The Shrinkage Factor
Barack Obama may be the only male politician of any significance in the past, say, one thousand years who is faithful to his wife. Does anyone doubt Obama's fidelity? Now that it's near certain he will be the Democratic nominee, I've been trying to sort out why I don't think this is a good thing. It's not that I'm pro-infidelity, mind you. As a psychologist who has seen many couples torn to pieces over it, I know how corrosive betrayal is to a relationship. Yet, Obama's certain fidelity is somehow troubling me.
Now, to many of you on this site who have seen my postings before (and I want to thank you for the bodyguard I felt the need to hire), you know that I am a Hillary Clinton supporter. Perhaps I was more drawn to her to begin with because of her fierceness. It made me feel safe knowing there'd be this big, strong bear of a Mother in the House protecting her children at all times, ever vigilant and ever ready to do whatever it took to keep us out of harm's way. On the other hand, Obama's monotonic calm admittedly kind of scares me. Maybe because he looks kind of scared himself, especially in Hillary's presence. I'm not the first to comment on this. Maureen Dowd, an Obama-ite from early on, noted how he seemed to shrink (and, I would add, blink an awful lot) when forced to be in the same room with her. She may be over-doing the Rocky Balboa thing, but Obama's idea of getting into the ring seems to consist of trying to reason her out of the fight and the belief that if he just speaks quietly and soothingly to her, while putting a platonic, friendly hand on her shoulder, she'll settle down and leave the ring peaceably: in other words, if he's nice. Obama is a nice guy. And, as most any woman will tell you, "nice" guys finish last. And they finish last because, well, they just aren't very sexy. Power, for better or worse, is a turn on. I have no doubt that Obama wants to be President, which must mean that the guy wants power. And someone, most likely Axelrod, convinced Obama that the time to go for the gold was now — not in 8 years, but NOW. Obama bought into it and, I guess, the rest is history.
But Obama was not ready. Even though he will be the nominee, he, personally, was not ready. And maybe he never would be, come to think of it. Because what Obama seems to lack is what makes these powerful guys sexy: comfort with his aggression. He's just not comfortable with all that macho, aggressive, puffed-up-chest-capable-of-surviving-torture-ready-to-do-battle-if-necessary kind of thing. In fact, Dowd's characterization of him as a gazelle (to Clinton's lioness) and her affectionately nicknaming him Obambi implies that even she doesn't find him all that manly. Comparing her guy to a motherless baby deer must bring out Dowd's frustrated maternal longing, else why on earth would she want Bambi for President?
Which brings me back to Obama's irksome, wholesome, certain fidelity. It's actually not the fidelity that bothers me. I know that's a good thing. It's that shrinkage factor that has me worried. I think if it weren't for Axelrod, the Karl Rove of the Democratic Party, Obama may indeed be out there quietly making his case that nice guys really, really, really can finish first. And he'd have lost a long time ago. But Axelrod is no Obama. Axelrod knows and knew from the get-go that Obama had to at least try to appear like someone who could take a swing every now and then.
So now Obama is talking about "aggressive" diplomacy. I love it. It's brilliant, actually. He's found a way (or Axelrod has, I can't know for certain) to be comfortable with some type of aggression. He going to show us that he is not afraid to talk to anyone, even a big, bad bully like Ahmadinejad. I'm just worried that Ahmadinejad is going to pop out from behind the door as Obambi is entering the room and say, "Boo!"
P.S. I promise to support him anyway. He's going to need all the help he can get.
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Cute article, though I disagree with the author. I think Obama is more careful and almost too intelligent to play the down and dirty game of slinging mud, a game which always leads to the mudslinger contradicting himself/herself. Take the MI/FL primary vote doesn't count, but now it does debacle. Obama created a game of not conducting "politics as usual" and for credibility's sake he's trying to live by those self-imposed rules.
Plus there is a BIG elephant in the room (no pun intended at Hillary Clinton's weight or size). It's that he's a Black man dealing with a White woman. And nothing would be worse for him to be seen as being aggressive toward a White woman in American. America has this thing against "angry Black men." Plus, he's has recognized that his 'opponent' was a from his own party, a fact that Hillary Clinton didn't get the memo on. So there's a tightrope to walk, because for the party's sake, he can't hurt his party rival too much--another memo that didn't make Clinton's desk.
Talk about grasping at straws.
His fidelity to his wife is troubling?
And I bet your next post is going to focus on the perils of his high IQ?
Exactly - I can see it now...
"I want a man who just grunts at me when I ask him how his day was, and holds out his hand as he reclines on the couch watching the game, expecting me to go get him a beer! None of those elitist intellectuals for me! I want a REAL man who can't talk in complete sentences and can't pronounce words like nuclear properly!"
Oh wait... that's starting to sound too much like George W. Bush. ewwww.
I certainly hope this was an exercise in irony, otherwise.
Nice. This is the best example of sexism towards men I've seen in awhile.
"Power, for better or worse, is a turn on."
Where in the constitution require male presidents to be sexy?
Might not diplomacy be a greater show of strength than Republican/bully styled aggression?
Personally, I see Obama's calm and collected disposition the greatest show of strength of all this season's contenders (minus the unabashed anger of Mike Gravel, Nader's unrelenting desire better the world, and the placid friendliness of Kucinich).
I can't get past the title "The Shrinkage Factor." How absurdly sexist and offensive. LOL...Clin
Oh yeah, there is plenty of sexism in this campaign:
Cajones, pansies, testicular fortitude and now shrinkage factor.
Would you prefer he act the way McCain does? Just because he acts civil in his discourse does not make him weak. He is still willing to kill people he is just a little more selective about it than the current crop of losers running the nation. See his position on the Afgan conflict.
enjoying the benefits of white female privilege without examining the damaging effect of it on society...
Talk about sexist.
Your ignorance is astounding. Let me try and educate you.
White people are already intimidated by black mens manculinity. If Obama were any mopre agressive he would be cast as an angry black man.
Calling Axelrod the Karl Rove of the democratic party is pathetic. He has been a huge supporter of Clinton, specifically her fight against autism, and respects her greatly. To say it was him who pressured Obama in to running now is not only a bad opinion, it is categorically false. When Obama asked him to be a leader in his campaign, he had to think about it, for Pete's sake.
Your Idea of what power should be, Ms. Welsh, is precisely what wrongly and sadly brought us to war in Iraq... something your candidate authorized in 2002.
If your idea of power and strength is true, then I don't want any of it, Ms. Welsh. Thank you for your opinion and wonderful writing, but I could not disagree with your underlying ideology any more.
And using one person on the Obama side to bolster your "ideas" is not very convincing.
> P.S. I promise to support him anyway. He's going to need all the help he can get.
Thanks in no small part to my candidate and fellow Clinton supporters. Way to go team!
I love it. We hear nothing out of the Clinton Supporters this week other than how Obama, NBC, and everyone else is a sexist and how all of these sexist stereotypes have been hurled at Hillary...
God forbid that our president be cool under fire, no no no...lets get another rough and tumble cowboy in office that won't "shrink" .
If you want a president that will charge into any situation Gunn Blazin' and Eyes Shut...Vot
There is a difference with being respectful to another and being 'soft'. I don't agree with the idea that 'macho' men are sexy. Give me a kind, respectful and faithful guy anyday. As far as presidents go, I want someone who has inteligence, self confidence and class. Obama is the epitome of 'PRESIDENTIAL'. The other candidates don't come close.
If I want a super macho guy I'll marry one. What I want is a safe country, good schools, affordable fuel, affordable food, cleaner environment, health care for all, honesty in our leader, higher wages, more jobs, better roads..etc
Obama 08
Look around our country right now and tell me how far macho swagger and "testicular fortitude" have gotten us.... I might have been able to Hillary as "mama bear protecting her cubs" had she voted to prevent the deaths of those cubs sent over to Iraq. I'll take quiet strength over aggressive bluster any day.
Any time Obama has been the least bit aggressive, you scream "Sexism! He's picking on her!". ... but now you say he needed to act tougher? LOL you're funny. He will not be as restricted in the GE against McCain, he will attack him all on fronts.
What he will not do is pretend to be someone he is not. You won't see him throwing back shots of whiskey and talking about shootin varmits with his Pa... He has been himself from the start, while Hillary has taken over a year to "find her voice"...
Glad to hear you're voting for him though! At least you're more rational than some people on this blog...
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