Dear Florida Republican Party Chairman Lenny Curry,
We hear you're in a tizzy because Florida delegates will be staying at the Innisbrook Resort and Golf Club, which happens to be 31 miles away from downtown Tampa, where the 2012 Republican National Convention will be held.
Evidently, you think the Republican National Committee picked this location to punish Florida, because lawmakers moved the state's presidential primary to January.
"I'm p----- off,'' you told the Tampa Bay Times. "We're one of the most important swing states, if not the most important swing state, and our activists and our donors are going to be punished for something they had nothing to do with."
Yeah, we acknowledge that Innisbrook is certainly not a stone's throw from the Tampa Bay Times Forum. But, it certainly would NOT be punishing to stay at Innisbrook, either.
Mr. Curry, we'd like to welcome you to Palm Harbor. Life is good over here on this side of Tampa Bay. In fact, we're sure that by the time you leave Palm Harbor, we'll have turned your frown upside down!
Here are 10 Reasons Why RNC Delegates Will Love Palm Harbor-
1) The best Key Lime Pie EVER is made right here in Palm Harbor. Family-owned J.J. Gandy's has been a favorite of locals for 30 years. Every year, customers line up outside the award-winning bakery to pick up pies for their holiday meals. J.J. Gandy's also supplies pies to lots of restaurants, they're that good!
2) Palm Harbor is tops in Tampa Bay, when it comes to monkeying around. The Suncoast Primate Sanctuary is located in Palm Harbor. The non-profit organization resembles an old-style roadside attraction and is home to rescued primates and lots of other critters. Some residents had careers as TV actors and circus performers, others were rescued from test labs. "Cheetah," a chimp who is said to have appeared in Tarzan movies, lived at the sanctuary until his death last year. One of our favorite residents is "Pongo" a huge, lovable orangutan that you can see up close. Buy a bag of "Monkey Mix" and you'll have a blast feeding these fun critters.
3) Do you like nice cars? Palm Harbor is home to Tampa Bay's only Ferrari dealership. The staff there is very nice and they don't mind lookie-loos. If you can't afford one of these fast cars, they do have a large retail section with plenty of cool Ferrari merchandise.
4) Do you like the beach? We have a charming little community beach where you can relax and watch spectacular sunsets. Crystal Beach is located at the corner of Crystal Beach Ave. & South Gulf Drive.
5) Want to experience one of the best beaches in the state? Clearwater Beach is just 15 miles away. (By the way, the drive to Clearwater Beach from Palm Harbor is much shorter than if you were staying at a hotel in Tampa!)
6) Speaking of drives to experience great things, we have restaurants here in Palm Harbor, that attract people from other communities. Yep, people actually get in their cars and drive here to Palm Harbor to eat at The Lucky Dill Deli and Lee Roy Selmon's and they also party at Peggy O'Neill's. We have LOTS of other great restaurants, too!
7) The Original Hooter's is a short trip down U.S. 19 in Clearwater. Need we say more?
8) Do you like to golf? You'll be happy to know that Innisbrook's Copperhead course is ranked as one of the Top 10 PGA Tour Courses by the pros. Innisbrook is a 900 acre resort that also features three other golf courses, 11 tennis courts, six swimming pools, four restaurants and the luxurious Indaba Spa. During the conference, Innisbrook will also name the holes on its Copperhead course chronologically after each of the 18 Republican American presidents, calling it the "Presidents 18."
9) Sheila C. Johnson, the owner of Innisbrook is rolling out the red carpet for YOU. She plans to personally greet delegation members. How cool is that?
"I look forward to meeting everyone from Florida and South Carolina - two states with which I am very familiar. We'll provide everyone - no matter their political affiliation - with a great experience, and also have a little fun with the theme," says Johnson.
In case you're not familiar with Sheila Johnson, she is a founding partner of BET (Black Entertainment Television) and is the first African-American woman to have a stake in three professional sports teams, including the Washington Wizards (NBA) and the Washington Capitals (NHL). Johnson is also the Strategic Advisor for Multicultural and African-American Initiatives at AOL Huffington Post Media Group, which is affiliated with Patch.
10) You might bump into a local legend during your stay at Innisbrook. Legendary 99 year-old golf course architect Larry Packard lives at Innisbrook. He has worked on more than 500 golf courses around the world and designed the famed Copperhead course at Innisbrook, in addition to the other three courses at the resort. He often wears an awesome red plaid jacket, which makes him the best dressed 99 year-old that we know. If you are really nice, Mr. Packard might invite you to have a bourbon with him!
Did we miss a place that you think the delegates ought to visit? Let them know in the comments section below!
Cross-posted from Palm Harbor Patch.