Would You Hire Michael Jackson's Dermatologist or Mark Sanford's Spiritual Advisor?

08/02/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The nation has been grappling with the custody issue of Michael Jackson's kids. His mother is in her 80s, he'd named Diana Ross as back-up mother and Arnold Klein, the alleged father of some of his alleged offspring, hasn't offered his services, either as father or dermatologist. Equally difficult to address is what Mark Sanford's responsibility is to his wife, his mistress, the staff, the state and his spiritual advisor.

I wasn't aware dermatologists will father your children and I'm even less familiar with what services a spiritual advisor provides. If he was to come between the adulterous couple and their urges, he will likely have to amend his website promises. If he was to counsel the couple in breaking up, again, he wasn't entirely successful. Sanford would have been wise to use the money (his or the state's) for a speech writer.

While I don't expect Jackson's dermatologist or Sanford's spiritual advisor will benefit from recent revelations, I wouldn't hesitate to hire either of their publicity firms.