THE BLOG

There But For the Grace of God Go I

07/26/2013 05:45 pm ET | Updated Sep 25, 2013
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People are quite amazing. After hearing a couple is divorcing, it isn't uncommon for someone to be judgmental and say, "They didn't try hard enough." On the contrary, in the Anthony Weiner scandal, the very same people are ridiculing his wife, Huma Abedin, for standing by her "man." I am not in any way condoning Anthony Weiner's behavior, which on so many levels is abhorrent. Rather, I am recognizing the inconsistencies with people's philosophies, and ability to jump on the judgmental band wagon regarding Ms. Abedin.

As my mother always told me, "you never know what goes on behind closed doors." Although Anthony Weiner's publicist and crisis communications specialist are promoting him as a family man, no one but Anthony and Huma truly know their expectations regarding their relationship. For all anyone knows, Anthony and Huma may have agreed to an open marriage at the onset. If that were the case, such an agreement would obviously not be something that would be shared with, or condoned by, the general public. However, it would certainly put a different spin on how his actions affected their marriage.

Ms. Abedin's plea that Anthony Weiner's actions are between them is reasonable to a point. Just like all couples, they will have ups and downs, and have to make conscious decisions to stay in their marriage. However, unlike other couples, they have public personas. As such, they can't, and shouldn't, expect privacy when Anthony Weiner continues to make colossal mistakes via public, non-confidential forums.

Whether the critics feel sorry for Ms. Abedin, or label her as a political wife who is willing to endure the aftermath of her husband's inappropriate behavior, she is clearly an intelligent woman who has made a conscious decision. Whether or not you personally agree with her decision is quite frankly irrelevant to their marriage. The reasons people choose to stay in a marriage are vast. Making judgment calls based on your personal beliefs, is a very slippery slope, as you could easily find yourself living in a glass house.

Instead of dwelling on the impact Mr. Weiner's conduct has had on his marriage, the people of New York should be asking themselves if they want someone whose decision making ability is so terribly flawed to be in a position of power.

In the world of technology, the old adage, "never put anything in writing you wouldn't want your mother to see," has never been more appropriate, and certainly extends to pictures. Not only do you never know who will ultimately gain access to the information, but also, if you've been caught once, you don't keep repeating the same mistake.

If people are going to pass judgment, they need better aim. Do not be critical of a woman who is reeling in the wake of her husband's indiscretions. Rather, recognize that while Mr. Weiner may be able to excise his sexual predilections through therapy, he is clearly lacking the self control and decision making ability to be a public servant. In addition, those who were hired to protect him need to rethink how much rope he should have been given, because a cell phone with a camera and texting capabilities is clearly too much.