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Susan Shapiro Barash

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Why Husbands Are So Lame on Mother's Day

Posted: 05/04/2012 4:21 pm

Sixty percent of mothers tell me their husbands are awfully annoying and disappointing on Mother's Day. Over sixty-five percent say their husband's faults are more glaring than ever on this one day of the year that's meant to be sacred for mothers. More than seventy percent say that they can't recall the last conversation they had with their husbands that wasn't child-centered. And more than seventy percent report that their husbands are insensitive to how the day is to be planned.

So while enough women complain about their husbands on Valentine's Day, wedding anniversaries and their birthdays, Mother's Day seems to be taking the lead this year in terms of discontent. And it really doesn't matter if your children are three or thirteen, college age or beyond (although usually mothers of toddlers and babies haven't yet become disgruntled).

Reasons Why Husbands Fail Us

  • Somehow, on that one day when everyone is meant to cater to their mothers, husbands are clueless about how to get in the game by catering to their wives. Or why they are pressed into service.
  • Husbands who feel compelled to invite their own mothers on Mother's Day aren't paying attention to their wives' needs. This group of husbands often ruins the day for their wives, depending on the mother-in-law/daughter-in-law deal.
  • Although it's great to be a mother, Mother's Day is a reminder that it's been a very long while since Date Night. And that marriage with children is less than romantic much of the time.
  • It's unlikely that mothers blame their children for the stress in their lives -- because mothers tend to downplay this aspect of parenting. Thus, husbands are the culprits.
  • The main complaint of women with children under sixteen is that the husbands don't pitch in enough. This particularly upsets wives who have had serious conversations with their husbands about shared parenting, to no effect.

Shaping Up the Men

It isn't that mothers don't know that Mother's Day is a commercialized, idealized holiday, one where we tend to hold the bar high and are apt to be let down, even without finding husbands deficient -- it's that husbands could do so much better. For starters, gift shopping with a child (preferably a daughter) in tow works wonders. Add a store bought card or a homemade version, flowers and a box of chocolates to the mix. Husbands who decide to do the dishes, toss the garbage or walk the dog ratchet up their status on Mother's Day. And voilà, a less lame husband who aims to please.

Mothers, do you dread Mother's Day, too? Tell me about your Mother's Day gripes!

 
 
 

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