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2006 Sex Predictions I Wish Wouldn't Come True

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Meet my new favorite sex analyst, a psychologist in England named Petra Boynton, who some may want to call Cassandra.

She has a list of sex predictions for 2006, and even though they aren't reassuring, I'd say every single one of them is right:

* The gap between the sexual haves and have-nots will widen.

The availability of medication for the developing world and fears of medication or involvement in drug trials may continue to place people's lives at risk, whilst in the West we'll continued to be panicked and pampered by medications for sexual dysfunctions that make money for drug companies. Political changes will also mean the current focus on the economic and health needs of Africa and other developing countries are going to fall of the radar unless we're vigilant...

Globally (and that includes the US and UK) gaps in sex education, income and critical awareness will mean most people will remain ignorant (or anxious) about sex, and may feel they're missing out or not having 'proper sex.' This will be fueled by the consumer-driven approach to sex coverage...

* 2006 is going to be the year of the sex addict.

Many new television series in the pipeline that will be outlining this condition -- either showing it to be an epidemic or offering training for men who are 'cheaters' to curb their behavior. Despite no agreement on sex addiction, or concern from the psychiatric and medical professions of sexual behavior being pathologised or misdiagnosed, television researchers are ignoring this evidence and making programs anyway...

* Other television coverage will not be sex positive.

You can look forward to other programs that purport to cover sexual science but will most likely be labeling, blaming, or mocking participants. The journey of self-improvement will also continue its popularity with makeover shows planned to transform entire homes -- from décor to people's interpersonal relationships, all tapping into our anxieties about not living up to sex and relationship standards...

Overall the majority of print and broadcast media will continue to see the topic of sex as 'lite' and will remain uncritical in its approach to the subject. The current obsession with sex as being primarily biologically driven will remain the dominant discourse of all sex coverage...

* Sex will be about products and purchasing.

In 2006 you can expect to see sex becoming even more driven by consumerism and performance. You'll be seeing an increase in media coverage that's based on stories about sexual techniques, positions and activities that all come with product placements endorsed by 'sexperts' with something to sell -- their books, sex toys, stores, websites...

What you won't see, but will be part of this trend, is that these experts will only be speaking to journalists as long as they can get a plug for their product/themselves. If not, they won't bother. This means sharing high-quality knowledge isn't first on their agenda, and many of these self-appointed experts won't have a great deal more than self-promotion to offer...

Her last comment about the future of the "sexpert" made me think twice. I've often been asked why I'm not a millionaire from "selling sex." I'm afraid the reason is because I approach erotic education like a public librarian rather than an entrepreneur.

I can't imagine charging someone to tell them where their clitoris is, or that their cock is okay -- making some ridiculous enigma out of what should be basic information. This "sex addict" crap is yet another way for con artists to make money off of sexual ignorance.

When I wrote my first book about creating your own sexual philosophy, there was part of me that felt guilty to even write it... I wanted to say, "Here's the basic idea, you'll love doing it yourself," rather than, "I am such a hot babe -- aren't you dying to know my secrets?"

Screw sex secrets! Why do you have to buy anything to have a wonderful erotic life? You don't. There's part of me that wishes I didn't make my living this way... I don't want to be associated with the Madison Ave. SexPhony Brigade.

My new book, Best American Erotica 2006 is coming out next week, and there will be certain media who call to ask me how this book can get them laid. GAK.

I didn't read these BAE stories, or fall in love with the writers, because someone promised to punch my ticket. I dig them because they inspire me, erotically and artistically -- which are kinda the same thing in my book. It's catnip, not superglue!

What I want to ask Petra, and all of you, is: How do you battle the sex-killers of advertising and adversity? This stuff she's talking about is a toxic sludge that is turning people off more than other ingredient in public life. We're fighting for our erotic lives here; it's no joke. Care to tell me any of your resolutions?