Boobs Watching Boobs?

Had some time on my hands, what with having been left off the Playboy's Sexiest Sportscasters 2008 list, and as the HuffPo's female sportscaster in residence, thought I'd take some time to answer some of the 146 and counting responses to the contest.

First of all, to the braintrust who wrote the following comment: I heart boobies!.

Really?

Seriously?

That reminds me of one of the most bizarre and consternating moments of my career. On the way to a game at Ohio State a few years back, one of my ABC Sports broadcast colleagues, a former SEC Head Coach says to me out the blue, "Suzy, you think you'd do better in your career if you got a boob job?"

As insane as the question sounded at the time to me and my other partners, maybe he was on to something judging by the tone of the posts. It shouldn't take a $15,000 procedure to get ahead in the world of TV sports, but that seems to be the only thing being debated, not the quality and content of the reporting.

Sideline reporting may look insidious, superfluous, or just a total waste of airtime from where you sit, probably on a couch or a recliner, perhaps on a bar stool in your local brewery, but let me assure you, if you're one of the handful who take it as seriously as some of my colleagues do, it is anything but. It can be grueling and exhausting, with weather conditions ranging from freezing cold to blisteringly hot. At one of the games I broadcast at Florida State a few years back, the mercury soared to 105 degrees, and you try attempting to look composed and professional, providing insight from the benches while sweat pours into your eyes. Or the always pleasant challenge of elocution while standing in a 38 degree rainstorm, knowing you look like a drowned ferret but trying to convey information some may or may not deem important all the same.

What I love about this contest is how ridiculous it would be, were it to rank the hottest man-hunks in sports. I can see it now:

Babe-alicious Bob Costas

Sassy Stuart Scott

The Captivating Chris Fowler

And the comments: "Oohh, I just love it how Chris fills out his suit on the Gameday set."

Here is one of my other favorites: It seems sports on TV have been reduced to boobs watching boobs.

Sure seems like it from some of these comments, but it does make me wonder if women in sports truly have gained any ground since the days when Lesley Visser pioneered the craft. I get it, some chicks are just plain hot, and are seemingly there to rile up the wild beast within every couch potato -- that's why contests such as Playboy's Sexiest Sportscasters are out there -- but to the majority of women in the field, its yet another reminder of how far we still need to go to prove we belong on the playing field with the big boys.

Love this one as to why there are hot chicks in sports: Because sports mostly interests men and men are more interested in politics and the news in general. Women mostly like pretty things that smell nice. So men look at hot broads when we're watching TV.

Krikey. Wake me up when you're back from hunting wild boar, clubbing it over the head, and dragging it back to the cave.

Some reporters do a better job than others, and don't ask me to name names, because I need much more tequila to drop to that catty a place, but believe me, it ain't easy out there. And if you don't like it, don't watch. Or better yet, get your ass our there and try it for yourselves.

And the last, but intrinsically the loneliest in shared thought: here's a crazy idea: why not recognize women for good reporting instead of their rack?

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go out and buy a Push-Up bra.

Comments

[mrcontinental]

It's sports and there is NOTHING serious about sports.

We have a culture where to many people have to much time on their hands, hence the whole ESPN generation with 24 hour sports.

It all comes down to playing games and getting people to pay to watch and they build it up like the achievements are so great and superhuman, complete with halls of fame, it's ridiculous.

Nobody takes sports seriously, let alone a sportscaster. Sportscaster are just persons with minimal talent trying to jump on the sports gravy train, and that goes for males and females. If they all vanished tomorrow no one would miss them.

[BMSstudy]

Oh my God, is it true that men like breasts? Those beasts!

[GrouchoMarxist]

Great column Suzy. I really enjoy your work. But you misread my "I heart boobies" comment...is was intended as a sarcastic response to a ridiculous, silly story. Maybe I should have been a bit more obvious about my intent, but I thought the use of the word "heart" would get the point across.

Regardless, I'm in agreement with you on this issue. Thanks for the read.

[Aunt Shecky]

hi Suzy -- I have numerous regrets in my life but near the top of the list is not discovering baseball until late in life. When I was growing up (just before the women's movement), little girls weren't supposed to be interested in sports.

But about the uh, "boobs." Do you remember an article a couple of years back that stated that a woman's IQ is inversely proportionate
to her size of her, um, mammary glands? Evidently, the smaller the bra size, the larger the IQ number.

If that's the case, then I must be an Einstein!

[hapkidokid]

dam, saw the blog title and i was looking for pictures...

[metropolitan]

because it's entertainment. sportscasting is entertainment. it's not serious news. no lives, no world economies, no real issues are discussed. sports are entertainment and it's sportscasters are viewed as entertainment. so yes, sexiness counts.
sorry.

[FDRbyGodDemocrat]

Sideline sports reporting may be difficult and grueling, but it is also superfluous. The only thing keeping me from screaming "Get the camera back on the goddamn field" is the cleavage of the reporter. 'Cause what she's saying usually means zip.

[gorideabike]

Listen Suzy, stick with fake fake boobs. Victoria's and Fredrick's stock plenty of those falsies and other tacky tack gear if more secondary sexual characteristics are desired. Real fake surgical boobs only look good under clothing, and even cable sportcasts are careful to avoid actual exposure.
Bad hair can be forgiven since the field based women are out in the weather. They have a short time to give specific information about an important game element such as an injured player, unlike their male counterparts in the broadcasting booth who must fill any and all audio voids as a one hour game takes three hours to play.
Short rant: There are far too many: sportcaste­rcommentor­s jabbering incessantly about anything but what those folks on the field are doing; electronic graffiti all over the screen; distracting scene cutting to camera 2, camera 5, camera bazillion, and so on; commercials, and their bastard spawn, the TV time out; celeb. interviews in the booth, with four other guys trying not to look doofus wearing headphones and bad neckties. Call me a retrogrouch. Just show the teams playing the game. Viewers could figure out what the teams were doing if there was not so very much interference. End rant.

[Aramingo]

Suzy:

Glad you enjoyed it, although I thought the fair and balanced comment was funnier.

[Jonahson]

I can't help it, whenever I see an American women with extra size boobs the first thought coming into my mind is silicone. But if she is plump then it's hamburger and hotdog fat.

[siegfried]

If it's about talent, why is every statment a cliche and why are there no unattractive sportscasters?

[ChiGuy]

Not buying it, Ms. Shuster.
Your pseudo outrage rings as hollow as many of the heads that posted the 8th grade comments you cited.

The objectification of people in the public eye of both genders takes place in the media daily. Just yesterday, Matt Damon was named People Magazine's "Sexiest Man of the Year".
Did you write the editors a terse letter?

The fact of the matter is that you, and the other women, are hired to relate sports stories to PRIMARILY a specific demographic; MALES, 18 to 49 (or something like that), and like it or not, your looks will always be noticed first before your journalistic skills.
You're complaining about a gender that is visually oriented first, intellectually second.

I refuse to believe that you didn't go into the business with any notion other than that. Perhaps you naively hoped to change the mind set once you demonstrated your knowledge and skills on camera, but you knew in the beginning where you stood. Clearly, you are not stupid.

Mind you, I am not saying that it's right, and for my money, Bonnie Bernstein and Jeanne Zelasko are rock solid sports journalists and as good as any male on TV.

But they're pretty damned hot too.

[ipitombi]

That's the major problem with this country, Suze... we don't see enough boobs on the tube. If only women will bare it all, all the time, thus dispense with the mystery, the typical male will be pacified. Have you ever heard of violence or perversion at a nudist colony?

Conclusion: It's in women's collective self-interest to walk around naked. Peace.

[thenbeerazi]

Suzy, you probably know better than anyone how slowly the wheel of progress moves. At least they no longer say that only women of questionable social standing go to ball games (ref. Ken Burns's "Baseball" documentary). My husband has no idea what a 6-4-3 double play is (and he looks at me like I'm insane when I'm screaming at the screen when I watch my beloved Red Sox), but I did when I was 7 years old. I bet you did, too. Thanks for jumping the fence.

[burneb]

Sorry Suzy, but addiction to boobs comes with the hormones. Some guys handle it with grace and discretion, some do not. I have seen many rankings of the hottest man-hunks in sports, TV, movies, politics, etc., just not in Playboy, which clearly states it is Entertainment For Men. Try Cosmo or some other venue. I have been a reporter and I do appreciate good reporting, man or woman. But I still heart boobies. Seriously. And that’s the way it is.