You -- and only you -- get to decide what's important to your family. Not the modern culture of "more" and "faster." Not the experts. Not even your mother. You choose what your family considers valuable, enriching and fun.
I always saw all the therapies and special support not as a race to fix or cure him, not as tools in an arsenal as if I was fighting a battle against autism, but rather, "I want to get to know my son better, I want to understand him so I can love him better and be a better mother to him."
You know darn well that they're lying to you or hiding something. It can be very hard to take, much less comprehend. Let's face it: of all of the behaviors kids are prone to, lying can especially sting.