Amy Poehler on The Huffington Post

Will Arnett To Guest Star On "Parks And Recreation" (VIDEO)

2009-11-17T16:15:39Z

According to "Entertainment Weekly," Will Arnett will be guest starring on "Parks and Recreation" in early 2010. Arnett, who already guests on "30 Rock" is no stranger to TV, but this will be the first time he's appeared on his wife's NBC show.

The pair have worked together several times. They played a married couple on the short-lived Fox series "Arrested Development," although Poehler eventually left Arnett for his brother-in-law.

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After Poehler gave birth to the pair's son, the two appeared in a Funny or Die video in which Arnett made out with a dude. Yes, in the short Will and Amy run into British comedy couple Peter Serafinowicz and Sarah Alexander and momentarily forget about their wives.

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On "Parks and Recreation," Arnett will play a possible suitor for Poehler, who is currently dating a cop played by Louis C.K. The couple will not be the first marrieds to appear together on the show, recently Nick Offerman's wife, Megan Mullally, played his ex on an episode. Both couple have been married since 2003.

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Catie Lazarus: Top 10 Reasons This Woman Can't Write for Late Night Comedy Shows

2009-11-12T20:07:00Z

In the New York Times, Bill Carter writes ,"very few women make it inside the writing rooms for late-night television hosts, despite that women make up a larger proportion of their audience than men. There are no female writers on the new “The Jay Leno Show,” none on “Late Show with David Letterman,” none on “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien.”"

Based on his article and Nell Scovell's personal account in Vanity Fair, I have come to understand why the odds are stacked against my wedging my paw in the door. I still have hope (also known as delusion).

The Top 10 Reasons This Woman Can't Write for Late Night Comedy Variety Shows

10) I will be overcome by desire for my male comedy writing peers
and superiors, who are known for their off-white, pasty skin and muscle tonus
minimus, akin to albino, soft shell turtles.

9) My lady sensibility is limited to menstruation
(hilarious), babies (adorable), and unicorns mating
(adorably hilarious).

8) Due to my genetic make-up, I am physically incapable to
handle the job, considering the heavy manual labor required in touch typing.

7) The number one rule of comedy is fitting in and I sometimes buck the uniform of orthopedic New Balance sneakers,
hoodies, jeans, and t-shirts, with ironic catchphrases like, "Pro-Cashmere. Pro-Cotton.
Pro-Choice."

6) The only requests I get as
a female comedy writer are to discuss sexism in comedy, instead of political satire about how Sarah Palin is so sick she
gives swine flu or scripts like Crones:
The Musical! or commercials, maybe, Femedy: A bubble gum
birth control for tweens who don't want to ovulate. Period.

5) Late-night comedy requires a male point-of-view, and girls,
even ones closer to menopause than teething, can only express themselves in
glittery pink (which, fyi, typing in does
not fund cancer research).

4) As a lady, I automatically cost less, and in a business where money talks, how will I be taken seriously? I mean funnily.

3) I didn't graduate from Harvard so I lack the cultural capital to craft the erudite, intellectual fodder
typical of late-night comedies, like the masturbating bear or gift
wrapped genitalia.

2) Hollywood would have to make major changes to catch up with
medicine, law, even engineering, in its hiring practices, and we all know how open television is to change. It only took 30 years (and millions of dollars) before CNN let Native
American Lou Dobbs quit. (I mean, leave to spend time with his family.)

1) I'd have to be funny and learn
how to play Dungeons and Dragons.

Lesley M. M. Blume: 12 Glamorous Role Models Talk About Their Role Models (PHOTOS)

2009-11-10T12:20:04Z

If someone invited you to a dinner party, and told you that the other guests would include poet Maya Angelou, designer Stella McCartney, Ambassador Susan Rice, and comedienne Amy Poehler (oh, and Michelle Obama might just stop by for appetizers), how long would it take you to leap out of your seat and scramble over to the fete?

You'd get there in record time, I bet.

Last night I had a comparable experience: I was given a catbird seat at the events celebrating Glamour magazine's Women of the Year awards, which honored the ladies mentioned above and many other "courageous and inspiring women who are changing the world."

It's a little bit weird to be in such close proximity to some of our era's amazons: several of them are literally Amazonian, like Iman or Tyra Banks (I'm not a short woman and I still felt mouse-like standing in front of them with my little tape recorder). Others, like Ambassador Rice, are surprisingly tiny but could absolutely bowl you over with their stare.

The important role that mentoring plays in women's lives was the theme of the night; Honoree Michelle Obama discusses it with particular intensity in Glamour's December Issue.

"For me, role modeling was immediate, it was touchable," she says. "I had people rooting for me ... it really makes a difference."

She's a very lucky lady in this respect: having role models and mentors can make a huge difference in a young woman's life. I still have my icons, who strengthen my resolve on a daily basis (my beloved copies of Diana Vreeland's DV and Marlene Dietrich's ABC are often secretly tucked into my bag for courage during big, nervous-making interviews). Female writers have been writing about the importance of encouragement and example for generations; Virginia Woolf and Alice Walker both avidly emphasize the importance of "forerunners."

So, with this in mind, I trotted around the Women of the Year dinner and asked a handful of prominent women who their earliest female role models were. After all, as Stella McCartney said at one point during the evening, "behind every great woman is a great woman."

Read the excerpts below each slideshow picture to see who has influenced some of our era's most visible ladies. Not surprisingly, "mom" gets the center stage in most of their stories.

Click here for more coverage about the Glamour Magazine 2009 Women of the Year Awards.

Seth Meyers & Amy Poehler Go Off On Goldman Sachs (VIDEO)

2009-11-08T08:40:25Z

While thousands of at-risk Americans wait, some big Wall Street banks have already secured the in-demand swine flu vaccine for their employees. Goldman Sachs has received 200 doses -- the same amount as Lenox Hill Hospital.

Seth Meyers and Amy Poehler devoted their segment "Really?!? With Seth And Amy" to the subject last night,

SETH: I mean I know that to you guys swine flu is almost as terrifying as drinking tap water or sending your kids to public school but really?

AMY: Can you not read how mad people are at you? When most people saw the headline 'GOLDMAN SACHS GETS SWINE FLU VACCINE' they were super happy until they read the word 'vaccine.'

SETH: Also, Centers for Disease Control, you sent the vaccine to Wall Street before schools and hospitals? Really? Were you worried the swine flu might spread to the Hamptons and St. Barts? These are the least contagious people in the world. They don't even touch their own car-door handles.

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"Parks And Recreation"'s Sad Halloween PSA (VIDEO)

2009-10-30T10:26:02Z

Halloween is (almost) here and the Pawnee parks and recreation department want you to celebrate safely. That's why they made this PSA that teaches you to poison kids instead of giving them knives.

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Daria Shualy: The Fun Way to Check if You Dress Your Age

2009-10-21T20:50:51Z

I admit it - I had a hunch. But it was only when I reached the office that I knew for a fact: my outfit that day was a complete wardrobe catastrophe. I looked like the crazy lady, the one who seems to have no friends or family to tell her better. The school girl outfit I was wearing did not complement my shape, looked cheap somehow and most of all, it was not age appropriate.

This popular of late term is both annoying and completely justified in the era of Wisteria Lane moms. So as I was staring at myself in the outfit which made me look like a deranged, over-aged Gossip Girl fan or Amy Poehler as Regina's mom in Mean Girls, I wondered what was it that made it not age appropriate.

It wasn't the shorts, because I've worn them in a classy way before. It wasn't the school girl reference, because you can make it work in a chic way. What was it then?

In search of an answer I browsed through numerous articles attempting to explain the do's and don'ts of age appropriate, when I came up with a fun, fast solution: A quick self test to discover if what you're wearing is becoming of you, your mom, your grandma or someone's teenage daughter. I call it the Sense of Fashion Head Swap (being that the idea has already transformed into a new feature being developed as I write) and this is how it works:

The easy method
You take a photo of yourself in the outfit in question, and using the likes of Paint or Photoshop, you paste on your body the heads of the following characters:

1. Serena Van Der Woodsen - as the hot teenager
2. Cindy Walsh - as the classic mom
3. Kitty Forman - as the young granny
4. Kate Moss - as, well, a way to make you feel good

I have put myself on the operating table for your convenience, with two looks: the horror outfit (shorts and necktie)

and a fairly conservative retro dress.

Reading the results
It's easy: Whichever head of the first three characters goes best with your body - that's the age of your outfit. If you yourself are considerably younger or older than that age, you shouldn't wear that outfit, and should try on something more age appropriate.

As you can see, with me, the first outfit looked the best on Serena. Being that the character is, well, somewhat younger than me, it is not age appropriate.

The blue dress looked the best on Cindy Walsh, which as a character was slightly older than me. That doesn't mean it's not age appropriate, but that it might make me look older. I could easily go for a younger look.

And as for the Kate Moss photos, well, they only prove that a gorgeous woman can get away with anything, and that it's always fun to see your body attached to the head of a super model. But that's just a perk.

Beverly Wettenstein: No Women Featured in NY Comedy Festival! No Joke!

2009-10-11T13:38:57Z

We're With The Banned: Cracking The Crass Ceiling

The New York Comedy Festival ad features ten men and no women.

Broadly speaking, comedy is, obviously, still a male-dominated bastion within the entertainment business. The Primetime Emmy Awards showed that women writers on a comedy or variety series are a rare and endangered species. Only seven of the 81 writers were women. There are no women writers on Leno (of 19), Letterman (of 14), and O'Brien (of 16). Colbert has two women of 14 writers. The Daily Show has one of 16. Samantha Bee is a busy worker bee and a "correspondent." "Saturday Night Live" has five women of 22 writers.

LOL: Larry Summers School for the Advancement of Women

Historically, some men have difficulty accepting women comedians. The Larry Summers School for the Advancement of Women should hire Tom Shales, Christopher Hitchens and Jerry Lewis, to teach "Why Women Aren't Funny." The three wise men opined as much in the Washington Post, Vanity Fair and at the Aspen Comedy Festival, respectively.

Shales, Washington Post TV critic, wrote that ex-SNL "Michaela Watkins may have been just too classically pretty to be hilarious." Lewis told the Aspen audience in 2000, "I don't like any female comedians" and couldn't think of one who was good. He only viewed women as baby-making machines.

SNL announced two new women for the 35th season to much press attention: Jenny Slate and Nasim Pedrad. Just hours later it was reported that Casey Wilson and Michaela Watkins were gone. Does SNL have a female quota? Is their comedy calculus: addition = attrition? The two new women are "featured performers," rather than full repertory players.

Kristin Wiig was SNL's MVP Iron Man last season, earning the most screen time of any cast member, with 124 sketch appearances. She is currently the only official woman cast member.
Plus, she has seven feature films in development. And she is beautiful. Please explain, Mr. Shales.

Having joined as a staff writer in 1997, Tina Fey's term as SNL's first woman head writer (1999-2006), coincided with the most women cast members in regular performing roles in its history: Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph and Rachel Dratch. Much to her credit, Fey teamed with Poehler, to create the groundbreaking "Weekend Update" all-women anchor team in 2004. The dynamic duo proved they were not "Mean Girls" and sparked no cat-fight messages in the media. When Fey started on "Update," there hadn't been a woman anchor since Jane Curtin in the late 1970s and she was not afraid to promote her BFF Poehler. In fact, the two newest women are troupers from the Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, co-founded by Poehler.

Kudos to Fey and Poehler for empowering women, following decades of male-dominated sketch comedy. Fey and Poehler know that women succeed when they are responsible for their own material. They play comedic roles, perform standup and write and direct films and TV shows. Fey's "30 Rock" was nominated for a record 22 Emmy awards. She was named the AP Entertainer of the Year in 2008 for the greatest impact on culture and entertainment. Poehler is the lead star on "Parks & Recreation."

Timing is everything in comedy and in life. SNL mirrors the advances of women in society. In 2002 Ana Gasteyer was their first on-air pregnancy. The TV management "suits" have matured since the 1950's when the word "pregnant" was forbidden and Lucille Ball was asked to hide behind furniture, which she refused to do. The fact that nine-months pregnant Poehler posed as Hillary Clinton was a non-issue. Her absence and baby's birth were announced on "Update."

Now that SNL has accepted the pregnant pause, perhaps they may consider hiring a Black woman to play Michelle Obama and other women newsmakers and celebrities? Do they think it adds to the levity to dress men in drag or is there a women shortage? I don't communicate with Eleanor Roosevelt very often. But I do think of her and her personal equal opportunity employment act when I see a man playing a woman on SNL. Upon learning that women reporters were not admitted to the National Press Club where newsmakers spoke, Roosevelt held regular news conferences exclusively for women reporters and photographers, thus creating jobs for women. You go, girl!

Actually, in the first season in 1975, the original SNL cast was equal with three women (Jane Curtin, Laraine Newman and Gilda Radner) and three men (John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd and Garrett Morris) and Chevy Chase was promoted to "Update" anchor from writer. By 1993, the ratio was three women to eight men. Janeane Garafalo quit halfway through the '94-'95 season because of the male writers who "didn't write for women."

Chicago's Second City improv-sketch troupe, an SNL talent feeder incubator, only allowed two women on a six-person improv team into the '90s. Fey and Poehler are alumnae.

This is Wanda Sykes' banner year. Her HBO special just aired and "The Wanda Sykes Show" will debut in November, at 11 PM, against SNL. Sykes was the featured entertainer this year at the White House Correspondents Association dinner. This annual event honoring the president is a prestigious gig with the nation's dignitaries.

Traditionally, even though women were fully-accredited White House reporters and members of the association, they were barred from attending the dinner. Prompted by Helen Thomas, for the first time in 50 years, women were finally admitted in 1962 when President John F. Kennedy agreed not to attend unless the women did. Thomas was inducted as the first woman WHCA president in 1975.

The old boys club network is alive and, well, begrudgingly coming into the 21st century at The Friars, the premiere club for professional comedians and entertainers. Founded in 1904, Liza Minnelli was admitted as the first official woman member in 1988. This followed the Supreme Court upholding a New York City statute that barred discrimination at large private clubs. Previously, women couldn't join or enter the Townhouse before 4 PM to attend the notorious stag roasts.

Sally Jessy Raphael was the first officer (Prior) in 1999. Previously, women were honored but could not join. Sophie Tucker was the first woman roasted, in 1953; followed by Martha Raye, 1954 and Lucille Ball, 1961.

Joy Behar was the first woman Roastmaster, at a tribute for Danny Aiello in 1997. Rita Rudner was the first woman performer at a Roast for Chevy Chase in 1980. Phyllis Diller, dressed as a man in a suit, wig and mustache, attended the 1983 Sid Caesar Roast, because women were not allowed. She was outed at the end of the event and honored at her own roast in 1985. Diller was the first woman inducted into the California Friars Wall of Fame in 2001. Last year, at the behest of Behar, the Friars named one of its chambers for a woman, Lucille Ball. Currently, women comprise 20 percent of the Friars membership.

Women need to showcase their talent to survive and succeed in the comedy business. Barbara Walters first saw Joy Behar at a benefit for Milton Berle's 89th birthday at the Waldorf Astoria. Walters then invited her to audition for The View. Behar just debuted her nightly talk show on HLN. Her co-hosts on The View include comediennes Whoopi Goldberg and Sherri Shepherd, who stars in her own show on Lifetime. Goldberg was the first woman and fourth honoree to win the Kennedy Center's Mark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2001; Lily Tomlin won in 2003.

More Than Chick Shtick: "Seinfeld" Without Elaine? Get Out!

Imagine Seinfeld without Elaine. Get out! Actually, Elaine was not in the first show but executives insisted they add a woman to the cast by the second episode. Would an all-male cast have become the same audience success story without her? Not!

Liz Lemon told Oprah on 30 Rock that she hates her feet. Nora Ephron told the world that she hates her neck. It took Elle Woods' life experience in Legally Blonde to solve the murder case. Her Harvard Law colleagues didn't have a clue about women's hair treatments. Chris Rock parlayed that message into a feature film. Maybe the sexes can learn to live together and better understand each other through humor and women comedians?

One of the challenges for women comics is that society expects good girls to be well-behaved and to act lady-like. Comedians have to be aggressive and take control of the audience. The boys who were the class clowns and spent more time in the principal's office than the library are now making big bucks for their antics. Not to pooh pooh Winnie-the-Pooh, but the first new authorized female character believes that everyone should follow the correct etiquette. Lottie the Otter will be more like Martha Stewart than Martha Raye.

It's easier for women to get to the moon than to get a network late-night talk show. Conan O'Brien and Craig Ferguson had no experience as late-night talk show hosts when they were given their shows. Ferguson had not performed stand-up for ten years and had a strong Scottish brogue. O'Brien was an unknown SNL comedy writer with little performing experience. Joan Rivers was the first and only permanent host of The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson. When Rivers learned that she wasn't on the list to replace Carson, she accepted the offer to host her own late night talk show to launch the Fox Network in 1986. She was fired six months later.

The talk show format is a cheap alternative to scripted TV and yields self-contained YouTube-friendly takeout promos. As viewers migrate away from appointment network TV, cable should create new opportunities for women. But the old boy network ways persist. The Daily Show was co-created by Lizz Winstead and Madeline Smithberg in 1995. Winstead was also the head writer. Then host Craig Kilborn made an offensive remark about her in Esquire in 1998. He was suspended for a week. She left the show soon after. Chelsea Handler has her own late night talk show on E!

Only two women comedians were listed on the Forbes "100 Celebrity" list: Ellen DeGeneres, Power Rank #40, $35 Million Pay and Tina Fey, #86, $7 Million Pay.

She Who Laughs, Lasts: "50/50 in 2020"

Last month more than 200 women met to hear a panel address and outline a "50/50 in 2020" initiative to advance women in the theater business. Three sponsors are taking the lead: the League of Professional Theatre Women, the New Perspectives Theatre Company and the Women's Project.

In 2007 Oxygen presented the "50 Funniest Women Alive." There are women who are ready, willing and able to perform at comedy festivals. They can turn the world on with their smile... and spunk.

Stand Up For Women In Comedy! Parody and Parity Proposals

1. Action! Organize a meeting during the New York Comedy Festival, November 4-8, to focus on "The State of Women in Comedy Today," to become part of the media coverage and raise public support. Since there is no professional organization for women comedians, create one or develop a Comedy subcommittee of the "50/50 by 2020" project or another industry-related association.

2. Produce a counter "Funny Femme Festival" during the New York Comedy Festival to showcase talented women comedians, become part of the media coverage and raise public support.

3. Distribute this treatise and contact the New York Comedy Festival.

4. Submit your comments and suggestions here.

5. Stay tuned. Watch this space for announcements and progress reports. Thank you.

See Beverly Wettenstein's PBS interview on youtube.com.

See Beverly Wettenstein's Letter in the NY Daily News, Sept. 4, 09
nydailynews.com/opinions/

See Beverly Wettenstein's Letter in the NY Times Science Times, July 21, 09

_________________________________________________________________________

"Celebrate Women Every Day!"

October 13

B. 1901 Edith S. Sampson First Black woman elected judge, in Illinois, 1962.
First Black woman named UN delegate.

1905 English suffragists Christabel Pankhurst and Annie Kenney arrested.
Women over 30 got the vote 12 years later; all women in 1928.

B. 1925 Margaret Thatcher First woman Prime Minister in England and Europe, 1979-1991.

B. 1969 Nancy Kerrigan Olympic silver medalist, 1964; Oksana Baiul, 16, won gold medal.

1986 Rita Levi-Montalcini earned Nobel Prize in Physiology or Medicine.

Source: Beverly Wettenstein's "Women in History and Making History Today
- 365-Days-A-Year Database"

'Parks And Recreation' Spoofs Political Sex Scandals (VIDEO)

2009-10-09T11:47:34Z

"Parks and Recreation" opened last night with a revelation from Pawnee City Councilman Bill Dexhart that he had sex with "a beautiful woman and her boyfriend and a third person whose name [he] never learned." Dexhart went on to say, "It was wrong of me to say I was building houses for the underprivileged when I was having four-way sex in a cave in Brazil." With the Spitzer, Sanford, and Ensign scandals (amongst others) fresh in our minds, the show's writers decided to create an episode about political dirt and scandal in general, that highlighted the pasts of each main character.

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Amy Poehler's Stroller Derby (VIDEO)

2009-09-24T10:44:10Z

Amy Poehler appeared on "Late Night" yesterday and competed in a stroller derby with host Jimmy Fallon. Poehler had some problems with her water-balloon baby, but definitely kept it classy right to the end. We especially appreciated her bright white running shoes and propensity to cheat.

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Best Supporting Actress Nominees Sport Odd Eyewear For Emmys (PHOTOS)

2009-09-20T23:16:45Z

The ladies nominated for Best Supporting Actress in a Comedy banded together tonight to sport silly glasses (or an eye patch in Poehler's case) as Jon Hamm and Tina Fey read their names during the 2009 Emmy Awards. Vanessa Williams did not participate, either out of annoyance or as the punch line to a quirky joke. Tell us who you thought looked the best!

Seth & Amy Mock Kanye, Joe, And Serena In Weekend Update Premiere (VIDEO)

2009-09-18T09:55:35Z

Meyers and Poehler did their first "Really?!? With Seth & Amy" of the season last night during the premiere of Weekend Update Thursdays. The pair devoted the segment to perpetrators of recent outbursts such as Congressman Joe Wilson, Serena Williams and Kanye West saying, "No one is impressed when you take your stands against 19-year-old girls, tiny Asian ladies or the first black president. Really? Who are you gonna go after next koalas? Really!?!"

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Amy Poehler: I Was Trying Not To Barf On Hillary Clinton (VIDEO)

2009-09-16T09:14:06Z

SNL alum turned "Parks and Recreation" star Amy Poehler visited "The View" Wednesday, her 38th birthday. She talked about her baby boy, the new season of her show and trying not to vomit on Hillary Clinton.

"It's always strange to be dressed as someone and stand next to them," she said. "My inner thoughts at that moment were, one, that she was so gracious and lovely to work with, and also I was pregnant at the time so my inner thought was, 'Please don't let me barf.'"

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Polls Show That People Don't Know What They Want But They Want It Right Now (And The Rest Of Your Scritti Politti)

2009-07-30T18:07:21Z

Sometimes, our political leaders are incoherent in their own unique ways. On other occasions, it's clear that they are just reflecting the incoherence of their constituents. Via Wonkette, comes the following findings from the recent New York Times/CBS News poll:

Fifty-six percent of respondents said that they were not willing to pay more in taxes in order to reduce the deficit, and nearly as many said they were not willing for the government to provide fewer services in areas such as health care, education and defense spending.

It calls to mind this famous exchange from the Simpsons episode, "Much Apu About Nothing."

Homer: What? This is the highest tax increase in history!

Lisa: Actually it's the lowest tax increase in history, Dad.

Homer: I pay the Homer tax. Let the bears pay the bear tax.

Lisa: That's Home Owners' tax, Dad.

At any rate, Wonkette's Jim Newell is ready to break some gridlock by any means necessary:

The government gets in touch with every $1+ million annual earner in the country and asks each of them, "If the government raised taxes on your $1,000,000 annual income by $9,000 in order to deliver health care to 40 million Americans, would you (a) just pay the taxes (b) stash money in an off-shore vertical trust scheme to avoid paying or (b) literally move to another country to avoid paying this tax increase for health care?" For those who select either (b) or (c) or for some reason both, the government will just take 100% of their money, stun them with cattle-prods, and feed them to the Uighurs.

ENDORSED!

This Day in Retrograde: Just when the National Review had extricated themselves from Birtherism, Andrew McCarthy drags them back in. Oh, and did he claim Larry Johnson, who pretended for a year to have the famous "Whitey tape," as a source? Yes? PERFECT.

Lorne Michaels Has Answered My Prayers: Steve Krakauer of Mediaite says that Amy Poehler will be returning to anchor Saturday Night Live's Thursday iteration, Weekend Update Thursday. That's good news. Consider it TiVoed. But what to do about filling that anchor desk on Saturday nights? Krakauer half-suggests that it's just another role that the infinitely versatile Kristin Wiig could play for the show, but I'm decidedly against that -- given the great Weekend Update guest character work Wiig has brought of late, it would be a huge comedy opportunity cost.

Rewarding The Wrong: CJR's Ryan Chittum has a great takedown of the Wall Street Journal's decision to let Donald L. Luskin take to their editorial page and write insane things like: "If the housing bubble hadn't burst, the 'many' who identified it in 2005 would have been wrong."

In Case You Missed It: Dahlia Lithwick summarized the Senate Judiciary Committee's Sotomayor decisions with wonderful haikus, for Slate.

[Would you like to follow me on Twitter? Because why not? Also, please send tips to tv@huffingtonpost.com -- learn more about our media monitoring project here.]

Sean L. McCarthy: 14 Reasons I'm Looking Forward To Montreal's Just For Laughs Festival

2009-07-22T06:34:17Z

In an almost last-minute decision, strings were pulled, favors were called in, nouns were verbed, and I found my passport, which means it's time to head across the border for the 2009 Just For Laughs comedy festival in Montreal. Sure, talk to any member of the show business industry who has been around since Just For Laughs first took over this French-speaking Canadian city more than a quarter-century ago, and they'll be quick to tell you that the festival isn't what it once was. It's bigger, and yet not so big that comedians can return to the States with their dreams and pockets filled with six-figure development deals from the TV networks. No, times are different. We have the Internets now!

You can follow my detailed reviews, interviews and analysis during Just For Laughs at my site, The Comic's Comic.

As I get ready to make the journey north once more, here are a few of the things I'm looking forward to seeing, following and preparing for over the next four days and nights.

1. Learning what the heck Zoofest is, once and for all. It's not part of Just For Laughs, but then again, it is. It's just the edgier shows? The shows with animals? I really don't know.

2. Seeing the industry hype machine in full effect, in both its most artificial and organic ways. Last year, I saw firsthand as NYC-based stand-up Sean Patton emerged from the "New Faces" showcase specifically because to the industry, he was a new face that they hadn't seen or heard from before, and they liked what they saw and heard. I've also read some silly things in the trades about certain comedians each year who got "buzz" and, having seen those comics, firmly believe that the trades sometimes get hoodwinked by the "buzz" comedians and their managers and agents who manufacture said buzz.

3. Speaking of which, that "buzz" machine also serves as a sad reminder of Michael Roof, aka "Chicken," the comedian who became infamous for scoring the last big TV development deal out of Montreal (the WB built a sketch show around him), only to find his career and life unravel. He took his own life last month.

4. What is Broken Lizard up to now? The sketch group made a big splash with their first independent film at Sundance, and followed up Super Troopers with a few more films, including Club Dread and Beerfest. They'll be performing new live sketches, taking questions and showing off their new movie, The Slammin' Salmon.

5. The British are coming, oh, wait, it's Canada, so they're already here, sort of. John Cleese, he of everything that is all and great about legendary British comedy, hosts an all-Britcom Gala (what the Montreal folks call their big televised variety specials) that should tell us if the English have some new comedy tricks up their sleeves.

6. Last year, Montreal named Judd Apatow the comedy man of the year. Or something like that. This year, Apatow is holding a red-carpet premiere of his new movie about comedians, Funny People, at the fest. Will it live up to its often-brilliant online promotional campaign?

7. Bill Cosby is back in Montreal for the first time in three years, and I look forward to experiencing a full set with him to see if he's as curmudgeonly as he has appeared on recent TV shows, or still the wonderful stand-up who set the bar for so many young comedians.

8. If Cosby has become an elder statesman of stand-up, then Louis CK is the new would-be king. At least if you ask me, Ricky Gervais or just about anyone else who has seen Louis CK perform in the past couple of years. He's been the toast of Montreal, too, so it'll be interesting to see how the city and the comedy community receive him this weekend.

9. How will the Upright Citizens Brigade play outside of the friendly confines of the UCB theaters in New York City and Los Angeles? In New York two years ago, the UCB co-founders (Amy Poehler, Matt Besser, Matt Walsh and Ian Roberts) staged ASSSSCAT in a rock club as part of the New York Comedy Festival, and it felt, looked and sounded like trying to watch an improv comedy show standing up peering over hundreds of other standing fans. The UCB is mounting several shows in Montreal, and I'll be curious to see if they seem any different in a new atmosphere.

10. Will AMP'd have the same "buzz" it had last year, when Bo Burnham and Jon Lajoie both proved that lots of audience members (and industry) still like guys who write clever musical hooks, and Craig Robinson tried to make everything a party? Well, the Dan Band is here. And Reggie Watts, too. So it should be fun, at the very least.

11. Will Andy Kindler's blistering State of the Industry Speech continue to be the one event that everyone in the industry attends? Last year, there was a funny scene as the standing-room-only ballroom emptied out after Kindler's speech, despite the fact that Judd Apatow's event was following it.

12. Montreal is giving its industry-based Comedy Conference a second try this year. Will we hit upon a big idea? Or will the industry get caught up hearing itself talk and talk some more? Let's hope for the former.

13. Will the exchange rate be any better? It has to be better than last year, when it seemed like the first time in forever that Canadian dollars were stronger than our American greenbacks. Loonies, I tell ya! Loonies! (Yes, I know that's a different coin.) I think the weak dollar last year had an impact on everyone's mood.

14. And yet, the forecast for just about the rest of the week calls for rain in some form or another -- both in Montreal and in NYC, and the rest of the Northeast. What is this, Bumbershoot? No, that's in Seattle. We're Canada-bound. And we're packing our umbrella!

Will Arnett Makes Out With British Equivalent Of Himself (VIDEO)

2009-06-16T14:06:32Z

Thanks to Sean McCarthy for letting us know there was a British Funny or Die, we had no idea. They made the following video with American sitcom favorites Will Arnett and wife Amy Poehler, and British comedy couple Peter Serafinowicz and Sarah Alexander. Turns out the men in these relationships have odd ways of greeting each other.

WATCH:

Great To See You Feat. Will Arnett, Amy Poehler, Peter Serafinowicz and Sarah Alexander from Will Arnett

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Amy Poehler Wins Best WTF Moment At MTV Movie Awards, Gives World 10 More WTF Moments In Return (VIDEO)

2009-06-01T11:46:25Z

"Parks and Recreations" star Amy Poehler won the award for best WTF moment at the MTV Movie Awards last night for her sink-peeing scene in "Baby Mama." Poehler pretaped her acceptance speech which was a f%&^*&g s&*T show of obscenities. Watch her acceptance speech below, and her winning scene below that.

Click here for more from the MTV Movie Awards.

MTV Shows

THE 12 SEXIEST COMICS IN AMERICA (SLIDESHOW)

2009-05-28T16:22:15Z

This week we asked you who the sexiest comics were on the scene, mostly because we have a thing for funny people. We chose 15 men and 15 women and after days of voting we found that our readers love the women of "SNL" and the men of the "Daily Show." Who knew? Of the top six women, four were cast members of "Saturday Night Live" at some point. Of the top six men, four are currently on the "Daily Show" and another (Colbert) started out there.

In all fairness, there are some people that should've been on these lists in the first place but we ran out of room/forgot to include them: Mindy Kaling, Wanda Sykes, Janeane Garofalo, Jason Jones, Craig Ferguson, David Letterman, we are truly sorry and think you're all seriously sexy. Also, Sherri Shepherd and Zach Galifianakis, you are amazing, don't let your last place finishes tell you anything except that there are some jealous haters out there.

Here are our top 12 reader picks...

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Funny & Fine: Who's America's Sexiest Comedienne? You Decide! (SLIDESHOW) (POLL)

2009-05-26T18:41:28Z

We've selected 15 of the sexiest funny ladies we know for a HuffPost poll of ridiculous proportions. They're all hilarious, they're all more comedienne than actress, and they're all smarter than you. Think we're missing someone? Complain about it in the comments section! Want the guys list? Click here and vote for them too!

Portman, Longoria, Padma, Demi, And More: The Lovely Ladies Of The Correspondents Dinner (PHOTOS)

2009-05-10T11:45:49Z

Hollywood hit DC Saturday night for the White House Correspondents Dinner. The media elite had a hard time outshining celebrities like Natalie Portman, Eva Longoria and a radiant Amy Poehler.

Below are just some of the lovelies from Washington's main event.

PHOTOS:

Scott Shrake: First Snapshots from the First Obama WH Correspondents' Dinner (Photos)

2009-05-10T03:39:13Z

Tonight was the first White House Correspondents' Association Dinner to take place during the new Obama Administration. As with all WHCADs, the mix of Beltway media personalities and Hollywood types was jarring but fun. Here are some snapshots. Your own hostess with the mostest, Arianna Huffington, was there, and makes an appearance in my photos...

Lots of SUVs and limos and stuff...

You can barely see it, but the Code Pink ladies were protesting the whole thing...

The view up Connecticut Avenue from Florida Avenue, while having some eggrolls before the shenanigans began...

Alaska's "First Dude," Todd Palin....

Warren Buffett...

Another deadender, not sure why they all showed up... Don Rumsfeld...

Stevie Wonder...

Chris Matthews...

The tourists and stuff watching the red carpet show...

Felicity Huffman...

My friend Sarah with Jonathan Rhys-Meyers, a real gentleman...

Amy Poehler, whose husband Will Arnett had just walked by with Jason Bateman, but my camera's too slow...

Christian Slater, very short...

I and David Shuster of MSNBC...

Keith Olbermann...

David Gregory, so very tall...

Kyle MacLachlan...

I and Arianna...

David Brock, Rick(y) Schroeder (!!!)...

David Corn, Richard Belzer, Sarah Chamberlain...

Glenn Close...

Colin Powell...

David Axelrod...

I and fellow Scorpio Whoopi Goldberg...

Your boyfriend, Michael Steele...

Adam Hanft: Move Over Obama: Can Amy Poehler Make Us Fall In Love With Government Again?

2009-04-24T16:14:24Z

He probably hasn't considered it, but President Obama needs Amy Poehler to make government functionaries our next secular saviors. In her new sitcom Parks and Recreation she plays Leslie Knofe, a starry-eyed bureaucrat who, in the opening episode, earnestly proclaims that the conversion of an empty lot into a park will be her "Hoover Dam." She's her own perky vessel of change, channeling "Yes We Can" with prime-time gloss.

The show couldn't have come at a more appropriate and in fact monumental moment. With the government taking huge ownership stakes in our financial institutions, a new generation of sharp and relentless federal managers will be required. Sad but true: We need people smart enough to catch the bankers who are looking for every loophole to screw the same people who bailed them out.

What's more, the ambitious initiatives packed into the stimulus package will mean yet another aggressive expansion of government, a new thrust of involvement rushing deep into our lives.

But all that, of course, leads to an inevitable ant-swarm of sleepwalking dunderheads required to execute the mission. Or such is the conventional wisdom. So for Obama to succeed, he's got to make us believe in government again. Not just in him and his leadership; that seems to be working.

We also need to deposit our faith in the thousands of people it takes to build and run all these Hoover dams, and the resultant skein of unappealing systems, paperwork and clipboards that disgorge from that ambition.

Without those legions doing their thing, we will never be in a position to nab next crop of Madoffs and mini-Madoffs before the wreckage. We won't be able to spot the rogue peanuts before they hop into our food chain, or the crooked banks with their unsupportable, helium-filled capital structures.

That's a tough peanut to swallow, though. We aren't quite ready to pay homage to the thousands of small and boring tasks that, taken together, make government work. We believe government is populated by paper-pushers, clock-watchers and pension-anticipators who wake up in the morning thinking about how little they can do, how much they can get away with.

And we can't conceive of walking into a federal office pretty much anywhere, and finding a source of crisp efficiency, entrepreneurial energy -- the drive to find new and better ways of delivering service.

This tension is snappily exhibited in Parks and Recreation. Early in the show, Poehler breaks the fourth wall, turns to camera and says: "When I first tell people I work in the government they say the government, the government stinks, the lines at the motor vehicle bureau are too long. But now things have changed. People need our help, and it feels good to be needed."

The show announces that we've come a long way from the Reagan era: no longer is government the problem. But Poehler's cheery Jeffersonian hopefulness is only part of the story; the rest of her cast sees the world a bit differently. They've given up, tossed in the white flag of shrugged-shoulder surrender. Her silly idealism only yields eye-rolling.

If you want, a contrast between the shining city on the hill and the grim cubicle in the basement - including every cliché of bored civil servants in action - you have arrived at the right place. The gap between Obama's soaring rhetoric about community and a national coming together, and the daily grind of constituent service, could not be clearer.

And to mirror the level of flat expectations, the show is shot docu-style - clearly a nod to The Office - so all the banality and pettiness gain a kind of mock-heroic stature. No one emerges with much dignity, not the citizen losers at the public meeting, not the disinterested board members.

The show reflects our national dilemma. I don't think it has fully hit us yet, this need to re-believe in the redemptive and innovative powers of government. The narrative has gone in one direction for so long, after all. But now that we own huge chunks of banks and other financial institutions, the stakes are higher.

So we have to start paying salaries, for both appointed and civil service positions, that are close-to-competitive with the private sector. Government has always paid less because a) we could get away with it, an b) on a certain level, everyone knows that when you get out of Washington you can convert your currency and connections into a better paying job in the private sector.

This wink-wink allows the government to get off cheap, while acknowledging that access selling and interest peddling are part of the deal. If President Obama wants to tighten the ethics rules he's got to change the artificially low salary constraints that block all but the wealthy and patient immoralists from working in government.

Executing the Obama Audacity throughout the country will require a generation of talented idealists, pragmatists and yes, bureaucrats. If we believe that the best people work for the government and not for Google, then gradually but inevitably, they will.

Watching Parks and Recreation reminded me, in a way, of the arrival of the Mary Tyler Moore Show. When Mary Richards famously threw her hat in the Minneapolis air it was a well-timed, sitcom-perfect signal of a zeitgeist shift. It was a faux-feminist declaration of independence, for sure, but it also was the first show that tried, at least, to portray a single woman on TV who wasn't in a constant manhunt. In its way it did lead.

Similarly, I wonder if Parks and Recreation is picking up on the green shoots of a new belief, that government is not our nemesis, that the uncelebrated and the mocked who labor there actually care about what they do, and that they can change lives for the better.

If we don't start believing that soon, if we refuse to be convinced that the public sector, is not irreparably incompetent, then a lot more than Parks and Recreation is at risk of being cancelled after 13 weeks.

Tallulah Morehead: Survivor Tocantins: Much Ado, in re: Nil

2009-04-10T10:12:14Z

Unlike the Pope, I really am infallible (And I still say Galileo was wrong! The earth does not revolve around the Sun; it revolves around me!), which means when there's a cock-up like there was this evening, when my VCR, an early wood-burning model Betamax, actually hand-signed by Max himself, failed to record tonight's edition of Survivor: Tocantins, it can't be my error. Sure enough, I found a suicide note from my Betamax machine, saying it couldn't face another Tribal Council blindside, or even just listening to any more of Ex-Coach's blather, and had taken The Coward's Way Out. (That's through the door on the left.)

Fortunately for all of you, I did watch the show as it aired, and made some drunken scrawls that I think are notes, or perhaps doily designs (You can never have too many doilies!), so I can still recap this episode of heartbreak, betrayal, and pole-holding; I just have to do it from memory, so all the quotes are approximations. Nobody actually said any of this stuff, just stuff like this stuff, so this is roughly as reliable as the Congressional Record, or, well, Reality Television.

They opened with the last remnants of Jalapeno sitting about camp after last week's Tribal Council, bewailing what a bunch of losers they all are. Can't argue with that. One of them suggested that henceforth (Whoever it was who said it, they did not use the word henceforth) they should only be known as Jala, as they had lost their Peno. There are few more unpleasant experiences in Life than having your Peno chopped off, not that I'd know. Chances are, I was liquored up anyway. Taj then turned into Large Orphan Fannie, telling them that things will be better tomorrow. Suddenly JT Farm Boy, Stephen Five-Face, Joe Gangrenous Leg, and Taj Fannie launched into a rousing version of Tomorrow from Annie, the most obnoxious musical of the last century. At least, I think they did. As I was drifting off, I was almost certain I heard their voices, plaintive with terror, belting out:

We'll still be the same tomorrow,
Betcha your fake idol that tomorrow,
We'll still be lame.

Meanwhile Timbirra is a hotbed of conniving, two-faced evil. We were treated, if that's the right word, to a sequence of Ex-Coach the Barboobian doing his new morning ritual, which involves yoga, prayer, posing, preening, wearing his hair in a topknot that would embarrass Woody Woodpecker (The best cartoon character name in film history), chanting, self-worship, sacrificing someone's first-born, and bragging. Oh, and maybe a virgin sacrifice as well, if one can be found. Ex-Coach was heard to say something damn close to "I see it; I wanna nail it." The horror. The horror.

But his morning meditation now was part of his Charm Offensive, to try and acquire allies as the merge loomed. (They knew a merge had to be looming, because two more team immunity challenges and there would have been no one left for Timbirra to merge with.) Ex-Coach's Charm Offensive consisted of meditating on his own awesomeness in calf-high water for a few minutes, and then sexually coming on to each tribe member. And the really creepy part was, it seemed to be working. I don't know about charm, but watching Ex-Coach feel up his tribemates one after the other, was certainly offensive.

Never shy about blowing his own horn, and aware that no one else is likely ever to blow it for him, Ex-Coach was telling people this evening about how he was both a soccer coach and a conductor of a symphony Orchestra (They should be called the Have-My-Sympathy Orchestra) in California, commuting back-and-forth by airplane. Assuming there's even one word of truth in that, now that he's been fired from his coaching job, he must be saving a fortune on airfares. Well, music's loss is soccer's gain.

Everyone is feeling Joe's leg. Well who could resist? "It's hot!" said one of the guys. It is hot! It's also grossly infected, poisoned, as pus-filled as a spoiled Twinkie, and looks about ready to fall off. When they get tree mail that implies the next reward might be a feast, Joe says, "We gotta win a feast." He doesn't need a feast. He needs industrial-strength antibiotics, and maybe surgery. Instead, I imagine, out comes the terribly-not-helpful Survivor staff Christian Science Practitioner, to let Joe know that his swollen, purple, pus-bloated, diseased limb is merely a manifestation of his belief in horribly-infected legs. Here, read Science & Health, and pray.

Merge Feast: There was no Reward challenge. Instead, they had The Merge Feast, as all the surviving survivors stuffed their faces together while getting to know each other's game personas; I mean becoming close, intimate, utterly honest, life-long friends, and allies to the death.

Taj announced that she was happy for the merge because she "missed girls." I thought Taj was married to that guy who won that award they give murderers. Now suddenly she's lezzing out all over Debbie Bad Nose Job, Sierra Mist-For-Brains, and Erinn Friendless? If Taj likes women so much, why did she relentlessly vote off her female Jalapeno tribemates? Maybe she should have thought of that before helping remove Carolina, Sandy, and Sydney.

Sierra was blurting out Timbirra's whole tribe dynamic to the new tribe members, as though the concepts of strategy, and playing-it-close-to-the-vest were alien to her. Stephen, Taj, and Brendan were lucky she didn't blurt out that she was in a secret alliance with them. But perhaps it slipped her mind. As we shall see, it slipped all the rest of theirs.

They had to pick a new tribe name, so they chose Fourza, which means "strength," or "manly," or "dripping with potency," or "Better than your lame-o suggestion," or "yowza." Or maybe just because, for Jalapeno limping into the merge, as Chico Marx might say, "Fourza alla you gotta left."

So would the Awesome Foursome now become The Awza Fourza?

My notes got sketchier as the show went on and on. Ex-Coach said of the merge that getting new tribe members is "like getting a new girlfriend." Ew. And that's an "ew" on behalf of both the tribe members and the girl friends. Either way, Teddy is going to end up having to enlarge his Panama Canal down in the basement once again.

There are two types of people on earth: those who feel that "The worst day of fishing is better than the best day of doing anything else," and those like myself who feel that "The worst day of being tortured with a cattle prod to the genitals is better than the best day of fishing. And any day spent being dead beats fishing as well." Ergo, I do not watch fishing on TV. And what could possibly be worse than watching fishing on TV? When it's JT and Ex-Coach bonding as they fish. As my attention drifted away, I heard Ex-Coach say something to JT along the lines of "I felt it the moment I put it in." How disappointed I was as my head snapped away from my cocktail shaker and back to the TV, only to see it was Ex-Coach blowing a load of smoke up JT's ass about how "We're both warriors." No, he's a ranch hand and you're a psychotic egomaniac. Jerry Army Sergeant was a warrior, but you voted him out.

I'd be worried about any influence Ex-Coach might trick the none-too-brilliant JT into, except that both of them were merely pretending to bond, while hoping, in JT's case, to size up his opponents and trick one into thinking him a friend, and in Ex-Coach's case, to manipulate JT into blindly following his orders, both great, and incredibly trivial. "I will not lie one time" Ex-Coach lied. Meanwhile, JT can't wait to lie to Coach.

But there's a more active, and possibly even smarter evil at work in Fourza, namely Tyson the Nude Mormon. Next time a Mormon missionary knocks on your door to impress you with his moral church and get you to vote against gay people's civil rights (Eat Vermont and Iowa, Mormons!), remember Tyson, a completely typical, everyday Mormon, chosen at random to represent his church on national TV.

"I'm just here to make everyone hate each other." said Tyson the Loving Latter-Day Saint.

"[Brendan] seems like a sneaky bastard" said Tyson the Sneaky Bastard.

"Lying to everybody actually gives me pleasure." said Tyson the Trustworthy Man of Faith. I jotted these quotes down as I watched, wanting to learn from his wisdom. He really said this stuff.

Ex-Coach and Tyson schemed against Brendan. They went right to Stephen, the go-to-guy for treachery. Stephen agreed with them to vote out Brendan, agreed with Taj to vote out Brendan and Sierra, agreed with Robby the Robot from Forbidden Planet to vote out Taj, agreed with President Obama to vote out "Bad Times," agreed with JT, I think, to vote out himself, until reaching the moment of His Supreme Accomplishment: Stephen is now in a secret alliance with everyone in Brazil! I think he may even be in one with Jeff Probst, and with Adam Lambert over on American Idol just to be on the safe side, and possibly even with Benjamin Linus on LOST, in case Stephen turns out to be as fictional as his word is.

Joe, who is in a Super-Secret Stupid Alliance, or is it a Super-Stupid Secret Alliance, with Erinn, once he could limp off with her alone, discovered that it never even occurred to her to go see if the immunity idol is there or not. He dragged her out to the Fourza Tree Mail statue, and together they discovered that its butt cavity was fully evacuated. Maybe it was there yesterday, Erinn. If only you'd bothered to look. What else did you have to do? Watch Ex-Coach meditating on his awesomeness?

Immunity Challenge: There was a row of large, carved wooden poles stuck in the ground. The Survivors were told they had to hold onto a pole for as long as they could. The last one still holding onto his or her pole would win immunity. Pole holding. Oh goodie. Wake me when someone wins. What else is on? Smallville is a repeat, but hey, that new sitcom with Amy Poehler is on right now. I could change the channel.

Mark Burnett? Hello? Are you trying to drive away viewers? Endurance contests like this are always a snooze. I hate them on Big Brother also, though at least on Survivor, they don't end the show with the contestants still hanging on. Even gay porn knows that you won't watch people just holding onto poles. If you don't at least move your hand a bit, it will get very boring very fast.

Was that Stephen or Joe who said, "I love you, pole," to his pole? I hope it was Joe. But it sounds more like Tyson the Latter-Day Narcissist to me.

Stephen proved himself no homo, as he was out first. He can't even hold onto his own pole, and he expects to be able to juggle 8 different alliances? (Or is it more than 8? He has Taj-JT-Stephen, and Taj-Brendan-Sierra-Stephen, and JT-Ex-Coach-Tyson-Stephen, along with his individual alliances with each individual contestant.)

It was too bad Spencer was already gone, as women and gay men not surprisingly were the better at clinging to poles longer. Joe was soon out, as was Brendan. Ex-Coach Wimmin-Hater did surprisingly well.

Sierra's pole got lucky when she lost her grip and went down her pole in a wild, rough thrust, her pole battering her frail bony frame as she plummeted. "That pole got every part of your body" someone said of her fall, though unless she spun around as she fell and they edited that out, I'd say her buttocks and shoulder blades got away scot free.

It came down to just Debbie vs Tyson. Debbie was smoked. So Tyson can cling to a large erect pole longer than anyone else. Who couldn't see that coming?

Tyson referred to his face as his "money-maker." His captions call him a "Professional Cyclist." What other trade has he been plying with his face? I assume it's a profession of long duration. "If any ladies want my phone number...." Tyson began, only to trail off. He had no idea how to finish that sentence, probably because no lady has ever wanted his phone number, not even his mother. In any event, I'm sure Tyson's phone number can be found on stalls all over Salt Lake City's finer bus stations and air terminals.

As Tyson smugly plotted against Brendan, he went on about how Brendan has felt Tyson's "hot breath" on his neck, back, small of his back, behind his left earlobe, between his thighs, around each toe, up his lazy river, into his Valley of Death, and so on, reading a whole catalogue of erogenous zones where he's blown Brendan. Why are we only just now hearing about this? Why weren't we shown this? It would be a damn sight more entertaining than watching clinging to a pole.

Jeff Probst had taken a look at Joe's leg at the challenge and was mildly horrified. He insisted on Medics being called out for Joe. (The camera crew following Joe about every day for weeks had felt no such compunctions to summon medical aid.) They should call a shrink for Ex-Coach, and men in white coats carrying a straight-jacket for Tyson. The medic's report was along the lines of "Yup. That's an infection all right." Big help she was.

Clearly scared, you could see in Joe's eyes that he was imagining the conversation going along these lines:

Joe: "Can you save my leg, doc?"

Doc: "This was a leg? Sweet Holy Christ, no!"

Joe: "Will I need surgery?"

Doc: "It's way too late for surgery. I'm gonna have to take you around back and shoot you. You got the Old Yeller Doomsday bacillus. Only cure is a shotgun blast to the forehead. If you'd just come to me 27 minutes earlier, everything would have been fine."

Stephen proposed to Taj backstabbing Brendan. Taj, devoid of loyalty, was fine with it. Brendan expected his Awesome Foursome allies to vote how he told them to, even though most of them had already promised several random people to vote him off, except when they were promising to vote Sierra off.

JT and Ex-Coach had springing up between them a new mancrush so fierce and fake, I expected Stephen to get jealous. Ex-Coach's new self-proclaimed identity is now "The Dragon Slayer!" He hasn't slain any dragons, nor has he engineered a single eviction since Candy, back in episode 2. He's not a dragon slayer; he's a drag queen slayer, because the two drag queens watching the show with me were all exclaiming "Who is she? Who was she? Who does she hope to be?" while rolling about my floor, laughing hysterically, and disarraying my empties.

I got completely lost in the overwhelmingly complicated plotting, backstabbing, and treachery. The Lord of the Rings has a simpler plot. Trying to follow the machinations made Dame Agatha Christie's head hurt, and she's dead.

And then all the plotting was for naught. The Immunity Challenge was for naught. Tribal Council was cancelled. Joe washed out and was sent home. His leg was so bad, they were all in danger. It might have broken free, grown a replacement body of virulent evil, and gone on a killing rampage. That sort of thing happens to Brazilian explorers in movies all the time! Joe was blindsided by his own body. Frankly, I wouldn't mind being blindsided by Joe's body myself, although I would prefer he'd go for the side of me that can see, as he is well worth a good gander, which is also good for the goose - Ow! - but not until after Joe's Old Yeller Flesh-Eating Doomsday bacillus is all cleared up. Right now, Joe literally hasn't a leg to stand on.

If only it had happened last week, when the ER series finale was on, Joe could have hopped over at 9 PM directly from Brazil on CBS to the Chicago emergency room on NBC, and have had his leg saved by someone as handsome as he is. But ER is gone now, and Joe is trapped in Tocantins, with only primitive witch doctors practicing their jungle joo-joo to try and save his rotting limb. I hope it's not already piranha food.

"Can you tell Joe we love him and miss him?" asked Taj the Two-Faced Woman who had tried to vote him out, and made the fake idol she left for him to be fooled by, giggling at how easy he was to hoodwink. Nice lady Taj. I'm impressed by your concern for yourself - I mean Joe.

So beautiful Joe Adonis is gone, leaving only Brendan Hot Pecs as The Last Hunk Standing. (Tyson and Ex-Coach think they are hunks. They are mistaken. Horribly, horribly mistaken.) Poor Joe; he never even got the chance to use his phoney-baloney fake immunity idol and be made a humiliated laughing stock out of as he got voted out. Rats!

In the previews of next week, we saw that Ex-Coach is still "Dragon hunting," to the terror of all nearby windmills.

Cheers darlings.

To read more of Tallulah Morehead, go to
The Morehead the Merrier.

"Parks & Recreation" Reviews Are In: Most Thumbs Are Down (VIDEO)

2009-04-09T15:16:44Z

"Parks and Recreation," NBC's hotly anticipated Amy Poehler vehicle, premieres tonight and that means the reviewers can FINALLY reveal what they thought of the pilot episode they got weeks ago in the mail. In general, the reactions were not good. It seems that the show is a less bright and shiny version of the "Office." Here's a round-up of what media and entertainment critics are saying...

Tom Shales of "The Washington Post" called the show "a too-obvious imitation of the network's imported hit "The Office," and complained that "NBC has managed to come up with a prime-time network sitcom that suffers from an excess of subtlety -- a flaw so utterly unprecedented that it has considerable novelty value on its own."

Robert Bianco of "USA Today" came down hard on the show saying, "What you find in Parks and Recreation is a style in search of a show. Worse yet, it's not even a new style, or one that seems particularly well-suited to the character being played by the star, Saturday Night Live's Amy Poehler."

Chuck Barney of the "Contra Costa Times," bemoaned the lack of meaty writing for its star, saying the show "betrays Poehler by failing to provide her with material worthy of her talents. Whose idea was it anyway to take a woman gifted with a sharp comedic wit and turn her into a trite dumb blonde? She deserves so much more than that."

WATCH THE FULL EPISODE HERE:

David Hinckley writing in the "Daily News" said the show is a "summer camp for lightweight one-liners, the kind of banter that might sustain an occasional 'SNL' skit, but may have trouble supporting a whole sitcom."

Tom Maurstad of the "Dallas News" said, "The show has a great supporting cast, especially her misanthropic Libertarian boss, Ron (Nick Offerman), who wants to privatize the department and whose role model is Bobby Knight."

The "LA Times" says, "Tonight's opener starts slowly but hits cruising speed soon enough," and notes that despite being yet another mockumentary "'Parks' tells its own story on its own terms."

Ken Tucker in "Entertainment Weekly" reminds us that the "'Office' seemed  a little flat when it premiered in 2005," and says, "One would be foolish to underestimate the series  this early on."

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Amy Poehler Readies Sitcom Debut

2009-03-28T09:58:08Z

On her new show, which has its premiere on April 9, Ms. Poehler is portraying another government official: Leslie Knope, the deputy parks director of fictional Pawnee, Ind. It's a character who exudes all the qualities Ms. Poehler most loves to play. "She's naïve and narcissistic, completely deluded and completely out of touch with reality," she said.

As if to prove her solidarity with her character, she added: "I think we'll be the first TV show to win an Academy Award. And the Nobel Peace Prize."

Jason Bateman: Will Arnett Isn't The Father Of Amy Poehler's Baby (VIDEO)

2009-03-11T14:23:22Z

According to Jason Bateman, Will Arnett isn't the father of Archie Arnett and he knows this because Amy Poehler sleeps around a lot. Bateman also claims Arnett wears a hairhat and has man boobs. Damn. If this weren't a joke, it would be incredibly harsh.

This "feud" is an ad for an upcoming project the pair are involved in that's looking to capitalize on their previous relationship as squabbling brothers on "Arrested Development" to score ratings. Arnett gets some licks in (Bateman's childish) but none as inflammatory as Bateman's. We're sure he'll get back at him somehow.

Despite the fact that this promo doesn't really mention the show, it is designed to advertise the upcoming Fox comedy "Sit Down, Shut Up," an animated series created by "Arrested Development" founder Mitchell Hurwitz that's voiced by three members of the AD cast.

The show, based on an Australian sitcom, premiers April 19 and boasts the talents of Henry Winkler, Cheri Oteri, and Kristin Chenoweth. In addition to this project, Hurwitz and his gang are preparing to move forward on the long-rumored "Arrested Development" movie.

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