This storyline is no longer about a Chinese-American mother and her parenting style. This narrative has exposed a raw nerve about the current zeitgeist of parenting and how best to raise our children in 21st-century America.

At the same time American parents have been engaged in animated debate about traditional Asian parenting, parents in Taiwan are about to be exposed to an American-born concept.

In a culture of parenting that is sorely lacking that kind of conviction, I think all parents can learn a few things about raising their children from this Tiger Mom.

Chua's story both mesmerized and appalled me. Reading it is like driving past a horrific car accident and wondering whether anyone survived.

What is the most important in our parenting? What do we want for children? Is it success? Is it happiness? Is it something else?

Where does Chua's book address the ethical self? How is she teaching her children to deal with other people? Have we missed something vital in defining success in child rearing?

If you want to make people a little upset, say something mean about their husband. If you want to make them angry, pick on their pets. If you want them to attack you from all sides, criticize their parenting.

Long after we've grown and left home, we continue, in a sense, to act as our own moms and dads, urging on as we strive to meet our goals. How we talk to ourselves really does matter.

How do you define success for your kids? This is what the Tiger Mom debate boils down to. What do we want for our children, and what does their success (or lack thereof) mean for our own identities?

Chua's argument goes against years of scientific research into what makes kids truly happy -- and successful -- in life. Moreover, it rests on a faulty premise.

Should Jewish moms become more like Chinese moms? Maybe. As long as we can hold on to the playdates, sleepovers, open debating and sleepaway camp.

Chua explains that Chinese mothers (and parents from other non-white American cultural groups) think about children differently. They think about potential, rather than protection.