Acoa

This false self is also sometimes seen as the "idealized self" or the self through which we operate because our true self just somewhere along the line (usually quite young) felt too weak, inadequate or overwhelmed to function and gain approval in the situation in which it finds itself.

When the attachment with a parent is fraught with fear, the child can become overly preoccupied with getting it right for the parent rather than for themselves.

When we "know too much" and "do too little" discouragement follows.

Research both in animals and in people show that stress or trauma early in life, like the stress of living with addiction or relationship trauma, can hyper-sensitize neurons and receptors.