Football is a gay man's best friend. So many of the things that go down on Sunday afternoons between September and December are homoerotic that it's a wonder that more gay men aren't football fans. Here are five reasons why football is indeed America's gayest pastime.
Football has become America's game of the 21st century. So, let's keep it in 50 states, where even if they don't sell out, fans are actually emotionally invested and in-game atmospheres are actually interesting.
Forget a QB rating system based on math Stephen Hawking wouldn't understand. Forget ESPN's new "Total Quarterback Rating." How many quarterbacks strike such fear into a coach's heart that he would choose Bill Belichick's desperate fourth-and-two play over a punt?
I'm a homosexual, 20-something Jewboy who enjoys the game of football as much as I enjoy scouring the shelves of Shakespeare & Co, so let me break it down for you by presenting my A-to-Z of America's favorite pastime.
Football is so popular that the league's annual player draft, which involves no actual athletic participation whatsoever, is now a three-day event. This is a beautiful thing for those of us who think way too much about football.
Yesterday, the once snake-bit Tottenham Hotspur beat Manchester City in what was effectively a playoff game to secure fourth place in the Premier League and as a result, a lucrative European Champions League spot next season.