Orgasms For Men: Belly Breathing And Tantric Sex (VIDEO)

There's a joy in mastering something that might have felt unattainable in the past. I remember many years ago when my husband and I picked up the book ESO - Extended Sexual Orgasm, by Donna and Alan Brauer, a husband and wife team, then at Stanford University. We were amazed at how relatively easy, and fun, the practices were and how quickly we saw results - results that have lasted all these years. Though the book is long gone from my library I have no doubt that the techniques are a modern version of ancient Taoist, Tantric, Arabian and Japanese methods for expanding orgasmic pleasure.

The Tantrics and Taoists, in particular, have developed, over thousands of years, simple, relatively easy and obviously fun techniques to help men train themselves to last longer, choose when they might ejaculate (or not) and experience multiple orgasms without ejaculating. Orgasm and ejaculation are two separate physiological experiences. They don't necessarily go together, it just seems that way.

The interesting part about achieving ejaculation mastery is that it is the basic practices of self-control and breathing that is fundamental to success. The same is true for learning yoga and meditation. Breathing, focus and the self-control to move forward and accomplish each step to mastery is the universal 'juice' to many of life's worthier practices.

And that is actually the more important part to these practices. Tantric sex is one of the many vehicles to the destination of consciousness. Yes, it's a great vehicle, but any practices I ever give are meant to expand your awareness, cause you to investigate and bring an inquisitive mind to your life and, most importantly, recognize that you can use the practices at any moment throughout your day.

When you involve your mind with your body you build new brain connections that will stay with you your whole life. 'Use It or Lose It' is real and by using your brain to up the quotient of your sexual pleasure you are building new neurons and connecting existing ones too. Then, the flow of orgasmic energy becomes a vital tool you can use to up the ante on your life.

That's the goal: conscious ecstasy. If you can breathe effectively while in high states of arousal and extended orgasm, then, after a bit of practice, you can simply breathe and attain a similar ecstatic state, outside of the bedroom. You have entrained sections of your brain to produce the feeling state associated with the bodily state. This is actually not difficult and it is incredibly useful, especially as you age and find your bodily functions not living up to your mind's expectations.

See my short video explaining a bit about breathing and ejaculation control:

Learning ejaculation mastery isn't very difficult and the following practice could change your life in unimaginable ways. So this is your mission, men. Should you choose to accept this mission it will require:

• Some quality time devoted to having fun training sessions
• Learning to relax in the high-states of orgasmic bliss
• Changing your breathing habits from chest breathing to belly breathing
• Understanding the deep integration of body and mind
• Loving your body and all the wonderful things it's capable of

Having said all that, most men see significant results in just two weeks of practice. This might encompass six focused workouts. Sounds painful, doesn't it.

All kidding aside, you are not alone. It's reported that up to 75% of all men ejaculate within 2 to 5 minutes of beginning intercourse. The hurry-up techniques are a result of many things that may include guilty feelings, fear of getting caught self-pleasuring, out of touch feelings with your body and honesty and trust issues with your partner/s. Very often you've just trained yourself to come too quickly.

Space here doesn't allow for a full lesson plan, though this can be found on Tantra.com. The basic technique is to practice solo or with a partner to simply last longer. This should begin with self-pleasuring that, on a scale of 1 to 10, stops every time you reach a 7, 8 or 9 - what ever stage you can get to without going over-the-top. Relax and breathe deeply into your belly for a few minutes and then start again. This will require some self-restraint at first but the results are well worth it. Bring your focus and willpower to bear. You will very soon understand that as you get closer to the ability to not go over-the-top you will actually be experiencing orgasmic-like pleasure without coming. Watch the video above to get a better picture of the details.

After a few weeks of solo practice involve your lover next. Have them use their hands to pleasure you and use the same techniques to master the extra energy of a partner. You will fall a bit back into old patterns at this stage but they will pass more quickly this time. The next step will be to have intercourse with your partner. You may have to, in effect, start the process over. You'll have to stop at that 7, 8 or 9 place and rest. This time, though, the results should happen much sooner. Your body and mind will be working together this time.

Remember to relax and breathe deeply into your belly. Use your mind to imagine the sexual energy spreading throughout your whole torso and up your spine, chest and throat. Your lover can use their hands to spread the sexual energy up your chest, over and over, as they remind you to breathe and relax into the pleasure.

I'd love to hear about any of your experiences with this. It's always good data and it encourages me to do this kind of writing every now and then.

Suzie Heumann is the founder of Tantra.com. She studies, writes, has authored three books and makes films about conscious sex, Tantra and the Kama Sutra. Check out Tantra.com Premium for the most comprehensive tantra training available on the Internet!

Follow Suzie Heumann on Twitter: www.twitter.com/SuzieHeumann

Comments

[MarkVA71]

Wow!

[Silas Barnaby]

"The hurry-up techniques are a result of many things that may include guilty feelings, fear of getting caught self-pleasuring, out of touch feelings with your body and honesty and trust issues with your partner/s. Very often you've just trained yourself to come too quickly."

It's most likely natural to be quick. Our distant ancestors probably thought it unwise to be humping away for an hour when there's predators about!

I'm so full of excuses, aren't I?

[Dragonblaster]

I tried this "belly breathing" last night. It seemed to help relax me.

[Suzie Heumann - Huffpost Blogger]

Keep perfecting it. Try relaxing when you are sexually aroused and use this breathing to hang-out in the pleasure.
Belly breathing in through the nose and out through the mouth will significantly lower blood pressure too.

[JonG345]

Its always a woman advertising this, and I think its because Its almost impossible to really pull off. I've tried to learn this stuff and got no real results. Everything I read about this stuff subtly says there's less pleasure involved.

If there are any men teaching this technique (how could a woman really teach this to mean?) then I would love to know about it.

[Suzie Heumann - Huffpost Blogger]

In hetrosexual relationships it is often the woman who can partner with her guy to help him learn and retain these techniques. There is an excellent e-book in our Premium area on Tantra.com written by a man on this subject and much more and there are also e-courses by men for men there too.

[Lokita and Steve Carter - Huffpost Blogger]

There are many men who teach techniques for becoming the master of their ship, including my husband Steve. In Margot Anand's SkyDancing Tantra these practices are called the Multi-Orgasmic Response. Visit www.ecstaticliving.com to read more about it. Check out also the work of Joseph Kramer who is at the forefront of working with men and orgasm. Or how about Mantak Chia's "The Multi-Orgasmic Man"? I wish you an ecstatic time of pleasure in every way!

[onagadori]

Hello. I am a man and I both practice and teach these techniques. I am also a yoga teacher and have practiced Tantric and Taoist techniques for over two decades. These things are not nearly impossible. In fact, they are easy, but if you believe they are nearly impossible, then they are definately so for you. Most guys already know something of practicing this technique from some of their own masturbation experiences. In slang, this is not so disimilar from "edging", which is bringing yourself almost to orgasm, then backing off, and repeating that over and over. These Tantric techniques are a bit more advanced and developed, but "edging" is very close to this. I can't say enough good things for these Tantric and Taoist techniques. They can, literally, rock your world.

[PlaceboStudman]

As a disabled man who has lived with a...compli­cated...bo­dy all my life, this is something I've known since I was 12...

Sometimes there really ARE advantages to lower extremity partial paralysis

[Suzie Heumann - Huffpost Blogger]

You are obviously evolved PlaceboStudman. Thank you for your comment!

[washlib]

some of us didnt need a book to learn this, making love is about giving someone ELSE pleasure.

:-)

[ramal]

"Sex is the last refuge of the miserable.­"---Quenti­n Crisp.

[Phenlandia]

I don't get this five to twenty minute crap other men do, but as a gay man I can tell you that average is frustratingly accurate. I usually start forcing myself to finish somewhere between the forty-five and ninety minute mark when I start getting tired (or bored if my partner finished ages ago). I'm not sure I need tantric voodoo to extend the experience even longer.

[Jyoti Naik]

Since when have men needed help getting an orgasm??

[Pema]

this is highly inaprropriate and erroneous to say it tantric. ids can watch this.
banging head on keyboard

[Suzie Heumann - Huffpost Blogger]

Please be careful Pema - your forehead is far too cute to have R-5-T-6-Y-7 on it.
I agree that the words and concepts that have been, in a way, 'stolen' from ancient lineages is bad juju but in all truth neo-tantra, or whatever you want to call it, has really transformed multiple peoples lives. What ever form it comes in, many go on to explore and practice the more self-disciplined forms of tantra. There are more people doing the practices today because they found the 'in' through some kind of sacred sex practices.
We are a world, our culture specifically, in which vocabulary is shrinking and concepts are getting 'grosser' along with it. These terms are being used by all manner of people for all kinds of meanings. It's confusing and often disturbing but I still am of the belief that it is doing more good than evil.

[Pema]

please be careful pema....I dont know what r5t6y7 is.
is something ugly that is suppossed to be on my forehead?

[onagadori]

Fear, shame, loathing, disgust, all these things we experience toward sex, and they are unhealthy, unnatural and destructive. Why should kids not know about their bodies and have a healthy understanding of and respect toward sex? It is the notion that children have to be protected from their own innate animal nature that is highly innapropriate.

[Pema]

i am talking about co opting the name of tantra. not people not having sex.

[Malkin72]

How about the fact that I DON'T WANT to have an orgasm without ejaculating? Or ejaculate without orgasming?

I want to do both at the same time the way my body intends it.

...after some good old fashioned ____-ing.

[JIzin]

Because it is possible for men to keep ____-ing orgasm after orgasm just as it is for women.
Think your too good to try doing so?

[desertlover]

I don't get the need for men to have intercourse beyond 2 to 5 minutes. With proper manual and oral stimulation beforehand their partner will be on their third or fourth orgasm before those minutes are up. Plus, if you count the 5-8 minutes of receiving oral that's plenty.

Just pounding away on your partner is not very satisfying for either party.

[KMFIX]

Everyone is different.. I actually enjoy...and so does my partner... "pounding away" for 20-30+ minutes... Not only do we feel completely satisfied, but physically it's great exercise as well...

Though a quickie can be fun too!

[mrportman]

x2 :-D

[factotem]

2.5 minutes of efficicent german love-making... then a sensible dinner.

[dubstyleenation]

"Just pounding away on your partner is not very satisfying for either party."

You must be joking...

[jdl51]

"It's reported that up to 75% of all men ejaculate within 2 to 5 minutes of beginning intercourse."

Unfortunately it's the other way around in our household. I wouldn't mind if she had multiple orgasms, but after one that's it.

[dubstyleenation]

Second that.

[formercon]

Waaaaa? I just want to get off. Then I.......get off!

[NHBill]

$20 a month is all is costs to find out how to do this.
This is an ad.

[Suzie Heumann - Huffpost Blogger]

Ouch!