of my own, friends with whom I've been able to connect (after many years, some of them) through Facebook. I guess they'll grant me humanity someday. I hope it's not when I'm dead.
(However, my "future daughter-in-law" asked to be my friend so that particular door has now been cracked open!)
To make her feel better, I pulled out my laptop and showed her how many Facebook friends I have and she realized that the legacy I've created is something she should be proud of. I also mentioned that if she joined it would be like having her drop me off at a high school party, which would immediately result in a major loss of friends.
It is safe to say I'll never have to say "no" to my mom on Facebook.
Oh, and she also doesn't have a computer.
Mike Vardy
www.effingthedog.com
she's not on facebook tho'. it's amazing some of the trash some people post on their facebook. kiss your mama with that mouth?
check out my blog if you wish and wave to my ma upon your visit.
http://reddoorread.blogspot.com/
I have nothing to be "ashamed" of, but I have heard of employers using details of one's private life to discriminate against employees. I'm not heterosexual and I am not married - I use social networking as a tool to maintain contacts with people in all manner of subcultures. I would not want my mother or employer looking at those details of my personal life.
As far as my mother or an employer is concerned, if it's not under their roof, it's none of their business. Unfortunately, they won't see it that way, thus the need to maintain two (or more) "identities". That being said, I would have no problems "friending" my mother on Facebook under my real name. I also know how to use groups for security.
AND....my daughter doesn't say anything to me that she doesn't say to her friends. We're close and honest with each other. More than that, we don't judge either's lives.