THE BLOG

Mazel Tov, Leidy Figueroa and Joran Van Der Sloot

07/05/2014 04:53 pm ET | Updated Sep 03, 2014

I couldn't find a wedding card for you, one that says, "Congratulation on being so patient, marrying though the groom won't be released from prison until 2038, and so forgiving, overlooking that he was found guilty of murdering Stephany Flores. Further kudos for finding a reasonably priced venue, the Piedras Gordas Penitentiary. You have 24 years to pack for your honeymoon, which, I imagine, will be the trip to the United States when Joran is being extradited and set to be tried for the disappearance of Natalee Holloway, who never returned from her 2005 trip to Aruba."