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Suz Redfearn
Suz Redfearn is a Northern Virginia-based writer whose pieces have appeared in The, Slate, Salon, Politico, the Washington Post and Men's Health, as well as several essay collections including Tied in Knots: Funny Stories from the Wedding Day (Seal Press/Avalon) and Whose Panties Are These? and Other Misadventures: Funny Women Write from the Road (Publishers Group West). She has also done commentary for public radio. A native of Lake Worth, Fla., Redfearn graduated from Loyola University in New Orleans. She is mom to two small kids, both adopted at birth. She has one golden retriever and has fostered many more. Redfearn can be reached at

Entries by Suz Redfearn

Goldstock: 400 Golden Retrievers Gather for One Weekend

(8) Comments | Posted September 2, 2014 | 5:09 PM


Close your eyes and picture the smiling, fluffy bundle of mirth that is a golden retriever.

Now picture 400 golden retrievers galloping across grassy fields to a long dock jutting into quiet lake and each dog launching him or herself into...

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My Brother Loves Glenn Beck, But I Still Love My Brother

(13) Comments | Posted September 30, 2009 | 8:01 AM

My brother rolled into D.C. from Boston on a chartered bus, arriving in the dark outside a Marriott.

I scanned the pack of fairly nondescript folks standing in front of the hotel, and there he was: Paul, smiling and waving. My kind brother, 11 years my senior. The brother...

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Strange Bedfellow

(1) Comments | Posted July 20, 2009 | 3:33 PM

There are just some things I'll never understand. Calculus is one. Pharmaceutical-industry pricing is another. And I'll never understand why I awoke in the night when I was 7 to find a human turd next to my head.

Math and medical money matters I may get to the bottom of...

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Can I Get a Granddad Up in Here?

(1) Comments | Posted July 7, 2009 | 1:04 PM

I stared at the old man for way too long. I couldn't help it; he was so dear, sitting in his car smoking a pipe. Bald and wrinkly, he appeared a little weak, his back bending him toward the steering wheel while he waited for his lady, or someone. The...

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Strange Love

(0) Comments | Posted June 23, 2009 | 10:23 AM

I emerged from the vet clinic toting the big pet carrier. In it was my cat Habbib. At age 19, he had just been pronounced blind, likely from his lymphoma metastasizing. Habbib was supposed to die last fall when vets first diagnosed his cancer, but he didn't. He plugged on,...

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My Child, the Chupacabra

(0) Comments | Posted June 8, 2009 | 9:41 PM

It all started with namaste.

My husband is a lapsed Catholic. I am an atheist who occasionally bends agnostic. Struggling with what sweet ritual to do with our almost-three year old just before bed, we started saying namaste and bowing slightly, and she would return it, pronouncing it...

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I Love Xanax

(8) Comments | Posted May 25, 2009 | 7:58 PM

I love Xanax.

Is that wrong? I hope not. Because I have no plans to give it up. And don't you try to make me, either.

I would hardly say my usage is yet at the criminal level; when it's high stress around here (deadlines mounting; two year...

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Ape Sh*t

(10) Comments | Posted May 12, 2009 | 4:44 PM

You might want to sit and think a minute before taking your kid to see gorillas and the like.

Look what happened when I recently took my 2.75-year old to the Great Ape House at the National Zoo in DC. After a few innocent moments watching a mom gorilla...

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Cinderella Bitch Slap

(23) Comments | Posted April 28, 2009 | 6:54 AM

So you think you have it in you to take your little kid to Disney World? You might want to think again based on the lessons I learned earlier this month. Here they are, in no particular order.

Two year olds are too young for the Magic Kingdom. People...

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Forcing Mickey

(0) Comments | Posted April 14, 2009 | 3:50 PM

My husband and I are in a race against time to shove all things Disney down our kid's throat.

This runs counter to the advice in the parenting books. Don't do that, they all say, in or near chapter 1. And our inner voices advise us to stop, too....

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Fallen to Pollen

(1) Comments | Posted March 31, 2009 | 2:27 PM

I used to go around secure in the notion that I was hearty farm stock.

You could put me out in the fields or on the plains and nothing would go wrong. Nothing! I wouldn't do any work out there or anything, but I wouldn't wilt or get sick,...

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Germ Bag: No Sh*t

(7) Comments | Posted March 13, 2009 | 10:38 AM

I used to think poop was hilarious. And vomit, too. And snot. And whatever else whatever else flows with force from the body and can be flung about by monkeys.

How could I help it? Body expulsions are the original humor. They look funny, they smell funny, they sound...

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GERM BAG: Tot Darwinism

(8) Comments | Posted February 27, 2009 | 7:15 AM

My kid is a tough little broad. She's only two, but we can already tell she will not be taking any crap from any age mates. In fact, she just ambled home from pre-preschool with one of those Ident-A-Kid cards bearing a mug shot so fierce that we're certain no...

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Inauguration, Orange

(1) Comments | Posted January 26, 2009 | 6:07 PM

Orange and purple. Both are strong, passionate colors. Both are derivative of red. Both are said to have no other words that rhyme with them.

But on Inauguration day, those colors couldn't have been more divergent.

If you had a purple ticket to see Barack Obama take the...

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