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Susan Smalley, Ph.D.

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Mindfulness Meditation -- Achieving 'Unentangled Participation'

Posted: 04/02/10 09:06 AM ET

No doubt we all time travel. Our minds constantly wander to the future or cruise to the past. I started studying mindfulness meditation when I discovered how often I wasn't really 'present' in my day to day activities.

For example, I might eat a meal while thinking about a project, my kid's homework, or something I failed to do, and not even notice my food disappearing. I might be in a conversation with a friend and actually thinking about my own troubles instead of listening to them. Worse, I might be on holiday and thinking about a past one or fantasizing about a future one while missing the one I was on.

Once I realized how often my mind wasn't present, I began to alter it. I did so with many exercises like meditation, yoga, walking in nature, and art. I've found it easier to 'be present' with any experience -- good or bad -- through these practices.

Ironically, it's made my time travelling mind a lot calmer and a lot happier in time travels as well. Now when my thoughts venture into the future -- to daydream, to imagine -- I do so without an emotional 'clinging' or 'striving' or 'wanting' attached to it. When I wander down memory lane, I do so with less wanting as well, without an anguish to wish I had made a different choice, or with a guilt or sadness attached to the choices I made.

I seem to be able to look at events in the past or future as if I'm being told a story or as if I am visiting a friend in a far-way land. A friend said it's like you are a time traveler but now have packed just the right suitcase -- with just the right clothes for the trip -- no more, no less; a perfectly packed suitcase to enable me as a player in the adventure to wear the right clothes and be adequately prepared for the part.

A monk, Ajahn Amaro, called this sort of awareness 'unentangled participation'. I can't think of a more perfect way of describing it.

Time travel or present moment experiences conducted with unentangled participation means experiencing life -- whether that is travelling to the future or past or not -- without the excess baggage. It is experience without becoming entangled or snared by emotions or thoughts of desire, wanting, striving, avoidance, fear, greed, etc. It's a means of accepting things as they are and at the same time, heightening one's awareness of the forces that entangle us.

I think of Br'er Rabbit when I hear the term 'unentangled' and the experience of being caught in an Elderberry bush of emotion or thought versus the freedom when we are not.

Mindfulness is a practice that hones our skill as Br'er Rabbit might, to move stealthily through the garden of life without getting 'caught'. It makes time travel so much more enjoyable.

 

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No doubt we all time travel. Our minds constantly wander to the future or cruise to the past. I started studying mindfulness meditation when I discovered how often I wasn't really 'present' in my day ...
No doubt we all time travel. Our minds constantly wander to the future or cruise to the past. I started studying mindfulness meditation when I discovered how often I wasn't really 'present' in my day ...
 
 
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khanti
Cultivator
06:27 PM on 04/03/2010
If only Tiger Wood's mother had taught him Right Mindfulness. Then again if only she had learn about Right Mindfulness.

Crossing the sea of samsara six holes will leak defilments into our vessel.
In silence meditation over and over we bale out those defilements,
only to refill them later again through our six senses.
Alas! Are we to drown exhaused before reaching the other shore?
Just practice Right Mindfuness to plug those senses.
Gate,gate, paragate.
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08:19 AM on 04/03/2010
I think Thich Nhat Hanh said it best. You wash the dishes to WASH THE DISHES. Not just to get it over with so you can go do something else. If you keep your mind on the task at hand, you don't need to keep looking for time to meditate to clear your thoughts.

On the other hand, I think it also has a lot to do with where you let your mind wander. If you asked the average male where his mind wandered off to, you'll almost always find that it went to a nice, if not fantasy-filled place. If you ask the average female where her mind wandered off to, you'll almost always find that it went to a very negative place, a worst case scenario place. So I think the next time you're engaged in mental masturbation, it's important to remember that masturbation is supposed to give you pleasure, not cause you pain.
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Vajara
vajara
09:18 PM on 04/02/2010
Thank you for this article on being mindful. It is so true that we are racing along without brakes on this engine of ours. While participating in several 'meaningful and mindful' sweat lodges and other therapeutic outings with our soldiers, we learn that once we slow our minds, while observing our breathing, we begin to see more clearly and experience what being alive and awake as a human being is like. We can be one with Nature and allow ourselves to experience this fantastic relationship we have with all that is.

Our recent Fly Fishing Expedition - http://jerryvest.pages.qpg.com
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jeanneyogini
04:35 PM on 04/02/2010
This is a beautiful aspiration to be more fully present at all times. One that may be hard to keep up, because the mind doesn't like to be controlled.

I have found that as the mind expands and becomes purified of stress through transcendental meditation, one's awareness is naturally more absorbed and fully present throughout the day. Though some people may believe that trying to maintain mindful awareness is a way to be more present, science is discovering that focus and attentiveness is a by-product of a coherent style of brain functioning. The benefit of deep transcending in meditation is that the brain becomes more orderly. Then the mind is powerful and capable of being present in daily life without having to contrive it.

The constant practice of watching ones thoughts and controlling the mind in activity can actually weaken the mind's natural creativity and inquisitiveness.
http://meditationforwomen.blogspot.com/2009/07/blog-post.html
04:24 PM on 04/02/2010
Burning 9 out of 10 pita breads while heating them became my mindfulness homework.

It takes between 10 - 20 seconds to heat a pita over the stove. Burning 9/10 pitas made me extremely frustrated. I had to find out why this was happening!

Oh boy, was I in for a huge lesson in seeing how I go about living life. While I stayed with my pita bread to heat it up following the instructions of my teacher, feeling all my feelings, being with the experience, being with my breath, etc. I observed how absolutely difficult it was to just do one thing at a time. I saw how I could not stay put to finish this task. I had to run to the fridge to get something, wash vegetables, cut them, put on music, etc. while leaving the bread on the fire and rushing to turn it over in between all those other tasks.

OMG, I could not, for the life of me to stay put. It was absolutely uncomfortable to pay attention to one thing at a time. As if it was not worth my time or something! As if I had to prove I can do more! It was one the most bizarre experiences I encountered with myself.

"Where else in my life do I behave this way? Where else do I not pay attention that might be so much more harmful than just burning a few pieces of bread?"
dr. manijeh
http://www.uniteinvision.com
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jeanneyogini
05:23 PM on 04/02/2010
You just need to strengthen your mind so you can do several things at once and not make mistakes. Not necessarily multi-tasking, but being able to entertain many levels of thought at once. Its natural, we all do it to some degree. There are more silent levels of the mind that just feel and intuit, and there are more active levels that plan and create, even while we eat or talk to others. When the mind is clear and free from the clouds of stress, it can actually be fully present on many different levels at once.
Practicing a meditation that allows you to dive deep within and fathom the full expanse of the mind culture this kind of heightened awareness.
01:21 PM on 04/02/2010
Being deliberate and purposeful with our conscious mind awareness as we go about our daily lives lies in the realm of logic, will and reason. However, a much larger portion of what we think/do/say is driven by the subconscious mind. Becoming "unentangled" requires mindfulness to penetrate into the subconscious mind and create congruency so we are not auto-pilot triggered into what Pema Chodron refers to as "biting the hook."

I like the Br'er Rabbit imagery too. :) Thanks Susan.

Suzanne Matthiessen
living-mindfully.com
12:04 PM on 04/02/2010
Fantastic post Sue! I love your image of Br'er Rabbit caught in an Elderberry bush of emotion/ thought.
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RMankovitz
Researcher, inventor, entrepreneur, author
11:47 AM on 04/02/2010
Unentangled participation?

As a researcher in the fields of anthropology, primatology, and zoopharmacognosy (animal self healing), I find it puzzling that modern humans have chosen a variety of isolated and lonely activities for stress reduction. Mindfulness, meditation, prayer, yoga, etc. are primarily solo practices in that they do not involve physically touching, or being touched by, another living human.

Well, if you look at what nature has planned for stress reduction in primates, examples abound in studies involving hunter-gatherer societies and our closest living genetic relatives, chimps and bonobos.

Stress reduction in nature is all about touch of another living being. In hunter gatherers, hugging, dancing together, and grooming are the way to go. In chimps and bonobos, it is all about grooming each other. Modernly, that might be translated into hugs, hand holding, massage, hair styling, dancing together, and good old lovemaking. Pets often serve as a surrogate for touch, with great results.

Roy Mankovitz, Director
http://www.MontecitoWellness.com
11:30 AM on 04/24/2010
That's absolutely right, Roy. Stress reduction is simply a beneficial side effect of meditation - and if stress reduction is what a person is after, even drinking a cup of warm tea is better, according to recent research at the University of London (47% reduction in cortisone as compared to meditation's 20%).

Meditation's real benefits exist in a realm chimps and bonobos may not be able to comprehend... (though being neither I can't be certain of that...!)

http://www.online-meditation-lessons.com
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Toni Bernhard
I wrote How To Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide
11:18 AM on 04/02/2010
In the 1990's, I had the great pleasure of being with Ajahn Amaro at some daylongs at Spirit Rock Meditation Center. He has a wonderful way with words and "unentangled participation" is yet another example of that. So many people think that when Buddhists talk about non-attachment and even mindfulness of the present moment, it's a call to do nothing, to not participate fully in life. But as your post points out, it's not that at all. The practice is to be present and active, just without entanglement so we don't get "tangled" in our opinions, our regrets, our fears.

As a person with chronic illness, I've had a lot of opportunity to practice "unentangled participation" when I time travel, whether it's my mind drifting into memories of so much that I've lost (a beloved career for one) or whether it's worries about the future. I love your idea of using mindfulness practice to allow us to travel into the past and future just to be there, but without attachment.

Toni Bernhard
www.howtobesick.com
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khanti
Cultivator
10:33 AM on 04/02/2010
This is a refreshing post Ms Smalley. Going back to the basics.

Right Mindfulness
Most of the time our mind is either in the state of like or dislike. We get stuck in either state without knowing it, deluded in that moment which becomes our temporary existence.
We often recognize other people’s problem but often fail to see our own state of mind when the same thing happens to us. Only when we have gone excessive or on an overdose of our like and dislike that we regret thereafter.
When things get out of hand then only do we recognize hatred, greed and regret being deluded in such a state of mind. Some people are stuck in delusion they become bitter and spiteful. Some get addict to their likes.
Greed and hatred is easy to recognize but when conditions are not ripe it stays as simply like and dislike. Delusion is when we are stuck on either sides. Right mindfulness is to know where the mind is. To move away from greed(loba) and hatred(dosa). To be awaken from a delusive state.
Keep in touch. More back to basics post. Thank you.
09:46 AM on 04/02/2010
There are two spiritual forces at work in our daily lives they are the ego and the conscience. Both of them are struggling for control of the mind this creates a tangled hierarchy. A mind that is being controlled by two masters is often times confused, delusional, and unable to see things clearly. Mindfulness/Insight meditation allows us to expand our awareness and see past the limits of our ego. If our goal is to experience the true nature of reality then we need to expand our awareness and unentangle our conscience.
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khanti
Cultivator
11:29 AM on 04/02/2010
That would bring duality?
01:21 PM on 04/02/2010
This duality of mind is brought about by our false perception of self. The ego looks at the world from a logical perspective. It uses logic to support its theories and delusions regarding the true nature of reality. The conscience looks at the world from an analytical perspective it determines weather something is right or wrong. If we use our conscience to analyze our ego we would realize that the driving force behind the ego is desire and attachment. Once we we liberate ourselves from all desire and attachment then the ego can be seen for what it really is a false perception. This is why analytical meditation is so important it allows us to determine truth from falsehood and gain wisdom.