Client 9

It was hell going up and down in the elevator at 985 Fifth Avenue with Eliot Spitzer and his wife and three young daughters, pretending everything was fine. I was their occasional neighbor until four years ago, frequently staying in the apartment of a friend whose master bedroom was directly below the Spitzer's.

The 46-apartment, 26-story building is made like a vault. I seldom heard even 79th Street traffic. But the common master bathroom venting system didn't lie. On more than one occasion, my friend and I wondered what to do when the raging and abusive language -- Eliot Spitzer's -- reached operatic levels at 1am and later.

Had Spitzer not been the Attorney General of New York State and had his father, Bernard, not owned the luxury rental property with sweeping views of Central Park, I would have called a domestic abuse hotline. As it was, I didn't.

Spitzer's now-famous gubernatorial outbursts -- including to New York State Assembly Minority Leader Jim Tedisco: "I'm a [expletive] steamroller, and I will destroy you" -- are not unfamiliar in tone to me. There seemed to be graver and more pernicious problems in the Spitzer household than among testy colleagues in the New York State Assembly. I smiled at the Spitzer children, exchanged hellos in the lobby, and carried around information I hadn't sought and didn't want.

One has to wonder why an early overachiever like Silda Wall Spitzer became so increasingly invisible as a New York wife and mother. She had graduated from a small Baptist college in North Carolina, married Peter Stamos now director of Sterling Stamos (a $3 billion money management firm) during their second year at Harvard Law in 1982, divorced him 29 days later, graduated in 1984 and then practiced at the white shoe law firm Skadden Arps -- out-earning Spitzer, whom she married in 1987.

Whatever the symptoms of the Spitzer marriage, the solutions for the family may be long, arduous, and difficult to achieve. Both Spitzers are proven achievers -- I hope they find the strength and courage to make the journey--together or separately.

News of FBI wiretaps travels fast. But not as fast as through the ventilation system at 985 Fifth.

Comments

[darker]

Moral:

Americans punish SEX but NOT CORRUPTION.
Sex is bad but corruption is --OKAY?
And Republicans EXEMPT FROM INVESTIGATION.
WIRETAPPING is about catching Democrats & others.

What's all the FBI, CIA WIRETAPPING all about?
Why are middle-income Americans paying for a FOR PROFIT Iraq invasion that benefits
the "nanny state for the rich & corporate welfare queens" liek Big Oil, war profiteers and Cheney's CORRUPT Halliburton Corp.?

It's time for CORRUPT guys like JOE BRUNO to be swarmed by media and INVESTIGATED BY F.B.I. for his chronic CORRUPTION.

CORRUPT power-guys "on-the-take" for decades, like Joe Bruno who has siphoned out our tax money--WHY is he still boss in ALBANY NY?
How stupid are we?

NYState Legislature's CORRUPT JOE BRUNO shoud go next.

Enough of Bruno's manipulations, posing as the FAKE "innocent farm boy" and his lies and corruption. Bruno has been at his nasty game long enough. He has paralyzed the NYState Legislature for many years.

It's time for Bruno to go. The FBI should INVESTIGATE Bruno's corrupt practices. Or are Republicans EXEMPT FROM INVESTIGATION? What's all the WIRETAPPING all about?
Getting DIRT on everybody else?

The spotlight has been focused on Spitzer, but now it's time to
refocus on JOE BRUNO whose time is way past "over" in the NYS Legislature.
It's time to FOCUS ON AND OUTST the CORRUPTION in Albany NY LEGISLATURE.

[yummymaplesyrup]

I don't think there is anything wrong with posting the article. If anyone would have called a hotline about Eliot Spitzer being abusive (mental or otherwise) we all know that nothing would have happened. These guys have a way of explaining everything away or having threatened the wife and children to not tell anything or anyone. It is all about keeping up appearances.

Just listening to this guy is enough to make me question what he is all about. Guess his motto is "do as I say not as I do". What a twit. So glad he did himself in, we don"t need men like that in charge of anything.

We hear time after time how women put up with abuse from men and in worst case scenarios loose their and their children"s lives at the hands of "crazy" guys.

[PennP]

I'm agreeing with the majority of the comments here. Capitalizing on the pain and distress of this family is shameful, Suzanne O'Malley. You must really dislike the Spitzers, especially Mrs. Spitzer, to have posted this Enquirer-type garbage. But what it says about you is actually worse.

Your felt that your friend's "sweeping views" were more important than the safety of Mrs. Spitzer. You puzzle disingenously about why this "early overachiever" who, by your account, was being abused, "became so increasingly invisible as a New York wife and mother." That's what abuse does to women, Suzanne. It isolates and depresses the victims. You chose your friend's specatular views over helping her, and now you wonder about the consequences of what your silence abetted. You might want to look into finding some of that "strength and courage" you hope the Spitzers have.

[VosVos]

We could be really polite and merely call this "tacky." I would rather just call you what you are: "an opportunistic swine" who despite what you now call a dangerous situation decided not to save the poor woman above you. I seriously doubt what you now report is true. If it is, how nice, you sat by while someone was attacked. You had the energy to sling this mud but not enough to make an anonymous call to the police to save a woman and her children? I feel pretty bad for what is going on with the Spitzers. It is of no importance and only satiates our most base desire to see people fall. I would be mortified if I had a friend who wrote this schlock. I suspect you haven't learned to write, put it away, review it, and then send. You merely vomit on the keyboard and send. You sound like you are taking lessons from Coulter. If you had any brains you would delete this post and pray your parents don't see it. WWMD = What Would Mama Do? I suspect you were raised by better. Many of us don't like Spitzer. Yet, it doesn't mean we have lost all class and intelligence and are posting such trash.

[Queenofthedamned]

I find this post to be enlightening. It corroborates my suspicion that the reason Mrs. Spitzer allowed herself the even more public humiliation of standing beside her husband as a prop for a photo op is that she has been the vicitm of an abusive husband for some time. After years of emotional berating, cut off from her own accomplishments, what little self-esteem she may have is frayed at best. Spitzer's behavior--control and power-seeking POS that he is--that HE was/is somehow entitled to seek the "services" of another woman, is evidence of the familiar pattern of an abuser. What's also familiar is the desire of most of the posters here to look the other way. It's "none of anyone's business" whether a husband's abusing his wife. How DARE anyone say so.

[VOTER]

No one is saying people should look the other way when abusing is taking place.

However the author did just that didn't she?

And I wonder why this blog was so quickly removed from the Main Page?

Too bad it disappeared because a discussion of gossip vs action could have been

helpful.

[VOTER]

"THANK YOU" so much for the first hand "venting" of the Spitzers troubled marriage.

We NEVER would have assumed they fought and had personal problems. :- /

And we are GRATEFUL your "news" has been given literary clearance.

Your friends were likely tired of your gossipy talk about the Spitzers troubles but now

you have vindication and a pay check. Life can be sweet. True?

Hopefully one of YOUR NEIGHBORS puts pen to paper and will sometime in the future tell us

all about YOUR household. Call it Karma but your lack of discretion will probably

come your way. Be ready.

Time to seal up YOUR vents, windows, etc..

[yankeezog]

Dear "VOTER": If you're going to be snide and sarcastic, at least get your facts right. Huff Post contributors -- Ms. O'Malley included -- are volunteer writers. Blogging isn't the realm of those who are just looking for a pay check. Bravo to Ms. O'Malley for bringing new information to light. Isn't that what journalism is all about?

[VOTER]

Thanks for the information.

I am happy that Ms. O'Malley will not get a paycheck for her gossip article.

Why are you so willing to offer, "Bravo?"

I don't know if Ms. O'Malley was or was not in a position to call 911.

The police would likely have never gotten past the doorman.

Then again, we will never know. Mr. Spitzer had friends but also a large number

of enemies ready to take him to task. Perhaps the policeman on duty would have

insisted upon speaking with the couple.

However, I am wondering why Ms. O'Malley didn't seek out Mrs. Spitzer, in private, and

tell her their arguments were being heard through the venting system and offer support?

Mrs. Spitzer would have perhaps changed the venting system so as to prevent being overheard.

Or would she have been glad to know that there was someone aware of her situation?

I disagree with you that Ms. O'Malley's information does any good and has

any place in journalism. It is years late and now must be filed under: GOSSIP.

[mambomary]

Good and revealing post about a troubled marriage. Can't understand why other readers find it tacky. Obviously the luv guv has anger issues, and he created many enemies during his first year in Albany. But his trophy wife doesn't come across here as any saint either and I can only feel sorry for his three daughters---and the state of New York--because of the havoc created by these spoiled rich kids. To hell with both of them.

[longislandlol]

Sad-- very sad-- anyone ever find out about the annulled month old marriage to super rich Stamos? She grew up very rich- married two even richer guys-- and it just goes to prove that money can't buy happiness...

[mombabytiger]

Tacky. Really, really tacky. This never should have been posted.

[kpod]

This didn't even merit publication in the Enquirer. The right response was to call the domestic abuse hotline, the wrong response: well, to wait until now to write this unsubstantiated trash.

[BARRISTER]

My exact thoughts. Who asked her for this trash talk?? She who was obviously sleeping in an illicit relationship with some man is now spewing forth some untestable putrid gossip about Spitzer. Where was she before now.?? Stuff it where the "friend" used to stuff "it" when you were busy eavesdropping on a happilly married couple.

[moodyring]

The more I read about Silda, the sadder I feel for her. The sadder in an empathetic way, not a judgmental, derisive way.

[SharonWantsToTalk]

As person who has experienced control and abuse I never had any red flags thrown up by Elliott . But then I never met him personally. Let this allegation lead where it will. I'm sure if it has merit, the media might find it. If it is true, I sure you are not the only one with personal exposure. In addition, if true, I hope the women in his life can make a break from him. Its hard enough to be in an abusive relationship and try to leave. I can;t imagine being a public figures wife and trying to do so.

[LeoMarvin]

How is this post anything but mean-spirited voyeurism? Does it add anything to the present controversy? Do you think reading another first-hand account of what a monster their dad is will comfort the kids? The only sense I can make of this sort of piling on is that we live in a world with a commercial niche for TV that shows families tearing themselves apart in real time with trust-shattering revelations. It's sick and it's sad. I suppose I understand it, but that doesn't mean we should validate it.

[Ono4Hoopono]

That was my sense at first, too. I hate piling on. And of course we all need to take this information with a grain of salt for that reason and apply the innocent until proven guilty ethic. But revelations like this, if true, are necessary because we need to know that our leaders are not infallible. Otherwise we will keep on holding people to such a ridiculously high standard that they then have to live up to until their psyche cracks, and then we get them acting out in a hypocritical situation like this one or Larry Craig or any one of the many other ones. And then it comes back around to bite us because they end up passing ridiculous laws that keep people in prison way too long for victimless crimes, or oppress rights of people in various lifestyle subcultures that our society finds threatening, and the vicious cycle of false morality continues.

[LeoMarvin]

I agree, but what we already know about his philandering after having prosecuted and preached about prostitution should be more than enough to stick a fork in any illusions of infallibility. It's only this post I object to, because it seems to exist just to pour gasoline on a fire that would burn very nicely without it.

[Ono4Hoopono]

True dat.

[elkabong]

I feel bad for the little girls. That much anger at home can't be very comfortable.

[signifyingnothing]

Maybe what will help them is more sensationalized articles on the Huffington Post!

[ErinBrock]

The only problem I have with this post is that you didn't call the domestic abuse hotline when you were neighbors. Real estate in New York is hard to come by, but not hard enough that neighbors should turn a deaf ear to something like this. Even if real physical "abuse" wasn't going on inside the Spitzer apartment, having the cops show up at her door might have been a wake-up call to Silda that someone else in the world thought her husband was a nightmare too.

It's too bad that Silda feels she needs to stand by her man, but after all, she's subjected her children to this man for years. She's not a victim. She's a very educated adult. She's clearly placed being the governor's wife above all else.

As for the Spitzers' "private life" - they gave that up with Eliot Spitzer's desire for a meteoric rise in politics. There's no such thing as a private life when you are trying to sell yourself as a political savior with your eye on the White House.

[rucognizant]

Emotional abuse is every bit as hurtful as physical abuse!

[kimk3]

I think this was an interesting perspective on the situation. We all wonder... why would someone who seemed to have it all get into this kind of a mess? It seems from your observations, this was not an isolated incident or two but there were big problems for a long time.

[redjacket]

And why exactly didn't you call the domestic abuse hotline? Because he used to be atty gen'l? Because his dad was rich? Did you think your friend would lose her apartment? Pretty lame, not something I would be proud of.

[nisha]

What do you imagine the precinct cops would do to the state's Attorney General? Or the Governor? I mean, how naive can you be? Good move to out the story now, though, it's never too late, especially as that much shouting indicates physical violence too.

[retreadite]

Be careful. Speaking the truth about the "Steamroller" could get you banned from HuffPo.

[sarge]

"I smiled at the Spitzer children, exchanged helloes in the lobby, and carried around information I hadn't sought and didn't want."

So why unburden yourself now? If Eliot did anything to warrant a call to the "domestic abuse hotline", the way to handle it is call the "domestic abuse hotline", not write a blog post about it.

I can't decide if the purpose of this article was to self-aggrandize, maliciously disparage the Spitzers, or both.

There is no reason I, nor anyone else, should be reading what Eliot did in his hotel room or living room. Public figures should be entitled to private lives.

[dibby]

Sarge, I have to agree with you. We have no business here, the only reason to blog like this is to be sensational. There are two little girls here who don't need me or anyone else typing about them. Besides, you could have been talking about any number of couples across the country.

[abfDC]

I find this post to be uncomfortably opportunistic. Why choose now to come out with this?

Silda does not need this from you now. Give her the respect she deserves.

[elion10]

agreed

[avrang]

Exactly! This is a sorry attempt to get readers. Suddenly, after he gets caught for using callgirls, you come out to claim he must have been abusing his wife. What a jib!!

[covered]

"...She had graduated from a small Baptist college in North Carolina, married Peter Stamos now director of Sterling Stamos (a $3 billion money management firm) during their second year at Harvard Law in 1982, divorced him 29 days later..."

And this is relevant to this entire episode...how?

[wadenelson1]

Agreed.

[Asunderlander]

An impressive story and all too revealing. Seems like further proof of the alien psychology of political spouses. I'm really wish more wives would simply refuse to stand next to their defrocked husbands.