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Susie Bright

Entries by Susie Bright

The Novel I Read a Million Jillion Times

(119) Comments | Posted September 8, 2011 | 8:32 AM

At the end of the summer I attended a parlor game, a book group, where one of the questions was, "Which novels have you read more than once?" 

It took a while to get to my turn, and while I was listening to the rest of the circle, I spied...

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Boob! Why Don't You Buck Like Thunder?

(2) Comments | Posted September 8, 2011 | 7:45 AM

If I were President, I would not be making a speech about jobs.

This is Superman time: Lights, Camera, Shut-up, ACTION.

I'd do something or die trying.

Instead of posing for the camera, I'd raid the piggy banks of the 0.5% -- you know who I'm talkin'...

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The Real Dope on Osama Bin Laden's Porn Stash

(8) Comments | Posted May 16, 2011 | 12:23 PM

Many people have written me to ask what I think of Ben Laden's porn stash.

I'll tell you what would be a real surprise:

"NO Porn Found at Scene of Crime! NONE!

"NO Porn found in barracks!

"NO porn found at home of powerful despot!"

Send me...

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The Terrible Secret of Women's Memoirs: Kill the Cookie

(44) Comments | Posted May 12, 2011 | 4:44 PM

"At the risk of making a dozen devoted enemies for life, I can only say the the whiffs I get from the ink of [women writers] are fey, old-hat, Quaintsy Goysy, tiny, too dykily psychotic, crippled, creepish, fashionable, frigid, outer-Baroque, maquillé in mannequin's whimsy, or else bright and stillborn."


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How to Get Your Favorite Author to Visit Your Home Town

(4) Comments | Posted March 15, 2011 | 2:34 PM

Most artists -- including the legendary and influential -- would give their eyeteeth to meet the folks who've taken the time to embrace their work. 

If you knew how easy it is to bring your favorite artist right into your living room, you might get inspired! I'm going to tell...

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Why Lying About Monogamy Matters -- Ross Douthat's Happy Ending

(94) Comments | Posted March 8, 2011 | 2:28 PM

Op-ed columnist Ross Douthat has written an argument for the NY Times called "Why Monogamy Matters" -- he says that women with minimal or virginal sexual experience are the happiest women in the land. Wheeeee!

Upon the story's publication, pink-cheeked schoolgirls in braids floated across the national horizon, clutching bouquets of...

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My First Catholic Confession in 40 Years Was on the iPhone

(14) Comments | Posted February 15, 2011 | 6:45 PM

Hells' Bells! A new app for the iPhone allows sinners to make an instant confession. The *official* Catholic Church asks the hard questions; you spill the beans.

Using the church's traditional "examination of conscience" criteria, here's my confession, the first one I've made in...

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Bob Guccione, Vanessa, and Me

(7) Comments | Posted January 19, 2011 | 2:29 PM

My late and legendary "porn boss" is in the news today, as FBI details emerge about the life of Bob Guccione:

"Before he rose to notoriety as the founder of Penthouse magazine, Guccione allegedly wrote letters soliciting customers to buy his dirty photos at the bargain rate of...
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Bloody Hands From Fighting Words: Those Who've Been Targeted Know

(7) Comments | Posted January 10, 2011 | 2:56 PM

Just before the people who tried to kill me picked up their weapon-- (the gun, the knife, the pipe wrench, the suitcase bomb, the broken scissors)-- here's what they yelled at me, their battle cry of elimination:

Ni**er- loving communist c*nt
Fu**ing dyke
Kike whore
Homosexual Harlot

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Tiger's Cuckold Fantasies -- What Do They Mean?

(4) Comments | Posted December 6, 2009 | 1:08 PM

US magazine has reprinted an erotic cuckold dream that Tiger Woods reportedly sent to one of his alleged mistresses. Woods told "Rachel" in an email that he envisioned her having sex with Derek Jeter and Bones star David Boreanaz -- at the same time. The juicy email describes his...
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After Twilight, Gothic Sex Takes a Bigger Bite

(3) Comments | Posted September 3, 2009 | 12:33 PM

What is it about a vampire and a werewolf that make everyone's pants fly off? Between the pandemonium over Twilight and True Blood, there's been renewed interest in why horror and sex have made a comeback in each other's arms.

I've been publishing erotic literary fiction since...
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The Shovel or the Sickle

(5) Comments | Posted January 26, 2009 | 3:27 PM

The time has come, the walrus said, to talk of many things: of shoes and ships and sealing wax and... NATIONALIZATION.

That word makes a lot of Joseph McCarthy's children see red -- but it's time to step out of the looking glass and put a little blush in...

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Ted Haggard Betting Pool

(20) Comments | Posted February 11, 2007 | 11:57 PM

Tedcowboy How much would you bet that Reverend Ted Haggard falls off the wagon in the very near future?

I'm serious. I know he just got a big check to shut up and leave town,...

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Better Than a Texas Whuppin'

(3) Comments | Posted November 8, 2006 | 1:33 PM

What's Better Than A Texas Whuppin'?

Sure, I chuckle along with Tom DeLay's homegrown description of last night's election results... but it gives me pause.

The GOP's agenda has been rejected because Americans want the beatings to stop.

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How Safe is Your Daughter?

(9) Comments | Posted October 24, 2006 | 4:03 PM

To my mind, it began with the milk cartons-- not the Washington pages.

One day, my breakfast bowl of cereal was no longer accompanied by a back-of-the-box advertisement for secret decoder rings or action-toy figurines.

Instead, the graphic that held my attention was the back of the...

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I'm Not Feeling Foley

(24) Comments | Posted October 2, 2006 | 12:39 PM

I am having an unexpected reaction to Congressman Foley's sex scandal.

--Not surprised that a gay-bashing, flag-waving, "save-the-children" Republican turns out to be a closeted chicken hawk who harasses cute boy pages in the House of Representatives.

--Not taken aback if the entire House leadership knew about...

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My Interview With Arianna

(0) Comments | Posted September 14, 2006 | 7:00 PM


Arianna Huffington is one of my most wellknown publishers -- but her original identity is as an author. We saw each other at the BlogHer conference this summer, and I asked if I could interview...

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Surviving for the Hell of It

(6) Comments | Posted September 5, 2006 | 12:01 AM

When it comes to fear, perhaps the greatest one of all is the fear of not being able to go on. The fear of living itself. It doesn't make for easy conversation, either.

My friend Kate Bornstein has just written a book called Hello Cruel World: 101 Alternatives...

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God is my Sex Toy Co-Pilot

(0) Comments | Posted August 18, 2006 | 9:30 AM

Behold the Bible-Strict marriage manual. These earnest Xtian bestsellers instruct newlyweds on how to have hot sex while avoiding all fantasies, masturbation-- and of course, the dreaded sodomy. Oral sex is good-to-go because no one can seem to find a gospel-line against it!

All the world's pushiest religions have...

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Girls Gone Wild-- Producer Gone to Hell

(1) Comments | Posted August 11, 2006 | 10:43 AM

By now, many of you know that the only celebudick in more trouble than Mel Gibson is Girls Gone Wild fiendmeister, Joe Francis.

The LA Times nailed Francis to the wall for assaulting one of their reporters and repeatedly putting on exhibitions of himself as a sadistic predator...

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