The Power of Skin: Shake Your Booty?

I was at an event recently when I was dissed. It wasn't a mean diss, or even a conscious one for that matter. And that kind of made it worse.

I was talking to a colleague who I respect. We were chatting away and suddenly his head turned and locked. Silence. He became mesmerized. No, his brain froze or fried on the spot when a tall woman wearing a tight bright top revealing the exact shape of her breasts began to dance. Her pants hung so low you could almost glimpse her betty.

I thought about snapping my fingers, waving my hand in front of his face, or just walking away. I doubt he would have noticed. Then I realized I was mad. And jealous.

I was mad because I wasn't commanding his attention with my presence. Sure, I could have yanked down my top so the effectiveness of my push-up bra could be revealed. I could have danced seductively too. But that's not me. I want to be taken seriously -- as a woman, I want to be listened to, cherished, not gawked at.

It's not that I don't recognize the power of skin. I just choose not to use it. Years ago, a friend told me that while she was talking to a man she liked she hiked her shorts up a bit so he could get a better look at her legs. This idea was so foreign to me at the time I couldn't even imagine doing such a thing.

All my life my mother insisted I buy loose clothes to hide my ample ass. It didn't work. The entire African American male population frequently commented on my "booty." Some said that I must have Hottentot in my Caucasian ancestry.

Since then I've experimented a bit more showing a hint of cleavage, some thigh, clingy pants, but I wouldn't want the general public to know if I had a Brazilian. Perhaps I'm alone on this. I always thought that a good present gave the most pleasure when it was beautifully wrapped.

Susan Harrow is the author of Sell Yourself Without Selling Your Soul. She runs a Media Consultancy where she helps everyone from Fortune 500 CEOs to celebrity chefs, entrepreneurs to authors grow their business through media coaching and the power of PR. For more information please contact Susan.

Follow Susan Harrow on Twitter: www.twitter.com/soundbitesiren

Comments

[LadyR]

P.S. Damn, girl, don't you know how lucky you are? Show it off!!!

[LadyR]

Well, I, for one, am proud of what I've got, and when I feel like showing it off, I do! And that includes BOTH my mind AND my body! Of course it depends on the occasion. :)

[vorpalmusic]

Also, why do so many women claim that you can only be beautiful or taken seriously? Is it really so hard to imagine a woman who is both sexually arousing and also worthy of being listened to? The women that attract me need both qualities in equal measure.

It's as if men can only choose to be intelligent or physically strong. How often do you hear about guys trying to hide their muscles so that people don't think they're dumb?

[vorpalmusic]

`I always thought that a good present gave the most pleasure when it was beautifully wrapped.``

That's why he was looking at the girl on the dance floor, because she chose to portray herself in a beautiful way instead of being ashamed and hiding herself behind baggy clothes, which probably comes along with analogously self-deprecating attitudes and postures.

Doesn't a man with a nice body look better in well-fitted clothing than in sweatpants too?

[Malkin72]

"I want to be taken seriously -- as a woman, I want to be listened to, cherished, not gawked at."

OK, what if men WANT to be treated like pieces of meat and used for our bodies, not used for our money, sense of humor or intellect?

Should women change their priorities and behavior based on what we want them to want us for?

[ChurchofOne]

Me: Ooooeeee... shake it! You are sooo hot!
Him: Hey.. you're treating me like a sex object.
Me: Yes, I am.
Him: Thank you!

Both parties giggle and go back to what we were doing.

[Catothemuchyounger]

If this is the first time a guy has done this while you are talking to him, you must be something to see yourself. Most of us try to avoid this sort of reaction, particularly after suffering the wrath of a girlfriend we did this with. But there is only so much you can do. Sometimes, the combination of loveliness and display is such that, if it catches you unawares, you have no chance. You are going to look, before your conscious mind catches what you are doing..

[Malkin72]

No. It's nothing more than beautiful women being more pleasing to our eyes than any sunset on the beach or view from the mountaintop.

It's a gift for the eyes.

[Parducci]

"The entire African American male population frequently commented on my 'booty.' "
That's a racist comment.

[KellyJin]

It most definitely is not.

[Diane Corriette]

No it is not. As a black woman I know how much (the major of) black men love booty! Maybe "the entire African American...." is slightly over the top LOL - I can't imagine every single one of them has had the pleasure of seeing your booty but I get where you were going with it. A large number who got a look liked what they saw :)

I have to agree with @vorpalmusic - there is nothing wrong with sexuality and brains. I'm happy to be in both camps but if a man looks at my breasts for too long I will hit him with an intelligent question to break the trance :-)

Good for her - whoever this woman was - flaunt it and enjoy! I had to laugh out loud at "Her pants hung so low you could almost glimpse her betty." I hated myself growing up and wasted precious years covering myself up - it's such a huge waste of energy, especially when I could have been shaking my breasts and showing off my betty :)

To be honest I don't feel the need to flash everything I have to get attention - but I do believe in looking sexy (most of the time - you don't want to see me now sat at my PC!!!!) and being able to use my natural presence to get attention. There is nothing more sexy than a man or woman who is connected to what is naturally theirs!

[RESET1]

No it's not racist. As an African American male it is no secret and her observation is a compliment to her.