03/03/2006 05:23 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

WomenHating Anonymous

I hereby christen this week: The GynoMassacree.
My heroines are dying left and right, and some pickled asses called "governors" in South Dakota and Mississippi are outlawing abortion.

If I could drag these pus-creants through the streets naked on a bed of nails, it would be too good for them.

No, for true justice, I would have to wave my labyris over their heads and turn them into desperate, pregnant, 15-year-old girls.

When Governor Rounds (ND) and Barbour (MS) discover that their wife, daughter, or mistress is unpredictably pregnant, I know they will waste no time in arranging an abortion by a top surgeon. They will call in every privilege and advantage. We've seen their canceled checks before.

The governors' legislation is their idea of election-cheap moral posturing at the expense of the young, the poor, the isolated. Their hypocrisy is a killing floor, and it's the kind of blood they'll never wash off their hands. What do you say to men who promote a woman-hating ethos that never met a girl they couldn't grind into a shallow grave? They don't even deserve my spit.

Do these CockNazis want women to have sex at all? Of course not, not unless it's under their personal supervision. They are the living obscenity of patriarchy. Karma-wise, they are condemned men, but they will suffer the women and children as long as they are alive to patrol wombs.

These are such ugly times.

Why are all the good people dying, and all the monsters alive? On days like this that I am on the precipice of Dark Ages, Act Two. The things in which I take comfort feel selfish and small-- my scrap-privileges.

Plus, you know how small events only seem to underscore the big ones?

Last night my daughter and I were threatened, bullied, and thrown out of a club-- where I was the headlining performer for the night. As you can imagine, they didn't listen to me when I explained that-- they were too busy forcing us out into a catastrophic rainstorm outside their little red door.

The show got saved by our producers with seconds to spare-- but afterward, several friends mentioned that the club muscle doesn't "do that shit" to men, just to women. I was an easy mark to intimidate. My natural defense was to be reasonable, deferential, and worried that I'd done something wrong to invite the abuse.

So I took it, I took their abuse. They quite literally frightened me into the night.

If I could go back and do it all over again, I think I'd prefer to pistol whip the SOB's and have them sent with a toe tag to some South Dakota biker bar where they can see if they're tough enough for the locals.

So why do women just take it? Why do I surrender so often myself? Why isn't there a Lysistrata-style uprising every time we're up against the wall? Why are the bullies the agenda-setters every where I turn?

I see Molly's Blog has posted DIY abortion instructions for the women of South Dakota, which are not for the queasy, but make it surgically clear what's at stake. Read her followup posts, too.

Please invite me to any effigy burnings, voodoo curse-bindings, or Shaming Rituals that you may be in store for "The Men Who Will Never Get Laid Again." I'm in the mood for retribution and some genuine grief.

Mood: Funereal


This isn't about the babies:

Referring to [pro-choice advocates], Tony Perkins of the conservative Family Research Council said, "Their idea of reducing unintended pregnancies is more sex education and distribution of contraceptives. ... That's not the solution, that's part of the problem. If they want to start promoting abstinence, fine - but they won't."

The Great Stop Fucking Him post:

This is about women having sex, and who gets to be in charge of that sex.That's what it all comes down to, isn't it? At present, there is a movement in place to make sure that (to lift a phrase from Dan Savage) men have orgasms, and women have babies.

It Takes One To Tango.... In South Dakota

What's missing from the recent news of South Dakota's sweeping abortion ban?

Utah: Incestuous dad knows best-- Lawmakers block exception from abortion consent bill

Incest is no exception to a father's right to know what's going on in his daughter's life.

Broadsheet: Stop Fucking Him, Ladies:

Winning the award for "most laughable statement if only it didn't make you cry" is Steve Holland, the Mississippi representative, sadly a Democrat, who introduced the [abortion ban] bill. His explanation for why he introduced the legislation? "I have a strong dilemma within myself on this," Holland told the AP. "I can only impregnate. I can't get pregnant myself." Oh really? Then stop voting like you can.

Best Dude Outside This Blog Writing About This Atrocity:

These are the things you need to know. We are at that point. We are right now at the apex of some great and dirty battle, some ugly siege, the nation so overrun by the Christian right that they finally get to make some sort of grand and desperate statement, a vicious volley of stabs to the heart of progress and sexual rights, before being run out of Congress this fall and Bush becomes a lame duck and the nation slowly wakes up from this catatonic Republican-bled haze.

Why more than half of the 6,000,000 pregnancies in the US each year are unintended:

At a time when policymakers have made reducing unintended pregnancies a national priority, 33 states have made it more difficult or more expensive for poor women and teenagers to obtain contraceptives and related medical services, according to an analysis released yesterday by the nonpartisan Guttmacher Institute.From 1994 to 2001, many states cut funds for family planning, enacted laws restricting access to birth control and placed tight controls on sex education...

Email Governor Rounds of South Dakota and TELL HIM WHAT YOU THINK. Do it--I don't care if you get a form letter back. DELUGE HIM. And send him a coat hanger while you're at it. I did:

You have shamed yourself as a human being and a public servant. You will never get over this. Women in your family who you love will never trust you again. Men will not respect you. You have disgraced yourself and your leadership position. There is no defense for what you have done. When you ever come to your senses, I hope you will make a full apology and amends for all the lives you have damaged in this hypocritical political excursion.
My maternal family is from your region, btw. Thank god my mother isn't alive to see this happen.

March 01, 2006 in Sex & Politics | Permalink | Comments (23)