When you enter the health care system as a 38-year-old pregnant woman, you suddenly discover you're a bit of a problem. They've coined a rather insulting phrase for you and you hear it ad nauseum. You are a lady of "advanced maternal age," a term definitely not thought up by a woman.
So, if in my late thirties I'm officially a geriatric pregnant woman -- or my other favorite medical label, "of advanced maternal age" -- what does this mean? That I'll soon be buying myself Ensure as I'm picking up PediaSure for my kid?
As my mother helpfully pointed out, if Viv waits until she's 40 to have kids like I did, then I'll be 80 (eighty!) before I'm a grandma.