Maybe it's just me, but the worst part about having a mistress is the 'getting caught' part; otherwise, it's all upside. Your chances of avoiding that 'getting caught' downside are greatly improved by adhering to five simple tips for mistress management:
Having been on both sides of this issue, and after journeying closely with several friends over the years who have confided in me the angst of juggling a second relationship, I offer you my wisdom with hope and humility.
I realized, it wasn't me... it was us. Together we just couldn't make it work. The anger built as did the disconnect and then eventually, we were just roommates with kids -- when it became you do your thing and I will do mine; two lives moving along side by side, yet worlds apart.
I know Valentine's Day is a silly greeting card holiday that shouldn't really matter to me -- and yet, it does. As a single woman, all the hearts and flowers can be a painful reminder of what I don't have. As a divorced woman, they can be an even more painful reminder of what once was.
Shame seems to be held in disrepute -- it suggests some kind of old fashioned Protestant moralistic view, or the Catholic confessional -- but it can be a useful feeling if it helps us to face our own failings, and to remedy the injuries we might have done to others.
We are intolerant of affairs, we North American Puritans. We are not French. This, despite the fact that, statistically, most of us will find themselves inhabiting at least one corner of a love triangle sometime in our lives.