Enlightened Sex: Women's Tantric Breathing And Orgasm

"The single most important key to sex that I've yet discovered is conscious rhythmic breathing; the more you breathe the more you feel and the more you come alive. Many of us breathe only enough to survive but not to live fully. Deep breathing is a door to waking up to healing and to more personal freedom."
-- Annie Sprinkle, PhD., Tantrica & Ex-Porn Star

Breathing doesn't seem very sexy but it's the key to orgasmic pleasure and self-empowerment for women and to lasting longer for men. The benefits of learning new, simple ways of breathing are extraordinary and have direct health benefits, too. Breathing deeply into your belly increases relaxation, decreases tension and stress, helps women focus on pleasure and puts more oxygen into your blood stream. Oxygen is what delivers the 'O' in Orgasm.

Many years ago I had my first introduction to ecstatic breathing. While this experience was more cathartic than sensual it produced a powerful understanding in me about the power of breath. Up until that point in my life I had never had an experience like this. I had taken many psychedelics before this but my breath experience was so far beyond any of that. I quickly began to build and incorporate breathing techniques into every aspect of my life. Breath is a tool for transformation and can be used to play in the many fields of ecstatic living.

Breathing techniques are utilized in all forms of yoga, meditation, Taoist and Tantric practices and even health activities like exercise and blood pressure reduction. There are calming breaths that incorporate deep belly breathing for relaxation and there are 'charging' breaths for increasing focus and turn-on.

For instance, did you know that you can easily lower your blood pressure by calmly breathing into your belly through your nose and out through your mouth? Try this the next time you're about to go to the doctor, give a presentation or discuss a difficult topic with someone you love. It works.

It's well known that women have a harder time than men focusing on sensual and sexual activities. In studies done with Functional MRI technology scientist can see the oxygen flow to the various regions of brain during different situational inputs. Men tend to focus most of their active brain regions on the sexual activities. Women, on the other hand, have multiple regions in their brains going off. Areas that involve worry, attention to things they didn't get done during a given day, the children, external noise, etc. - their brains are busy and not on the activities they're supposed to be on at that moment.

This is why experts suggest all kinds of things that will get women thinking about sex and in the mood. Sexy talk, hints whispered in her ear, light and flirtatious touching, kissing, music, candlelight, lots of foreplay - and all long before you get to the bedroom. Though this is a generalization, and not true of all women, it is a good signpost to go by, especially if it's been a very hectic day and you're counting on a great date in bed.

Each of us is responsible for our own pleasure. Blaming your partner isn't going to get you very far. Knowing your own body and the sexual stimuli you desire is of the utmost importance. But there is another thing a woman can do to advocate for her sexual focus and presence. It will increase the blood flow to her extremities (think clitoris, G-spot and pelvic area) and help her focus her mind on sexual turn-on and the stimulus she is receiving. That 'thing' is breathing.

I'm not talking about calm breathing as in meditation or yoga. To focus the mind and increase blood flow a woman can do several specific breathing techniques that are very simple yet effective in moving her much faster into the 'zone' of body/mind unity. One breath pattern, in particular, is easy to remember and use. This one is a type of panting breath that is specifically for increasing oxygen and nitric oxide (this is the stuff in your blood that Viagra targets) in the blood.

It's best described in this short video above. I demonstrate and explain this breathing pattern so it's easy to grasp. Practice it before you get to the bedroom a few times so you have it down. Don't start to vigorously at first - take it easy so you don't hyperventilate. A more advanced practice would include visualizing the out-breath as a flow of loving energy washing over your body. You can use it multiple times during any sexual encounter when you notice your mind is wandering, you've 'slipped' from a plateau or you want to enhance the experience you're already having. As you get better at it you'll find it adds a new dimension to your pleasure.

Suzie Heumann is the founder of Tantra.com. She studies, writes, has authored three books and makes films about conscious sex, Tantra and the Kama Sutra. Check out Tantra.com Premium for the most comprehensive tantra training available on the Internet!

Follow Suzie Heumann on Twitter: www.twitter.com/SuzieHeumann

Comments

[MikeDu]

Breathing is good, proper breathing is better. "Tantric" breathing mixes up religious mumbo-jumbo with your sexual urges, which sounds like an express train ticket to crazyland. This is not a religious knock, I'm currently halfway through a very nice 750 page book on Hunduism. But conflating sexual ecstacy for religious ecstacy is a dangerous phychological road to go down.

[Diana Daffner]

We all naturally breathe IN.. it's a survival instinct, and we especially tend to breathe in when we're trying to focus on something, as women often do in an effort to "reach climax." Breathing IN gives us some sense of control. Breathing OUT is a relaxation, a surrender. In both Tantra and T'ai Chi teaching, I often remind clients and students to breathe OUT. While, yes, both in and out breathing usually go on without our attention, it is when we engage with the breath, especially the outbreath, that our bodies relax and our minds let go. ~ Diana Daffner, Author, Tantric Sex for Busy Couples.

[mickeyjudd]

How long did ti take before breathing became ecstatic instead of cathartic??????????

[way2sunny]

Weird video. It reminds me of Lamaze. I don't buy that breathing is the key or really what anyone needs to focus on, for one thing it's a boring thing to think about and seems more like another distraction than the means to focus. Besides, I thought you advocated NOT having orgasms.

[Suzie Heumann - Huffpost Blogger]

Way2sunny,
No, that's not me - I advocate FOR orgasm for many reasons. I believe that anything sexual is another one of many vehicles to self knowledge, pleasure and ultimately enlightenment.

[bikerdude]

If you start to focus on your breathing and to practice deep, measured breathing you will be surprised how much better most things get. I had no idea how many times or in so many situations that I stopped breathing. I have been in groups and in my yoga classes where breathing is an integral part of the exercise...It has both changed and improved my life...

[Pupadup4oBama]

Well, apparently, our next door neighbors know the importance of deep breathing...:).

[bikerdude]

Good for them!!!

[CardioE2]

Co-enzyme Q-10 enhances oxygen and nutrients to all body tissue including the micro-vascular.

High cholesterol, and triglycerides reduce blood flow to all body tissues.

www.Into-The-Heart.com

[Conk]

After satisfying my woman I then concentrate on myself. Just prior to the big moment I take three huge, deep belly breathes, holding the last one in during the big O. Man, oh man, does it add something different! I feel it from my toes to my nose.

[bikerdude]

Hear hear!

[soundping]

Too much focus on getting off and not enough on getting along. ;)

[coveark]

Both seems blissful

[bikerdude]

If you ain't gettin' along, you are probably not gettin' off...

[bismillah001]

*Sigh*....­..........­..........­..........­...

[PresidentRobertBooth]

There is no greater accomplishment for a man than to successfully bring a woman to an orgasm.


Doing so indicates to the man that he has achieved a state of Buddha-like enlightenment.

[ManwithaParachute]

When you score a touch down, you should act like you done it before. Being able to read your partner is not all that difficult if you pay attention.

[bikerdude]

I never thought of it as an accomplishment. Most of my women make it as often as I do...

[w0rld0fw0rcraft]

Detachment is the ultimate enlightenment, orgasm is the opposite. Another opposite is desire. Another opposite is capitalism. we live in foolish unenlightened times.

[laocoon]

satori is samsara and samsara is satori. enlightenment is all about transcending the dualities. tantric theory is based on the diamond sutra.