We decide how we want to live and we decide what we want from our lives. But that's only possible once we've made a conscious commitment to stop being human piñatas -- stop being victims -- and truly take responsibility for our lives.
No matter how bad it gets, no matter what mistakes you've made in the past, and no matter how old you are, you can overcome anything, become successful, and lead a respectable, healthy life. I say this because I overcame my battles with addiction, a battle that raged for more than 22 years.
Many people refer to a single point of awakening at which recovery and transformation begin. It may be a near-death experience, a rite of passage, or even a poignant word from a friend that makes us pause and re-evaluate.
Let's think of our loved one's continued recovery by imagining a pie, and let's cut that pie into six healthy slices. Here is a list of what I believe represents each slice and the road to a clean and sober, all-encompassing lifestyle.
At the end of the day, it doesn't really matter if you think me a slut or a prude, for it is how I view myself that matters most. The number of partners we have isn't as important as how respectfully we treat them -- and how we feel about our actions later.
Communication is an art all to itself. Most of the time we are prepared for what's coming and engage accordingly. But it's a whole new verbal ball game when we communicate (or try to) with the alcoholic/addict.
This week, in Obama's Oval Office speech on the oil spill, he used the term "mission." That's the right word. It will take a purposeful commitment to a mission of change to truly respond to the epiphany in the Gulf.
You and your family and/or friends will be welcoming home your loved one from their recovery program. All the hard work that everyone has put into this new lifestyle will be for naught if there is no recovery plan.
This false self is also sometimes seen as the "idealized self" or the self through which we operate because our true self just somewhere along the line (usually quite young) felt too weak, inadequate or overwhelmed to function and gain approval in the situation in which it finds itself.