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How To Have A Better Midlife Crisis

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Alamy
Alamy

A midlife crisis -- if you fully embrace the stereotype -- can be expensive. Fancy car... trophy spouse... new body... new career. But -- as with so many things -- your buck buys you more when you take your midlife crisis to a tropical paradise and teach it to dance the salsa. Consider these alternatives...

Why buy a new red sports car when you could...

Take that $80,000 and buy a condo on the beach in Panama, Brazil, or Mexico? A condo will accommodate more of your friends than a sports car ever will, and the ocean view is better through a picture window than a windshield. (You'll save on insurance, too.)

Why get liposuction when you could...

Spend that $8,000 on a month in Buenos Aires taking tango lessons? Just by going to Buenos Aires, you'll set yourself up to lose weight -- excellent beef, amazing wine and streets that are made for walking. Plus the tango is the natural enemy of fat, laziness and low libido. As the Argentines have known for years, you cannot dance the tango without feeling younger and sexier, which is why they generally seem so young and sexy. That's something that simple liposuction can't do for you.

Why dye your hair an outrageous color and buy a new wardrobe of designer hip-hop gear that will make your friends laugh at you behind your back when you could...

2013-03-24-marketsinEcuador.jpg

Use that $1,000 in the markets of Ecuador to buy the pair of leather pants you've always wanted... and use the leftover $920 to spend a month living in the Andes going to the spas and wearing your hair however you want. At that price, you wouldn't even have to wear the leather pants. And while you enjoy world-class mountain views, you can chuckle at your friends back home posting Facebook photos of themselves with their hair dyed outrageous colors.

Why spend $15,000 on a nose job and a chin lift just so you can hide in the house until the swelling goes down when you could...

Get the same work done in Costa Rica for less than half the price, complete with pampered recuperation at an all-inclusive hotel on the beach. Then, with the $8,000 you still have in your pocket, reserve a lot on the hill overlooking that beach and start planning your dream villa.

Living and traveling internationally comes wrapped in excitement, challenge and adventure --what better (and more affordable) antidote to the trials and tribulations of a midlife crisis?