THE BLOG
12/10/2013 11:35 am ET Updated Feb 09, 2014

How to Not Ruin Your Wedding

A few months ago, I had a client who was determined to be miserable during the planning of her wedding and especially on her wedding day. Months before, she forwarded an email to me from her florist who was informing her that they could no longer provide flowers for her wedding. She said, "Have you ever seen anything like this before?" I hadn't. I told her that I'd find a new florist for her. I found out that it came down to a personality conflict and the florist wasn't going to deal with her.

A few weeks after that, we were sitting in a planning session where all she did was complain about how her bridesmaids weren't doing enough. One of them had the "audacity" to have foot surgery before her wedding and wasn't going to be able to wear the heels that were picked out for her. She decided to kick that bridesmaid out because she just "knew" that it was done on purpose. How dare she have foot surgery!!

It wasn't until I was copied on a nasty email to the venue in which the bride laid out her conspiracy theory regarding chair ties, upgraded chairs and an apparent plot to steal her money. I emailed the bride immediately and explained that venue wasn't out to get her and that she shouldn't wage war against the director of her wedding venue. That's never a good idea. The emails never stopped, by the way.

Wedding day was a nightmare in and of itself. The scowl on the bride's face was like nothing I've ever seen before. "Why would you put this lipstick on me knowing that I don't look good in this color?" and "Why do I have to fluff my dress out by myself?!" she barked at her bridesmaids. Everyone was on edge and there wasn't anything that could be done to make this bride happy. Not even her new husband who worked tirelessly the entire day to turn all of her negatives into positives. "It's ok that your comb fell out of your hair during the vows, it gives us a good story to tell."

I walked away from her wedding more exhausted mentally than any wedding I've ever had before. What was it that bothered me so much? Was it the scowl on her face? Was it her bridesmaids talking about her behind her back? Was it the fact that nothing was making her happy? Then I realized that it was the fact that rather than seeing the positive, she looked for every single negative thing and ruined her wedding for herself.

Here are some tips to help you not ruin your wedding the way this bride did:

  1. Don't' sweat the small stuff. You'd be shocked by how many things can go wrong on a wedding day but the more you look for things to go wrong, the more they will. The DJ cut off your favorite song right before your favorite part? That's okay. Dance to the next song.
  2. It's okay to be a bride on a budget but don't be a budget bride. Sticking to a budget is essential for any wedding. Handing your florist100 and expecting5,000 worth of flowers isn't going to happen. You'll just upset your vendors and make the planning more difficult. Find vendors within your price range.
  3. Focus on your new husband, your family and friends who have come to share your special day and don't look for something to go wrong. Enjoy the day. Hopefully, it's the only wedding you'll have.