We generate compassion and appreciation for ourselves, our partners and our relationships, when we are able to accept the whole picture that is the relationship.

As a therapist, I often hear couples complain that whenever one partner tries to get close, the other pulls away. It's a painful reality that love isn't always as easy to give and receive as we'd like to think.

Rather than continuing to allow dumb arguments about unimportant things to stress us out and poke holes in our relationship, we can become "conflict-wise" by learning to recognize and sidestep them.

Recognizing that our relationships are our most gentle teachers in life is a great way to approach the work involved in staying with them.

So far, we have shared eight keys or ways you can build a more intimate and mutually fulfilling heart-to-heart relationship. And now, here are an additional four keys we've found that work wonders.