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Ann Brenoff's on the Fly

Woodstock: Yeah, It Was Something -- Just Not What You Think

Ann Brenoff | Posted 08.14.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

About a month ago, I was standing in front of the Woodstock display at the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in Cleveland Ohio when it happened again. A guy about my age, wearing a baseball cap over what I assumed was a balding head, sized me up and asked: 'So, were you there?' I nodded 'yes' and then what happened is pretty much what always happens.

5 Types Of Annoying People To Avoid At All Costs

Ann Brenoff | Posted 08.07.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

Sometimes, I just don't get people. I mean, we all share the same planet and that alone means we need to be aware of overlapping into the personal space of others, right? So with that in mind, I would like to call out a few folks who, to my way of thinking, broke some planet rules.

Older People Are Not Adorable, So Please Stop Calling Them That

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.31.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

There's lots of discussion these days about what to call people as they grow older. Nobody likes 'elderly'; 'senior' and 'senior citizen' are a scant improvement over 'elderly'; and we can argue till the cows come home exactly what 'older person' means. I'm fine with using my actual age as a descriptor. I'm a '64-year-old.' Period. What I'm not fine with is being called 'adorable.'

Does This Weight Chart Make Me Look Fat?

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.24.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

My doctor gave me one of those heart-to-heart talks: You need to lose some weight and exercise more, he said. The "or else" was implied. I know that being overweight increases your risk of heart disease, diabetes, strokes, and a million other bad things. But I just had to ask: Am I really overweight?

Facebook's Highest Purpose: Talking To The Dead?

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.17.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

Forget trips to the psychic. Increasingly, Facebook has become our conduit for talking to the dearly departed.

Ann Brenoff

5 Reasons Summer Just Isn't What It Used To Be

HuffingtonPost.com | Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.15.2014 | Fifty

Growing up, the happiest day of the year for me was always the last day of school. Why? Because it was the start of the laziest, most fun season of th...

Why Can't Anyone Stop The Onslaught Of Scam Phone Calls?

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.11.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

The voice message left on our home phone sounded very convincing. Authoritative and with a hint of menace, the caller said that the IRS Crime Investigations Unit was about to file charges for tax evasion against us -- but if we called them back right away and could explain a few things to the caller, perhaps our imminent prosecution could be averted. But only if we called him back right away.

Why Worrying About Retirement Is Actually A Luxury

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.11.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

Retirement planners used to talk about the "three-legged stool of retirement income -- Social Security, traditional company pensions, and personal savings." Nowadays, many of us are sitting on legless stools.

The One Big Downside To Virtual Friends

Ann Brenoff | Posted 06.26.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

I have two sets of friends: There are the brick and mortar ones who I meet for dinner, spend holidays with, and text -- and then there are my virtual friends, who are the people I have gotten to know online and who I frequently feel that I know just as well.

THIS Is What Happens When The Child Becomes The Parent

Ann Brenoff | Posted 06.25.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

Peggy Scott just returned home from a lovely jaunt through Italy and Greece with her college daughter, Abigail. Abby was finishing up a semester abroad and her Mom joined her over there. Peggy's Facebook feed was filled with photos. It was a trip where Abby, having spent the semester abroad and with a newly acquired knowledge of all things European, took the lead.

What To Do When Your Kids Are Embarrassed By You

Ann Brenoff | Posted 08.19.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

I spotted something on Facebook the other day that caused a parenting flashback. A woman posted how her overweight husband was at a school function when at some point during the festivities, her young daughter whispered in his ear and asked him to please leave. Why? Some of her classmates were commenting on his weight, calling him things like "fatso."

6 Vintage Graduation Tips That Still Apply Today

The Huffington Post | Ann Brenoff | Posted 06.18.2014 | Fifty

Remember in "The Graduate," Dustin Hoffman's character Benjamin was given just one word of advice upon his graduation? "Plastics." While there...

How To Spot The Unapologetic Apology

Ann Brenoff | Posted 08.12.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

It's safe to say that Clippers soon-to-be-former owner Donald Sterling is a poster boy for how not to apologize. Surely, it can't be that hard, even if you are a multi-billionaire who likes to parade around with strange-looking chicks on your arm. (I'm sorry; that was an uncalled-for and mean remark.)

5 Weight Loss Habits That Are Making You Gain Weight

Ann Brenoff | Posted 08.05.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

I've been around the dieting block a couple of times myself. OK, more than a couple. Right now, I'm in that unenviable spot of having no clothes that fit comfortably while I'm in a stare-down contest with summer. Who's going to blink first: My need to lose my winter poundage or that bathing suit I won't wear unless I do?

6 Surprising Things I Learned About Life From My Fitbit

The Huffington Post | Ann Brenoff | Posted 06.04.2014 | Fifty

You know how those freeway signs spoke to Steve Martin in "L.A. Story?" Well I'm having a similar relationship with my Fitbit. Fitbits are those littl...

5 Fascinating Things I Learned From Prom Photos On Facebook

The Huffington Post | Ann Brenoff | Posted 06.02.2014 | Fifty

Everyone knows that the cool kids have already fled Facebook en masse, vacating the building just as soon as their middle-aged parents occupied the so...

The Dark Side Of The College Game

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.29.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

We are now in the meanest time of a high school senior's life. A few weeks ago they had to commit to a college and by now, word has trickled out about who is going where, who got in where, and more importantly, who didn't get to go where they wanted.

Elliot Rodger And The C-Word

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.28.2014 | Women
Ann Brenoff

It was one of those icky moments that, if you are a woman, you have likely experienced. It may have been years ago, but it might as well have been yesterday because you still remember it in vivid detail -- including how vulnerable you felt, how powerless you must have seemed.

8 Reasons Your Kid Won't Write Thank You Notes

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.22.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

This may be the easiest post I ever wrote. You want eight reasons why your child doesn't write thank-you notes? Here you go.

The One Rite Of Passage I Won't Take Part In

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.15.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

When it came time to teach my 16-year-old daughter to drive, the division of parental duties was a clear and obvious choice: My husband would do it and all parties involved would do their utmost to keep me as uninformed as possible. Trust me, it's better this way.

The One Thing The Internet Has Made A Whole Lot Worse

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.08.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

Lots of professions have fallen to the sword of technology. I, for one, would vote to restore travel agents to their former place in the food chain. Travel agents may stand alone in things the Internet didn't improve.

7 Things That Would Make Life So Much Easier

Ann Brenoff | Posted 07.01.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

Life, overall, is pretty sweet. Aging turns out not to be the demon I feared. Largely, I'm happy and healthy and know how to throw the car in reverse for those times when I'm not. But on a recent nasty commute home, I thought of 7 things that would so sincerely improve life for midlifers (at least this midlifer.)

The Medical Intervention That Packs The Most Powerful Punch

Ann Brenoff | Posted 06.24.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

A month ago, we went to the most expensive Bat Mitzvah celebration I ever attended. It was expensive -- for us -- because somewhere in the middle of a Grand Ballroom at the Millennium Biltmore Hotel in Los Angeles, my husband lost one of his hearing aids.

Playing The "When Will I Die?" Numbers Game

Ann Brenoff | Posted 06.10.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

We all die, right? Some of us do it the long way, chipping away at life slowly until there is nothing left; others check out abruptly with a sudden heart attack or accident. Some of us do it when we are old and others do it when we are younger. It's them -- those younger people -- that get under my skin.

Self-Written Obit Becomes Ultimate Way To Have The Last Word

Ann Brenoff | Posted 06.03.2014 | Fifty
Ann Brenoff

There was a time when the obituaries were the best read part of your daily newspaper. That was, of course, back in the days when you actually had a daily newspaper. But as news moved online and the people producing it skewed younger, writing about someone's death -- or more accurately someone's life at the time they died -- became less of an art form.