This article first appeared in Susan's Parent Dish column at AOL
It's amazing how much can happen over a simple holiday meal. Heartfelt toasts can be offered, jokes shared and old stories delivered with a gusto that revitalizes warm and loving familial feelings.
Or, something else can happen.
Subtle -- or not so subtle -- judgments can be aired, old resentments can rear their ugly heads, or dirty looks can be shot across the table, all while doing something as harmless as asking someone to pass the salt.
Family gatherings have the potential to nourish the soul or inflict the kind of psychological pain that can take months to heal. In other words, big holiday reunions are not for the faint of heart, and not the place to come out if you're gay, or to introduce a same-sex partner to the family for the first time if everyone isn't at least a little prepared.
Here are a few things to keep in mind if you're planning to bring your same-sex partner home for the holidays:
- Make sure you and your partner are truly ready. I don't care how much in love the two of you are, introducing your boyfriend or girlfriend to Uncle Fred or Grandma can be awkward, even if they've known for years that you're gay. Be prepared for unspoken tension at the table, and let your partner know a bit about each family member so he or she has some ice-breakers or conversation starters to help grease the wheel as everyone adjusts.